Why men won't marry you

[ebenz47037]

Some people here are going to be surprised by my thoughts on this matter. And, I don't think they will like them at all. So, this a one-time post on this topic for me.

In my opinion, Yorzhik and Elo are right. We quit teaching our sons and daughters, a long time ago, to depend on someone else (I.E. depending on your spouse to make you whole, etc). Now, we have a bunch of feminized men and strong women who, if they get married at all, don't stay married to take care of their families. We've taught our sons to be more sensitive and "in touch with their feminine side" instead of being strong and willing to be the backbone in a marriage. And, we've taught our daughters that they can do anything a man can do, sometimes better than a man can do. We've tried to teach them that there is no difference between men and women. There are huge differences that we should teach our children to appreciate instead of hide from. If I had had my way, I would have remarried soon after Steve passed away and continued raising my daughter with a strong male head of household. But, most men don't want to raise another man's child as his own. So, I had no choice but to take on what I consider the man's role in my family and take care of my family without the benefit of a husband. Now, I'm almost 47 and really miss being married. I don't like having the role of head of household thrust on me.

Men are supposed to be the head of their homes, taking care of their families financially. Women are supposed to be the nurturers of the family, taking care of the emotional needs of their husbands and children. Even if you believe in evolution, you can see that. Although there are sometimes (rarely) emotional men and physically strong women, the majority of men and women are the opposite.

Sometimes, I sit here, reading this thread and shaking my head because I can't believe how much men and women have changed. My grandmother (Nana) was a true Proverbs 31/Titus 2 woman. She raised ten children. She took care of the farmhouse. She provided a loving and comfortable home for her husband and her children. My grandfather went out to support the family financially. When it got hard for him to financially support his family, he started farming as well as working outside the home. When he passed away, all of their children were adults. With the exception of my mother, all of them helped take care of Nana. Uncle Don and Aunt Mary built a house for Nana on their farm. All of my other uncles and aunts would send money to Nana for her everyday needs and come stay with her to help take care of her until she passed away. My mom was the baby of the family and spoiled rotten. She, pretty much, thought that everyone owed it to her to take care of her. I still remember her telling me, as I grew up, that I didn't need a man for anything in my life. She said that women were better than men. I thank God, daily, that I had Nana to show me that neither men nor women were better than the other and that neither could do well without relying on the other.

 

[BOLCATS]

I'm only calling him a fool because he's acting like one. His reading comprehension is good enough that he has no excuse for the misreading he's exhibited. For instance, his claim that "clearly demonstrate the risk of an older man marrying a much younger woman." is what I'm talking about would be, you'd have to agree, so far off the mark that he should be embarrassed.


Actually there is some interesting study on this. Wiki lists some here, to wit: I'm not bringing up race, but I am bringing up human potential. When blacks raised in white culture are tested, their IQ's align closer with whites. Again, I'm not saying there is a difference between blacks and whites genetically, but I'm confirming your statement that environment and opportunity are more important to IQ than genetics in general.


Your claim that I'm saying men are superior is unfounded. Just because men are smarter/stronger/faster doesn't make them superior except in those narrow measures. Women have other measures, that I've mentioned, that they are better at. What decides if one person is superior to another is a measure of character, not physical or mental abilities. Which sex does the right thing more than the other? It would depend on a lot of factors that over the whole world would even out. Which means I don't view one sex superior to the other. Now, it's obvious that men are stronger and faster, but the real claim you have a problem with is that I say men are smarter.

The reason men are smarter than women is because women prefer it that way. Women prefer their men be smarter than themselves, so they focus on other things than IQ. Men know a woman will not accept his advances if he isn't smarter than her, so he focuses on being smart.

But we've done some horrible things to subvert this natural order by the laws we've created in the US. It's too bad, because both men and women would be happier and society would be more able to provide a comfortable life for more people if it were not so.

And the end game? It's death. That's what the spirit of the age is accomplishing by destroying relationships and making childbirth a bad idea - death to humanity, one culture at a time.

Post of the decade. Not only did you clarify your statements that caused the uproar and make them reasonable, you bring the reason for gender intelligence difference out clearly. I knew this in the back of my head but could not articulate it. There is no biological basis for superior intelligence in men......it is purely a social construct as I alluded to a few pages back.

 

[BOLCATS]

Some people here are going to be surprised by my thoughts on this matter. And, I don't think they will like them at all. So, this a one-time post on this topic for me.

In my opinion, Yorzhik and Elo are right. We quit teaching our sons and daughters, a long time ago, to depend on someone else (I.E. depending on your spouse to make you whole, etc). Now, we have a bunch of feminized men and strong women who, if they get married at all, don't stay married to take care of their families. We've taught our sons to be more sensitive and "in touch with their feminine side" instead of being strong and willing to be the backbone in a marriage. And, we've taught our daughters that they can do anything a man can do, sometimes better than a man can do. We've tried to teach them that there is no difference between men and women. There are huge differences that we should teach our children to appreciate instead of hide from. If I had had my way, I would have remarried soon after Steve passed away and continued raising my daughter with a strong male head of household. But, most men don't want to raise another man's child as his own. So, I had no choice but to take on what I consider the man's role in my family and take care of my family without the benefit of a husband. Now, I'm almost 47 and really miss being married. I don't like having the role of head of household thrust on me.

Men are supposed to be the head of their homes, taking care of their families financially. Women are supposed to be the nurturers of the family, taking care of the emotional needs of their husbands and children. Even if you believe in evolution, you can see that. Although there are sometimes (rarely) emotional men and physically strong women, the majority of men and women are the opposite.

Sometimes, I sit here, reading this thread and shaking my head because I can't believe how much men and women have changed. My grandmother (Nana) was a true Proverbs 31/Titus 2 woman. She raised ten children. She took care of the farmhouse. She provided a loving and comfortable home for her husband and her children. My grandfather went out to support the family financially. When it got hard for him to financially support his family, he started farming as well as working outside the home. When he passed away, all of their children were adults. With the exception of my mother, all of them helped take care of Nana. Uncle Don and Aunt Mary built a house for Nana on their farm. All of my other uncles and aunts would send money to Nana for her everyday needs and come stay with her to help take care of her until she passed away. My mom was the baby of the family and spoiled rotten. She, pretty much, thought that everyone owed it to her to take care of her. I still remember her telling me, as I grew up, that I didn't need a man for anything in my life. She said that women were better than men. I thank God, daily, that I had Nana to show me that neither men nor women were better than the other and that neither could do well without relying on the other.

Another outstanding post. Be careful, there are many feminists and beta males who will call you a misogynist.

 

[BOLCATS]

What Cabinet maker wrote about me was illogical, fallacious and defamatory. Does a wise man or a fool make such statements?

More high fallutin sidestepping and obfuscation ahead.

 

[ebenz47037]

Another outstanding post. Be careful, there are many feminists and beta males who will call you a misogynist.

Thank you for the compliment. I'm not a misogynist. I'm old-fashioned.

 

[Arthur Brain]

The reason men are smarter than women is because women prefer it that way. Women prefer their men be smarter than themselves, so they focus on other things than IQ. Men know a woman will not accept his advances if he isn't smarter than her, so he focuses on being smart.

This right here is why you are just such an idiot on the subject. How many times now have you put yourself forth as some ridiculous kind of spokesperson for women? If what you're advocating were right the suffragette movement would never have took off. Women in general would have been quite happy being subservient to their husbands and not trying to better themselves etc. The days of a patriarchal misogynist society are gone and women had to fight to be taken as seriously as their male counterparts so it doesn't strike me as they were all that happy with the 'status quo' much as you'd probably prefer it back then...

You are so out of touch it's almost laughable.

 

[Town Heretic]

Procreation, fatherhood and husbandry are integral to the commission and there is no commission without human procreation. There is no greater purpose for man and no greater work of God than procreation.

I think you erred in your conclusion. You don't have to care about the commission to procreate. It only receives value as a means to a greater end. The greatest work therefore is the commission and procreation is only necessary for some. Paul in particular seems clear that it can be an advantage for some to abstain altogether.

I'm only calling him a fool because he's acting like one.

I think he insulted you and you insulted him back. I can't say I haven't done my share of that, but I think when you find yourself using a word that Christ wasn't too fond of it might be time to reign in, reconsider and perhaps even end a conversation.

His reading comprehension is good enough that he has no excuse for the misreading he's exhibited. For instance, his claim that "clearly demonstrate the risk of an older man marrying a much younger woman." is what I'm talking about would be, you'd have to agree, so far off the mark that he should be embarrassed.

Haven't had the time to follow most of the conversation. I only made a limited call seeing a thing that troubled me.

Actually there is some interesting study on this. Wiki lists some here, to wit: I'm not bringing up race, but I am bringing up human potential. When blacks raised in white culture are tested, their IQ's align closer with whites. Again, I'm not saying there is a difference between blacks and whites genetically, but I'm confirming your statement that environment and opportunity are more important to IQ than genetics in general.

Sure. I think the data is clear that we can profoundly impact the reality for people by providing them greater means and elevating expectation. I think of my family and the expectation that every generation would attend and graduate with at least an undergraduate degree, the great advantage I had in coming up in a home filled with books and banter and the general sorts of things you find in a home with a history of them, generationally.

And then I think on some of my classmates who went home to relative poverty and a parent who might not have known how to read, let alone value and pass along the value of things that were as foreign to their experience as walking on the moon.

There's no overselling the value of opportunity and environment.

Your claim that I'm saying men are superior is unfounded.

You've misread me. I wasn't speaking to or about you at that point, which is why I went into that brief remark with, "I'm saddened by reading any woman..." I probably should have taken a quote by Peace as a lead in, but I was in a hurry and thought the gender qualifier would make my intent and aim plain.

Now, it's obvious that men are stronger and faster, but the real claim you have a problem with is that I say men are smarter.

People have all sorts of advantages. I wasn't aware of your position on it but if you think men are inherently more intelligent I'd say you're running with out of date data and are wrong on the count.

 

[serpentdove]

What are the qualifications for marriage?

Don't marry another to improve your behavior. :freak: Jn 3:19, Mk 3:25, Re 22:11

 

[Town Heretic]

To those making the pre-frontal cortex argument:

What are the qualifications for marriage? List them. Relate them to the development of the pre-frontal cortex.

I wouldn't say it's an argument. It's an observation that goes to judgment, which is what you need to enter into any contract. The deficiency of that should lead, reasonably, to a less than desirable outcome more often than you'd expect from someone with a greater capacity on the point. And that's what we see in the numbers and percentages.

Are you saddened that I promote the idea that your brains and intelligence are more easily damaged than mine in a polluted world?

Hiya Peace. No, I've been pretty clear about what I found disappointing in that.

If you start with a better calculator does that make you actually superior?

No, but it will tend to make your reasoning superior or at least allow for it.

Because if it did, you'd be a eugenicist and I'd be inferior by way of another limitation than my sex. So what if some types of people are smarter or have advantages others don't? Does it make them superior?

I don't think that's a card I've played in any of this.

Is there a reason to suggest you have a lower empathy quotient as a man than a woman, on average? (EQ)

I was looking at a Berkeley article in their University Undergraduate Journal that had this to say about that:

Evaluation of nonverbal data using neuroimaging techniques such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) provides less support for gender differences in empathy. In their meta-analysis, Wager et al. (2003) did not find a significant difference in brain activation between men and women in response to emotional stimuli. The use of physiological measures as indices of empathy results in men and women obtaining similar scores (Eisenberg & Lennon, 1983). Thus, in studies that use neuroscientific and physiological methods, gender differences in empathy do not appear. These findings strongly suggest that previously reported evidence of gender differences in empathy might be influenced by the methods adopted in the studies.

The most convincing evidence for gender differences in empathy is provided by studies using self-report measures to assess empathy (Rueckert, 2011). Are there Gender Differences in Empathy?, Shevantika Nanda, University of St Andrews​

Is it fair to say that when some of us can't control things that limit the way we use our brains? And if it is true, then certainly you can argue for a suitable, enriching environment that levels the playing field for young married couples and parents.

Not completely sure what you're after with that, a waiver of sorts? I think we have to look at degree of impairment and how it can be addressed. It's an interesting point of inquiry.

 

[This Charming Manc]

nah weak insecure men wont marry independent women...

Indeed ... that sums up this thread rather well. Older men. Younger women. Easily manipulated. Complete reliance. Men won't marry. Independent women.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

This right here is why you are just such an idiot on the subject. How many times now have you put yourself forth as some ridiculous kind of spokesperson for women?

Hasn't a family man with women raised to adulthood from his home earned himself a little respect as an expert in women? I'm not saying he's more of an expert than certain women but he's obviously earned a few credentials.

Have you raised any women to adulthood as a father? What experience gives you the right to call him ridiculous?

My husband and I haven't finished with our daughters but we have 4that are half grown or more.

I think we know more than someone who hasn't done that much.

Speaking as a woman in love and married about 16 years, I like the fact that my husband is smarter than most and can win many a friendly argument. It's certainly attractive as a type of hypergamy.

It helps to have stacked the deck by picking an older man, but it's hard for a woman like me to find a smarter man, so I needed to do something that extreme to find an equal. And he's just very wise, empathetic and intelligent, age aside.

Women in general would have been quite happy being subservient to their husbands and not trying to better themselves etc.

We are supposed to be subservient to one another. And a wife is supposed to feel good calling her man Lord (like Sarah could do). It's neat when the man makes you feel admiring and a little star-struck.

You are so out of touch it's almost laughable.

Personally, I think he knows women better than you.

 

[Rusha]

Personally, I think he knows women better than you.

You couldn't be more wrong.

 

[Rusha]

His post was illogical, fallacious and defamatory.

Nope, it was accurate.

Why are young woman easily manipulated by older men? You are implying a gender weakness.

No, that is the spin you put on it. I am suggesting that old people should not prey on young people because they are easy targets to manipulate.

A husband and wife have complete reliance on each other. A child is completely reliant on their complete reliance.

Some do, some don't. Relying on someone who always chooses to do the wrong thing is not possible.

Nonsense. Independent women have a smaller pool of men to choose from, and fewer men are responding to price, which is an enigma to economists.

Right ... which is WHY they are independent. They do not have the desperate need to hook up with someone who doesn't match up to their standards.

 

[Arthur Brain]

Hasn't a family man with women raised to adulthood from his home earned himself a little respect as an expert in women? I'm not saying he's more of an expert than certain women but he's obviously earned a few credentials.

Not when he comes out with half baked crap as he did in the piece I quoted he doesn't no. He is not a spokesman for women in general and if you think he's an expert on what women want simply because he's been married and had kids then again, that's just naïve.

Have you raised any women to adulthood as a father? What experience gives you the right to call him ridiculous?

As above, not relevant to this. Do you think anybody should be taken seriously if they promote themselves as an expert on the opposite sex or just the ones you agree with?

My husband and I haven't finished with our daughters but we have 4that are half grown or more.

I think we know more than someone who hasn't done that much.

You'll know more about raising children than someone who hasn't, sure. You're no more qualified to speak on behalf of either gender in general because of any of that though, which is the point here. History shows that women weren't happy with having no voice and being kept down so that alone should give you pause for thought.

Speaking as a woman in love and married about 16 years, I like the fact that my husband is smarter than most and can win many a friendly argument. It's certainly attractive as a type of hypergamy.

It helps to have stacked the deck by picking an older man, but it's hard for a woman like me to find a smarter man, so I needed to do something that extreme to find an equal. And he's just very wise, empathetic and intelligent, age aside.

Then good for you if it works and you're both happy, I've no problem with it. I've no problem with a woman being a stay at home mom etc if that's what she wants and isn't pressured into.

We are supposed to be subservient to one another. And a wife is supposed to feel good calling her man Lord (like Sarah could do). It's neat when the man makes you feel admiring and a little star-struck.

It's one thing to be committed to one another, it's another when the woman is expected to play a subservient role as in times past.

Personally, I think he knows women better than you.

Then I don't think you know many women frankly. If you think that most women would be happy being classed as less smart than blokes or that they want blokes to be smarter than them then you seriously haven't got a clue.

 

[BOLCATS]

Life based experience = half baked crap. Sociological theory held to strongly without cause= wisdom


That's why the western world is messed up.

 

[elohiym]

If you think that most women would be happy being classed as less smart than blokes or that they want blokes to be smarter than them then you seriously haven't got a clue.

If women generally want an intelligent mate it follows they would prefer someone smarter than someone dumber or "equally smart." Are you implying that women generally don't want an intelligent mate?

 

[elohiym]

I am suggesting that old people should not prey on young people because they are easy targets to manipulate.

I agree with you that older woman should not manipulate younger men. Good point. Glad you didn't mean anything about gender that we seemed to be discussing.

Right ... which is WHY they are independent.

Rather, it's why they aren't married.

They do not have the desperate need to hook up with someone who doesn't match up to their standards.

You haven't listed the qualifications for marriage.

If you could choose a man who was more intelligent than you, less intelligent than you or equally as intelligent as you, which would you pick?

 

[Arthur Brain]

If women generally want an intelligent mate it follows they would prefer someone smarter than someone dumber or "equally smart." Are you implying that women generally don't want an intelligent mate?

Why? Are you attracted to women who are 'dumber' than you? If you're attracted to intelligent women then what difference would it make if they were as equally smart or a bit more so than you?

 

[elohiym]

nah weak insecure men wont marry independent women...

Sometimes one weak, insecure man will marry and bilk several independent women.

Joe (Mac) Duffy says his life in the fast lane came to a stop the night he was arrested last November. The man Newport Beach police accuse of bilking rich, beautiful women out of thousands of dollars was wearing a black $1,000 Armani coat, a Movado watch and $800 crocodile shoes.​

Old story, but it makes a point.

 

[elohiym]

Why?

Uh, because you seem to be implying that and I'm asking for clarification. Are you dodging?

Are you attracted to women who are 'dumber' than you?

I'm not attracted to dumb women beyond an initial physical attraction (assuming they are physically beautiful to me). Are you attracted to dumb women?

If you're attracted to intelligent women then what difference would it make if they were as equally smart or a bit more so than you?

Do you concede it makes a difference if my wife is smarter or equally smart, or do you claim it makes no difference whatsoever?