Why men won't marry you

[Rusha]

How was she mocking you having faith in God?

I wasn't. I do not believe this has anything to do with God or Christianity, but everything to do with her own insecurities and need for validation.

 

[Dan Emanuel]

Yes. Hormones. Older women have options for increasing their libidos if they want. So I've read.

Whatever the reason is, younger women are closer to men in term's of how interested they are in marital relation's. As women age, men have to work harder to maintain there interest.

Why should I work hard to keep anyone interested? How about I just be myself and if I'm interesting she'll be interested?

You probably work hard.

I have seven children with that younger woman, kid.

Thank's. I'm not a kid.

You come do my job for a day and then talk ... or cry. :chuckle:

You probably work hard.

You said that twice. Consider that an older man's libido decreases, too. An older man that can match libidos with a younger woman should have higher testosterone levels and therefore will look younger and healthier than his lower testosterone peers.

Even a middle-aged man could "match libidos" with almost all younger women, they do it all the time. Consider that even with zero effort, most older mens interest in marital relation's are equal to or superior to the same interest in young women.


Daniel

 

[CabinetMaker]

I don't have set requirements for being marriageable. There is a law in my state.

Why do you think a 21 year old is a child?
Why do you insist a college degree be a requirement?

That was not a question I have ever asked. My question was about what kind of testing did you and 1PM submit to/do/partake in to make sure you met all the requirements you each had for a spouse.

Also, please be sure to note that I said would share the advice I give my daughters, not that I had a list of requirements. That adequately deals with your second two questions.

 

[Yorzhik]

I think smart people are attracted, generally, to smart people, but it's all about what you value in someone else.

Just like women want someone taller than themselves, they want someone smarter as well. It's the law of hypergamy and it's been confirmed in every context.

I've never met someone who said to me, "What I'm looking for is someone I know is smarter than me." I don't believe our egos are built that way.

Darn toot'n they don't say it that way when they meet you.


They also don't say "what I'm looking for is someone I know is stronger than me." Although they are open about saying "what I'm looking for is someone I know is taller than me." Let me know the difference between these two desires and we'll see if you can't figure out why women don't directly say they want someone smarter than themselves.

Well, you conclusion was before you amended it, but I'm fine with revisions of any sort that get us closer to the truth of a thing, which is that women aren't less intelligent than men.

Men are smarter than women in terms of IQ, but women are no less intelligent than men in terms of potential. In fact, women are probably smarter than men in terms of calculating relationship dynamics; but that isn't something that can be tested for. So it is still true to say, in general, that men are smarter than women because without a qualifier we assume the testable measure.

Given men are marrying later, a lot of those men may well marry and will tend to marry at some point along that snapshot. So the author is being a little alarmist and fudging a bit by combining along that age line.

The reason they look at the 20-34 age range is because that's when men want to start families. Starting families really drops off for men after this age. Thus, while it's also interesting to track men's marriage habits after the age of 34, it doesn't matter to a culture's existence very much.

The data we have on men is that the average age of marriage is trending toward the far end of their twenties. So most men before that aren't marrying and it skews what the percentage is telling you and misrepresents what it isn't. Now if she said 70% of men over the age of 29 weren't getting married it would be alarming.

This is a great irony. Men, in general, want to marry younger but it's the women that don't want to.

But that's not the most interesting thing about the 70% of men that aren't married in the age range of 20-34. What's more interesting is the fact that men aren't marrying in any greater percentage after the age of 34. This is the reason the average age of marriage is creeping up steadily to where it is now in the upper 20's and not shooting up beyond it.

 

[Angel4Truth]

How many women do you have, and are they all women? Just curious. You aren't Mormon are you....by any chance?

Good question, since his wife suggested polygamy for their marriage.

Yeah, she posted in the past, but that was a dismal failure. :chuckle:. Now she just reads from time-to-time. She enjoys posting on unassisted child birth forums more.

Anyway, my wife thinks polygamy is acceptable, and she has even suggested it for our marriage. However, I am opposed to polygamy for our marriage. One woman is enough for me...and about all I can tolerate. :chuckle:

 

[Town Heretic]

Just like women want someone taller than themselves, they want someone smarter as well. It's the law of hypergamy and it's been confirmed in every context.

Hypergamy is about class advancement. How does that advance your point? The more likely truth is that many men look for women who aren't as smart as they are as an ego boost and control mechanism.

Darn toot'n they don't say it that way when they meet you.

:drums:

They also don't say "what I'm looking for is someone I know is stronger than me." Although they are open about saying "what I'm looking for is someone I know is taller than me." Let me know the difference between these two desires and we'll see if you can't figure out why women don't directly say they want someone smarter than themselves.

Because it would be a bit like insulting themselves. Most people (especially those who haven't been tested) think they're smarter than they actually are. That is, it's human nature to elevate ourselves. It's not human nature to denigrate ourselves or to seek inequality.

It's understandable for anyone to look for a successful mate. And if a woman desires children and a traditional role with them then she'll naturally want a mate who can provide well, but that's a different animal.

Men are smarter than women in terms of IQ,

No, you're still wrong about that, still working from bad data. You need to bone up on the more recent studies. Women and men showed progress on that line, but women made stronger and more appreciable progress. Given the opportunity and expectation they perform as well or better than their male counterparts.

In fact, women are probably smarter than men in terms of calculating relationship dynamics; but that isn't something that can be tested for.

There have been tests on emotional perception and empathy, with women doing much better than men, but mostly where the data was self reported instead of measured scientifically. When measured objectively the difference was actually marginal. We process differently, but our calculators are comparable.

So it is still true to say, in general, that men are smarter than women because without a qualifier we assume the testable measure.

Except that isn't true. See: Why Women Finally Have Higher IQs than Men, Time, July 16, 2012 and/or Men, Women, and IQ: Setting the Record Straight, Psychology Today, July 20, 2012.

The reason they look at the 20-34 age range is because that's when men want to start families.

Not any more. Men are waiting later. If they want to look at 29 to thirty something it would make more sense.

Starting families really drops off for men after this age.

Historically true, but it looks as though history is changing.

This is a great irony. Men, in general, want to marry younger but it's the women that don't want to.

Well, no. I don't think that's sustainable at all, presently.

 

[Angel4Truth]

Why, because they are too stupid, or too jealous/insecure?

So a woman who doesnt want their husbands to try polygamy for their marriage, is stupid or jealous or insecure? :rotfl:

A man who wants polygamy wants legal adultery, plain and simple and any woman who wants it, doesn't think much of herself.

Because most women don't come up with suggestions for discussion based on Bible-reading. They wait for their husbands to announce a conclusion or make the suggestion to consider something. :dizzy:

If you think the story of sarah is something God wanted for them, you are nuts and cant read. It clearly showed that they suffered because of her not trusting Gods promise. She led her husband to try to override God - to try for force fulfull Gods promised because she wanted a baby so bad.

Are you going to suggest now that Abraham was manipulating Sarah?

Nope and she never said any such lie, your vain imagination did.

And if my husband manipulated me into suggesting it, why did he turn it down while remaining passionately devoted to me? He seems so content.

What would such a charade be for?

No one suggested anything like that based on sarah and abraham so the only "charade" is yours.

Sarah also couldnt have a child, which is why the whole issue started and she didnt trust God and he showed he didnt also by going along with it and it caused them much greif.

It was about a baby, not a man having more wives, and if thats how you read the bible, you need some help, seriously.

PS Hagar and her son was sent away because of the issues it caused in Sarah and Abraham's marriage, did you forget that part?

 

[Angel4Truth]

So Sarah (Mrs. Abraham) of the Bible just couldn't say no, huh?



Says, you, the voice of "all" - apparently. :chuckle:



You mean, I defended myself so well, thank you. That's a Biblical argument, for you, a very sound defense.



Listen, heathen, mocking faith in God has taken out bigger goliaths than you.



To a fool.

:carryon:

She did no such thing, you twisted her words like you always do. Like a fool. :carryon:

 

[Angel4Truth]

I wasn't. I do not believe this has anything to do with God or Christianity, but everything to do with her own insecurities and need for validation.

:thumb: exactly and anyone with eyes can see it.

 

[Arthur Brain]

Just like women want someone taller than themselves, they want someone smarter as well. It's the law of hypergamy and it's been confirmed in every context.

How about wider as well? You really are clueless and should refrain from talking about what any woman wants never mind most...TH has blown any "argument" you had away and you should take a semi dignified exit away from this thread frankly, if you have any sense. You are not a spokesperson for women or men and are just embarrassing.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Don't take it so personally.

The problem isn't me taking it personally. This is the problem:

True or false, your Christian friends are preaching foolishness.

Your friends want you to be cold or hot. Don't be a dishonest friend and pretend they are reasonable when the values behind what they do are based on a gospel that's foolishness to you at this time.

The story of Sarah is evidence of that. What motivated Sarah to actually try polygamy is the same thing that motivated me to suggest it. It's directly connected to our (to you) foolish gospel of Christ.

Now, maybe you'd argue that A4T's version of the gospel is less foolish to you. You are free to do that.

Some of us live in the present and

So you are mocking those who find OT/NT Bible principles applicable today...

in the present, I would sum up the type of person who would allow or encourage their spouse to bring a third, fourth, fifth, etc. party into their marriage.

Doormat.

Definition: : a mat placed before or inside a door for wiping dirt from the shoes

Loud and clear.

Also, even better from dictionary.com: a person who is the habitual object of abuse ...

I would agree, in the sense that a polygamy-friendly family opens themselves up to emotional abuse from people like you.

You say that as though I care about goes on in your household. I don't.

I'm sure you don't care. The answer you give to this question will prove it.

Imagine I came to you and said that my husband emotionally abused me (which he does not, btw, this is a hypothetical) and it was harming my health, causing systemic lupus flare-ups and could kill me. You've seen him publicly "trash" me - the claim you and A4T appear to stand by. Meanwhile, like in real life, he's a really wonderful father and the kids get along with him just fine.

Now the question is this - under that hypothetical scenario - would you tell me to stay with him or have some self respect and end the marriage?

Put another way, would you tell me to stay in a marriage of destructive emotional abuse?

Try giving an honest answer.

 

[Arthur Brain]

Why would you even suggest polygamy 1PM? I realize neither you or Elo are going with it but why would you even think that it was something worth considering?

 

[Angel4Truth]

The story of Sarah is evidence of that. What motivated Sarah to actually try polygamy is the same thing that motivated me to suggest it. It's directly connected to our (to you) foolish gospel of Christ.

You are a liar, you had children already when you were claiming to be "motivated to suggest it" and have claimed in this thread, you are still open to it.

Second Rusha did not claim the gospel foolish, nor does the gospel have anything to do with polygamy unless you are flds - you arent flds are you or grow up that way (that would explain a LOT if you were..)

Spin spin spin :rotfl:

 

[Angel4Truth]

Why would you even suggest polygamy 1PM? I realize neither you or Elo are going with it but why would you even think that it was something worth considering?

He has one wife and 4 daughters. I'm the wife and the only adult woman in the house for now.

I'm not saying this is the case but in my understanding women don't usually make suggestions like that out of the blue. It is usually because their husband has made statements and/or otherwise given the impression that this is something that they want.

Why, because they are too stupid, or too jealous/insecure?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

You are a liar, you had children already when you were claiming to be "motivated to suggest it" and have claimed in this thread, you are still open to it.

I'm fulfilling the promise to Abraham like Sarah, just the same. (hint: my children are part of the innumerable promised children to Abraham. Any children we can have in the family are that.)

Second Rusha did not claim the gospel foolish

Then she should get off the fence and put Christian as her designation. If she does not believe the gospel of Christ, it is foolishness to her; there is no middle ground.

I already said if she likes your version of the Gospel better than mine she is free to say so.

nor does the gospel have anything to do with polygamy

The gospel has everything to do with polygamy since the gospel is summed up in Matt 7:12. And you can't be anti-polygamy without being anti-Matt 7:12.

unless you are flds - you arent flds are you or grow up that way (that would explain a LOT if you were..)

I was raised SDA where polygamous families were shamed and broken up. That's one big reason I left. Jesus' words are that no man should put them asunder - God has determined that cleaving makes them one flesh, beyond your judging reach.

 

[Angel4Truth]

I'm fulfilling the promise to Abraham like Sarah, just the same. (hint: my children are part of the innumerable promised children to Abraham. Any children we can have in the family are that.)



Then she should get off the fence and put Christian as her designation. If she does not believe the gospel of Christ, it is foolishness to her; there is no middle ground.

I already said if she likes your version of the Gospel better than mine she is free to say so.



The gospel has everything to do with polygamy since the gospel is summed up in Matt 7:12. And you can't be anti-polygamy without being anti-Matt 7:12.



I was raised SDA where polygamous families were shamed and broken up. That's one big reason I left. Jesus' words are that no man should put them asunder - God has determined that cleaving makes them one flesh, beyond your judging reach.

Except youve already said in this thread you still support it and are open to it, if God was to will it for you, which shows you are spinning now since you have many children.*you also had children when you 'suggested it' for your marriage - Also Rusha never brought up sarah either, you did and then put an accusation in the form of a question, Rusha never said anything about Christianity, the gospel or God, you claiming she did, is a lie.

You are also spinning badly now, and backtracking.

Hint: be honest and you wont have to backtrack.

:carryon:

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Why would you even suggest polygamy 1PM? I realize neither you or Elo are going with it but why would you even think that it was something worth considering?

Because women deserve to be able to choose the wisest, most godly, most successful men, even if they themselves feel average and can't find a single man that matches that description.

Why settle for less?

 

[Angel4Truth]

Because women deserve to be able to choose the wisest, most godly, most successful men, even if they themselves feel average and can't find a single man that matches that description.

Why settle for less?

And that answer shows its not just about a man having a baby - which was the case in abraham and sarah, the promise of a child was made to abraham, it wasnt about an "average" woman having a husband. Abraham and Sarah also suffered that decision to try to override God, and so did the 'other' women suffer, being thrown out. If anything thats a lesson AGAINST adultery/polygamy.

So now you are spokesperson for "average" women. :rotfl:

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Except youve already said in this thread you still support it and are open to it, if God was to will it for you, which shows you are spinning now since you have many children.

I do still support it. If God showed me I should share my husband I would gladly do it. It would be amazing, I'm sure. But we don't feel qualified until God shows us otherwise. And we are content.

*you also had children when you 'suggested it' for your marriage

Suggestions don't make babies, they make conversations about the pros and cons of making babies.

- Also Rusha never brought up sarah either, you did and then put an accusation in the form of a question, Rusha never said anything about Christianity, the gospel or God, you claiming she did, is a lie.

Rusha turned my exploration of faith into a "doormat" checking in with her husband to see if he'd fetch another wife for himself. As I already explained, that was slanderous mocking of my faith. She did not do that without already reading my faith-based explanation, and if she did, it doesn't make her words any truer.

Hint: be honest and you wont have to backtrack.

:carryon:

Take your own advice and you won't have to throw a fit when humbled....

 

[Angel4Truth]

I do still support it. If God showed me I should share my husband I would gladly do it.

Finally the truth, you didnt 'suggest it' for the same reason sarah did. That was just a backtrack lie because you lied about Rusha and got caught with your own words.