Why men won't marry you

[Yorzhik]

Rather, the statistics tell us that women who marry before that line in the genetic sand I noted tend to get divorced.

This isn't true of Hispanics. The reason is that many of them are still from a culture where girls don't turn themselves into sluts before they are 20. That's the problem; American culture creates bitter slutty women by the time they are 20, thus almost insuring an unhappy marriage.

 

[Rusha]

Study: marriage more beneficial for men than women http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/sci...eneficial-for-men-than-women-study-shows.html

What a great incentive for men to behave by living up to their own demands ...

 

[elohiym]

I'm saying that women should be encouraged to realize that motherhood is one of the superpowers that women have. And also one of the greatest things that can be done in a society.

I agree. Men, too, should think that way about being fathers. Can any man on this thread claim a greater purpose for his life than procreation, fatherhood and husbandry?

 

[elohiym]

She was sowing discord.

Whatever is being sown, it's not my wife and I that are going to reap it.

It is her opinion that he was trashing you.

I wasn't trashing my awesome wife, obviously.

 

[elohiym]

I do not need complex prefrontal processes to make the choices I need to marry.

If it isn't completed you run a substantial risk of making a wrong choice, statistically speaking, overwhelmingly so.

What are the qualifications for marriage?

Please list the qualities that reflect a right choice. For example, do both parties need to be able to cook well? Do they both first have to be financially independent? You said it's not about intelligence earlier, so what is it about exactly?

 

[BOLCATS]

I think he will say maturity but will not define it in any way but ambiguous.

 

[bybee]

What are the qualifications for marriage?

Please list the qualities that reflect a right choice. For example, do both parties need to be able to cook well? Do they both first have to be financially independent? You said it's not about intelligence earlier, so what is it about exactly?

I believe Anne Landers once stated that "if the holes in your head match up with the lumps in his you may be compatible" or something along those lines.
I married at 20 my husband 22 and a half. We had five children within 10 years and suffered a major financial loss due to a bad accident which my husband suffered. We toughed our way through thick and thin for 53 years. My children are very grateful that I hung in there through the destructiveness of his alcoholism. He straightened out when our beloved son told him "Unless you stop drinking dad you can't live with us anymore".
He stopped drinking in time for his children to forgive him and he could be the man he wanted to be.
We often felt that our commonalities brought us through the tough spots. Simple things like a distaste for arguments, starting our days together over coffee, both workaholics and doing what we said we would do. We both stayed connected to our parents and siblings. Our faith was a mainstay.
There are many ways to a successful marriage.
It doesn't hurt though to listen to the caveats of those older and wiser who love you so long as it is a dialogue in which your necessities are being respected.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

LOL ... this is exactly why Angel and others have called you out on your dishonesty. You intentionally put the qualifier in the above sentence so you can counter back with "well so what if I did or didn't ... it was years ago".

Huh? That's a bad quote for you to pick if you were going to find fault with me. I can PROMISE adamantly that I never kept track or count of what reps I gave out.

So keep that in mind. Meanwhile you have a post you need to answer. After all, you must put limited qualifications on abuse like angel. I want to know what kind of abuse you expect women to tolerate.

So here's post#1083 AGAIN.

Different people define "abuse" differently, some guy not liking that his wife isnt his beck and call girl or who wont roll over every command for sex, isnt abuse (for example).

Agreed, Rusha?

I would need to know the particulars of a situation from both sides to determine actual abuse that would rise to the level of being against God and the marriage.

Agreed, Rusha?

We live in an easily offended culture, so abuse is a wide wide term, and not all of them would rise to the level of being against God.

Is Rusha easily offended? Are her terms for abuse too wide?

Unlike you, unless i know the particulars, no way to answer that.

OK - its not hard for me, though. Anything that the woman believes is that level of abuse that is against God would qualify as meeting my criteria, and I would add that she should get God's approval in her mind/heart personally.​

 

[Rusha]

Huh? That's a bad quote for you to pick if you were going to find fault with me. I can PROMISE adamantly that I never kept track or count of what reps I gave out.

As much as you would like to define what other are allowed to find fault with, that is not up to you. Also, no one claimed you kept track of your own history of neg repping. The point is the hypocrisy of complaining when it is now done to you.

 

[CabinetMaker]

I agree. Men, too, should think that way about being fathers. Can any man on this thread claim a greater purpose for his life than procreation, fatherhood and husbandry?

The Great Commission.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

The user.

Not possible. She was calling me a liar based on her own (obviously erroneous) list. What does she do for list tracking? A program? A TOL hack? Pencil and paper? LOL

Seems a bit obsessive to "yours truly," the obsessive compulsive here who knows what obsession looks like. (Another hallmark of AS)

I agree with her

So miscounting is lying in your world, too? Then the mods could prove that it's her lying right now.

Well, that's very special.

It's very special of you, too. Considering I don't remember. (my memory is getting annoyingly typical these days) I could go find links but I already know I left the SDA church because of their false accusing and abusing of successful polygamous marriages.

See, I put children first, men/women as the afterthought, (if anybody) so breaking up polygamous families filled with innocent children that are already happy seems wicked to me.

Those *some* would be of the same mindset as you so their opinion would be meaningless.

Actually, I was referring to you. You did it to me in the same thread you couched your actions as other than whining. Gotcha. :devil:

Overuse? Seriously. No ... abused and bullied is more like it.

I was trying to use the rep comments, as I recall, to respond because I didn't want any unwanted attention from a particular poster who asked my husband if he could have sex with me in a theology debate and basically called me a whore a few posts later, etc. So I was negging when I disagreed and pos repping when I agreed.

That's on top of my ambivalence about posting at all because of the socializing struggles I've had and my husband's desire to be protective at times.

Then I stirred up a whole heap of trouble and quit abusing the reps like they were ordinary comment boxes, because I realized I was messing with people way more than I realized.

So let me say right here, I'm sorry Rusha for abusing the rep system way back then. I'm trying to use neg reps sparingly and it's been months since my last neg was handed out. (I don't know how many months, though)

Now that maturity once again shows with you whining about A4T using the same rep system you repeatedly utilized.

Actually, I was addressing her neg rep to me because she accused me of lying and my husband of bashing me in the same breath. I then stated she was obsessing because half my rep page (11 of them, to be exact) is her negging. And then when she tried to argue the exact count I said, to myself, "this is getting even weirder."

It IS hypocritical because YOU and your husband mastered the technique of attacking someone with neg reps. Quite frankly, your previous behind the scenes antics have come back to bite you.

Never give an Aspie a chance to change, eh? And as for my husband, his antics are his own and I've not objected. He's got his own strategy of dealing with people that changes. But it's never been wackiness to the level I've seen with a certain poster.

 

[bybee]

Not possible. She was calling me a liar based on her own (obviously erroneous) list. What does she do for list tracking? A program? A TOL hack? Pencil and paper? LOL

Seems a bit obsessive to "yours truly," the obsessive compulsive here who knows what obsession looks like. (Another hallmark of AS)


So miscounting is lying in your world, too? Then the mods could prove that it's her lying right now.



It's very special of you, too. Considering I don't remember. (my memory is getting annoyingly typical these days) I could go find links but I already know I left the SDA church because of their false accusing and abusing of successful polygamous marriages.

See, I put children first, men/women as the afterthought, (if anybody) so breaking up polygamous families filled with innocent children that are already happy seems wicked to me.




Actually, I was referring to you. You did it to me in the same thread you couched your actions as other than whining. Gotcha. :devil:



I was trying to use the rep comments, as I recall, to respond because I didn't want any unwanted attention from a particular poster who asked my husband if he could have sex with me in a theology debate and basically called me a whore a few posts later, etc. So I was negging when I disagreed and pos repping when I agreed.

That's on top of my ambivalence about posting at all because of the socializing struggles I've had and my husband's desire to be protective at times.

Then I stirred up a whole heap of trouble and quit abusing the reps like they were ordinary comment boxes, because I realized I was messing with people way more than I realized.

So let me say right here, I'm sorry Rusha for abusing the rep system way back then. I'm trying to use neg reps sparingly and it's been months since my last neg was handed out. (I don't know how many months, though)



Actually, I was addressing her neg rep to me because she accused me of lying and my husband of bashing me in the same breath. I then stated she was obsessing because half my rep page (11 of them, to be exact) is her negging. And then when she tried to argue the exact count I said, to myself, "this is getting even weirder."



Never give an Aspie a chance to change, eh? And as for my husband, his antics are his own and I've not objected. He's got his own strategy of dealing with people that changes. But it's never been wackiness to the level I've seen with a certain poster.

Stop hiding behind that self proclaimed label of "aspie"! It is demeaning and misleading. You use it as a base and basis for your monotonous repetitive litany that your way is above reproach and all other approaches are suspect.
Get over yourself!

 

[1PeaceMaker]

As much as you would like to define what other are allowed to find fault with, that is not up to you. Also, no one claimed you kept track of your own history of neg repping. The point is the hypocrisy of complaining when it is now done to you.

You aren't making a whole lot of sense to me right now. You said something like I was trying to get out of what I actually did. I never actually did anything like that.

I think you are avoiding, or trying to avoid, the very unique thing A4T has done. (Granted, my theory of mind may be lacking but why else would you avoid that you were accusing me of using score cards or whatever she's doing?)

And how about post # 1083 ????

The world wants to know how much abuse you expect women to tolerate. We're waiting. :think:

Enjoy the spotlight for a minute.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Stop hiding behind that self proclaimed label of "aspie"! It is demeaning and misleading. You use it as a base and basis for your monotonous repetitive litany that your way is above reproach and all other approaches are suspect.
Get over yourself!

:shocked:

I'm speechless.

....Have you ever said that to any of the other AS sufferers doing their best to have socialization opportunities at TOL?

 

[bybee]

:shocked:

I'm speechless.

....Have you ever said that to any of the other AS sufferers doing their best to have socialization opportunities at TOL?

I don't know who they are? They obviously do not continually label themselves by their so called afflictions.
You do.

I doubt that you are ever speechless!
:think:

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I don't know who they are? They obviously do not continually label themselves by their so called afflictions.
You do.

I doubt that you are ever speechless!
:think:

They do label themselves. You forget. I suspect you are just picking on me. I had to bring up the AS in the context of what was being discussed. Sorry if you can't see the reason for it.

How would you answer post 1083, Bybee? Pretend you are Rusha and I'm talking to you, for a minute.

 

[Rusha]

Stop hiding behind that self proclaimed label of "aspie"! It is demeaning and misleading. You use it as a base and basis for your monotonous repetitive litany that your way is above reproach and all other approaches are suspect.
Get over yourself!

I'm speechless.

....Have you ever said that to any of the other AS sufferers doing their best to have socialization opportunities at TOL?

Do they keep bringing it up as a way to excuse their behavior?

 

[serpentdove]

Divorce and death: forty years of the Charleston Heart Study

 

[bybee]

They do label themselves. You forget. I suspect you are just picking on me. I had to bring up the AS in the context of what was being discussed. Sorry if you can't see the reason for it.

How would you answer post 1083, Bybee? Pretend you are Rusha and I'm talking to you, for a minute.

No! I am answering you not Rusha.
I do not take issue with much of your ways because they are your ways and you are free to be you.
But I believe you dissemble and deliberately set up other posters to misunderstand you.
The length of these discussions wherein you continually joust over the same issues with the same people betrays a need for attention.
Nothing wrong with that either but it is telling.
I wish you well because I feel that you are really a kind hearted good young woman. Blessings

 

[CabinetMaker]

No. I'm saying that women should be encouraged to realize that motherhood is one of the superpowers that women have. And also one of the greatest things that can be done in a society. And that they have few other advantages if any. They aren't as smart. They aren't as strong. They aren't as focused on work. They aren't as rational. They should capitalize on their superpower and if they want to marry young, they should be free to do so.

I agree. Men, too, should think that way about being fathers. Can any man on this thread claim a greater purpose for his life than procreation, fatherhood and husbandry?

Why would a woman wish to marry a man who thinks that she is dumb, week, incapable of focus, irrational and should strive to be only bare foot and pregnant?