Why men won't marry you

[Rusha]

Can I answer that one? :wave:

I am sure you will ... not that it will matter. My values are for the purpose of protecting vulnerable teens and children. Too bad if that bothers you. You will simply have to get over it.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I didn't say it was science. But she has a peculiar notion of a thing she obviously hasn't encompassed from her own perspective. I suspect it has to do with her becoming involved seriously with you before she could, when she considered you a need and was almost physically ill because she hadn't learned to be singular and comfortable with it.

I told you, I have AS. I was socially isolated because of it. There was no fixing it. It's still not fixed, although I have compensated over the years. As a single woman I was left out when everyone else would go to somebody's place to eat after church, and other such times. I was told point blank I didn't fit in.

The entire missionary college campus seemed comfortable just ignoring me, and social isolation is bad for anyone.

My problem was like Isaac's problem. Do you think Abraham was wrong to go fetch Rebecca as a solution? Or was God fixing Adam's isolation also wrong?

Nothing cold in not considering my life empty before her, in not having physical ailments because I'm not in a relationship.

Nobody said you had to have physical ailments. You weren't even socially isolated, from the sound of it.

But you are like a man who denies a need for food or water. Your tummy is empty before food. Your heart is empty of companionship when alone. Both are a hunger. One is easier to ignore, but both take a toll.

All that's missing is the notion that I'm broken and in need of mending without her.

You aren't broken and in need of mending when you sit down hungry to a meal. Yet it will not be healthy for you to deny your need.

Anorexia is not the same thing as maturity.

And God didn't answer Hannah's prayer for children because He was tired of her whining. He was meeting a need she had. It didn't make her broken to need children, unless you are broken if you are hungry.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I am sure you will ... not that it will matter. My values are for the purpose of protecting vulnerable teens and children. Too bad if that bothers you. You will simply have to get over it.

You have a smothering approach. You insult teens every time you try to "help" them.

That was just a warm-up. Want to keep going? I mean, if you enjoy the attention, there's lots more where that came from.

 

[Rusha]

So you say all this to strangers/newbs without proving your claim?

Yes, he was a man with suicidal depression. There, I said it. And that's why I defended him from slander.

Did you think you are the only one he shared that with? Prior to you encouraging his self-destructive behavior... I supported him PRIVATELY via PM. I am also aware of why he stated he was so upset.

I saw him try to keep up with his friends and debates on here by lurking on threads we participated in for many months and that's not stalking, that's a perfectly acceptable behavior.

However, on the threads I debated, A4T kept hating on him when he didn't post. It was weird. She was not letting anything go.

He harassed myself and Angel via PM's even when told not to.
BTW, since when does "letting it go" mean going on to post several angry call out threads?

You do not get to intentionally misrepresent what happened and paint your buddy as a victim. You, in fact, encouraged his behavior which is something an actual friend would not do.

This "he was depressed" does not mean he has the green light to attack and threaten anyone who irritates him.

 

[Rusha]

You have a smothering approach. You insult teens every time you try to "help" them.

That was just a warm-up. Want to keep going? I mean, if you enjoy the attention, there's lots more where that came from.

:chuckle: What you call *smothering* is an approach from a mature adult whose first priority is not validating her own relationship.

I and others speak in *general* ... and you have taken it personally because you see yourself as one of those young, immature teens.

Since you are not considered the voice of sanity, logic, wisdom or MATURITY on any topic, feel free to "keep going".

 

[Rusha]

I told you, I have AS. I was socially isolated because of it. There was no fixing it. It's still not fixed, although I have compensated over the years

Your compensation has been at the expense of others. Being that you are aware enough to blame your behave on this condition you claim to have, you should be aware enough actually think before you type.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Did you think you are the only one he shared that with? Prior to you encouraging his self-destructive behavior... I supported him PRIVATELY via PM. I am also aware of why he stated he was so upset.

I didn't encourage destructive behavior, I'm an Asperger's sufferer who did everything *I* could to get him and you to cohabitate the forum peacefully.

I eventually encouraged him to not speak to you, even when he felt like correcting misrepresentations of his character.

I didn't have him on a leash. So I'm not responsible for his destructive behaviors.

He harassed myself and Angel via PM's even when told not to.

Too bad only moderators can confirm that. I'll just let you have the benefit of the doubt. I had nothing to do with that.

BTW, since when does "letting it go" mean going on to post several angry call out threads?

You missed the part where I advised against call-out threads. Because of me he stopped doing a lot of things. He was not instantly responsive, but I'm not a domineering harpie, either, so I didn't push him around - I just offered my opinion when I could.

You do not get to intentionally misrepresent what happened and paint your buddy as a victim.

He was a victim at least at times. Like when he tried to passively read my threads and got taunted by A4T repeatedly.

You, in fact, encouraged his behavior which is something an actual friend would not do.

Evidence?

This "he was depressed" does not mean he has the green light to attack and threaten anyone who irritates him.

You blew things out of proportion. He was never a threat to you. And his public verbal "attacks" were at least partially understandable from what I saw.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Your compensation has been at the expense of others. Being that you are aware enough to blame your behave on this condition you claim to have, you should be aware enough actually think before you type.

You don't even know what I mean by compensation and you social chess players will have to deal with the fact that I don't think "move-counter-move" each time I say what I think about something.

I seriously anger you a lot, and have tried many times to be friendly, but I think my way of besting you in an argument is just too abhorrent to you.

Mothers deserve to be thanked... that's what Mother's Day is about... remember that debate? I won at the expense of your pride.

So I think it just makes you mad when I catch your cognitive dissonance. My mind is good at picking up on that kind of stuff.

 

[Rusha]

I didn't encourage destructive behavior, I'm an Asperger's sufferer who did everything *I* could to get him and you to cohabitate the forum peacefully.

Quit using that as an excuse for your encouragement of his bad behavior.

I eventually encouraged him to not speak to you, even when he felt like correcting misrepresentations of his character.

In your misrepresentation of the actual events, you seem to forget that unlike your friend, I and others actually have the curiosity and intelligence to use the quote feature. We use it in order to show EXACTLY what is being stated. It isn't the fault of others if someone doesn't express themselves well.

I didn't have him on a leash. So I'm not responsible for his destructive behaviors.

Oh really. Well, isn't that convenient. No one else had him on a leash either ... so by your own standard, we are not responsible for his destructive behaviors. It certainly hasn't stopped you from blaming us though, has it?

Too bad only moderators can confirm that. I'll just let you have the benefit of the doubt. I had nothing to do with that.

Are you claiming they (the moderators) are dishonest? OR are you asking me to post the PM's? IF you are doing the latter, it's not going to happen. PRIVATE means "not for the eyes of the forum members".

You missed the part where I advised against call-out threads. Because of me he stopped doing a lot of things. He was not instantly responsive, but I'm not a domineering harpie, either, so I didn't push him around - I just offered my opinion when I could.

:chuckle: Your very words and terms discredit you. FTR, you ARE a domineering harpie who just happens to harp at those who do not buy into your nonsense.

He was a victim at least at times. Like when he tried to passively read my threads and got taunted by A4T repeatedly.

Right ... because he NEVER made snide comments aimed at her in which words such as "feminazi" were used, right?

Evidence?

That would be ... on TOL. In the threads you participate in. It's obvious you have enough free time to look it up.

You blew things out of proportion.

Evidence?

He was never a threat to you. And his public verbal "attacks" were at least partially understandable from what I saw.

You state he was a threat to himself BUT no threat to those he was harassing? What planet are you from? Your understanding is from the viewpoint of "he is my friend so he can say and do whatever he likes".

 

[1PeaceMaker]

:chuckle: What you call *smothering* is an approach from a mature adult whose first priority is not validating her own relationship.

Being old doesn't make you mature. Unless you are just using it as a PC description of yourself. Mature isn't the word I'd use to describe the way you handled the Mother's Day debate we had.

I and others speak in *general* ... and you have taken it personally because you see yourself as one of those young, immature teens.

No, you speak of making the *general* into legal cookie cutters which you place over all the young adults.

You are offended by the idea of measuring readiness for marriage by mental competency and physical maturity existing apart from a cookie-cutter number.

You also say the dumbest things like older men only marry younger woman to manipulate. (wait, I'm thinking of your clone, A4T, again, aren't I?) Shall I find a quote or two of your generalized insults? Maybe that would clear things up a bit.

:Since you are not considered the voice of sanity, logic, wisdom or MATURITY on any topic, feel free to "keep going".

Liking the attention, are you?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Quit using that as an excuse for your encouragement of his bad behavior.



In your misrepresentation of the actual events, you seem to forget that unlike your friend, I and others actually have the curiosity and intelligence to use the quote feature. We use it in order to show EXACTLY what is being stated. It isn't the fault of others if someone doesn't express themselves well.



Oh really. Well, isn't that convenient. No one else had him on a leash either ... so by your own standard, we are not responsible for his destructive behaviors. It certainly hasn't stopped you from blaming us though, has it?



Are you claiming they (the moderators) are dishonest? OR are you asking me to post the PM's? IF you are doing the latter, it's not going to happen. PRIVATE means "not for the eyes of the forum members".



:chuckle: Your very words and terms discredit you. FTR, you ARE a domineering harpie who just happens to harp at those who do not buy into your nonsense.



Right ... because he NEVER made snide comments aimed at her in which words such as "feminazi" were used, right?



That would be ... on TOL. In the threads you participate in. It's obvious you have enough free time to look it up.



Evidence?



You state he was a threat to himself BUT no threat to those he was harassing? What planet are you from? Your understanding is from the viewpoint of "he is my friend so he can say and do whatever he likes".

Rusha, you have problems. I don't want to encourage you to further meltdown so you just have your revisionist history how you want it. Don't expect me to agree.

You remember things your way, I remember them my way. Why don't we agree to disagree, since it was never my place to babysit him or you? Most people think there was too much drama going on for both sides.

I personally just spoke up here and said my piece because I disagree and remember things differently than you, and felt your representation of him as a creep was wrong. If you can't handle that - it's not my problem.

 

[meshak]

Rusha, dear,

You need to let go of your anger and holding grudge forever.

I don't agree with 1peacemaker and her husband in the faith.

But I told them my position and that's the end of it.

Why are you keeping the past forever alive?

I am with 1peacemake with this one because you are showing the same kind of behavior with me over and over.

You need anger management class, dear.

You need to let go of your anger.

peace.

 

[Angel4Truth]

You also say the dumbest things like older men only marry younger woman to manipulate. (wait, I'm thinking of your clone, A4T, again, aren't I?) Shall I find a quote or two of your generalized insults? Maybe that would clear things up a bit.

Quote me saying that lie in bold you just accused me of.

While you are at it, stop thinking of me. You like to trash me while im not here don't you coward. Then when i demand you back your lies, you vanish till i am not here and you can lie some more.

Quote me, since you claim i said that.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

The only reason a man would want to marry someone so young is because they are much easier to manipulate than adult women. Oh. And then there is that ego thing.

Oh, look! It wasn't your clone.

FYI, clone may be a little harsh, even though you two get blurred in my mind. You aren't neg repping me every other day. Sometimes for stuff written ages ago.

 

[Angel4Truth]

So you say all this to strangers/newbs without proving your claim?

Yes, he was a man with suicidal depression. There, I said it. And that's why I defended him from slander.

I saw him try to keep up with his friends and debates on here by lurking on threads we participated in for many months and that's not stalking, that's a perfectly acceptable behavior.

However, on the threads I debated, A4T kept hating on him when he didn't post. It was weird. She was not letting anything go.

It's no trade secret A4T wouldn't even let him lurk on MY threads without taunting him.

It's no secret to me or God that some are supporting lies about BOLCATS - because he's not the man some claim he is.

We all know how Voltaire would be reacting right now. Not as calmly, that's for sure. So unless he borrowed someone else's psyche or marriage is way more potent than I ever dreamed it was.... (I hope he's married by now!) it clearly aint the same man.

I didn't encourage destructive behavior, I'm an Asperger's sufferer who did everything *I* could to get him and you to cohabitate the forum peacefully.

I eventually encouraged him to not speak to you, even when he felt like correcting misrepresentations of his character.

I didn't have him on a leash. So I'm not responsible for his destructive behaviors.



Too bad only moderators can confirm that. I'll just let you have the benefit of the doubt. I had nothing to do with that.



You missed the part where I advised against call-out threads. Because of me he stopped doing a lot of things. He was not instantly responsive, but I'm not a domineering harpie, either, so I didn't push him around - I just offered my opinion when I could.



He was a victim at least at times. Like when he tried to passively read my threads and got taunted by A4T repeatedly.



Evidence?



You blew things out of proportion. He was never a threat to you. And his public verbal "attacks" were at least partially understandable from what I saw.

All lies, and most of this board already know it. I deliberately spoke not a word to the man for over 8 months and instead reported each time he spoke to and about me so the staff here could see clearly what he was doing.

He threatened rusha, me and anna and made numerous call out threads - one of which happened when i was away from tol for a whole month. I came back to see my name in lights along with Rusha and Annas.

You are as much a nutter as he is. Stop hiding him under your skirt, its weird how your husband allows you to mother another man.

Anyone who can see the woodshed, knows exactly what was happening.

Its clear to anyone who your new skirt buddy is, by your over defense of someone you claim not to know and your insistance on bringing all this out again.

Both of you, get a life already.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Quote me saying that lie in bold you just accused me of.

While you are at it, stop thinking of me. You like to trash me while i not here don't you coward. Then when i demand you back your lies, you vanish till i am not here and you can lie some more.

Quote me, since you claim i said that.

I asked if it was you instead of her. That's not a claim so there's the lie, it's what you did.

I don't rep stalk YOU you've got things backwards. You come up only when it makes sense. I avoid you for the most part.

 

[Rusha]

Being old doesn't make you mature.

And marrying young at the first prospect and encouraging others to do the same does not make you mature, intelligent or desirable. It will be interesting to see how you handle hitting middle age though. :chuckle:

Unless you are just using it as a PC description of yourself. Mature isn't the word I'd use to describe the way you handled the Mother's Day debate we had.

Of course you wouldn't because I speak to you as I would an unruly, know it all teenager.

No, you speak of making the *general* into legal cookie cutters which you place over all the young adults.

Adults? As in UNDERAGE minors in their teen years? Right.

You are offended by the idea of measuring readiness for marriage by mental competency and physical maturity existing apart from a cookie-cutter number.

I am offended that you think so little of these teen girls that would encourage them to marry the first taker and refer to it as "teen love".

You also say the dumbest things like older men only marry younger woman to manipulate. (wait, I'm thinking of your clone, A4T, again, aren't I?) Shall I find a quote or two of your generalized insults? Maybe that would clear things up a bit.

A4T is certainly not my clone ... she is a friend whose value system is far superior to that of your own.

Yes, older men and OLD men marry young girls or much younger women due to ego. Older women marry young boys or much younger men for THEIR ego.

Do you consult grade schoolers or teenagers in regards to your finances? Health? Marital advice? Would you trust a teenager to take care of your children for an EXTENDED period of time rather than a few hours or day?

Liking the attention, are you?

You enjoy projecting, don't you?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

All lies, and most of this board already know it. I deliberately spoke not a word to the man for over 8 months and instead reported each time he spoke to and about me so the staff here could see clearly what he was doing.

He threatened rusha, me and anna and made numerous call out threads - one of which happened when i was away from tol for a whole month. I came back to see my name in lights along with Rusha and Annas.

You are as much a nutter as he is. Stop hiding him under your skirt, its weird how your husband allows you to mother another man.

Anyone who can see the woodshed, knows exactly what was happening.

Its clear to anyone who your new skirt buddy is, by your over defense of someone you claim not to know and your insistance on bringing all this out again.

Both of you, get a life already.

Are you saying you don't remember harassing him while he was ignoring you?

I remember quite well. Here's an example.

:wave: hi dolo, whats the view like from behind 1pms skirt?

 

[Angel4Truth]

Oh, look! It wasn't your clone.

FYI, clone may be a little harsh, even though you two get blurred in my mind. You aren't neg repping me every other day. Sometimes for stuff written ages ago.

I dont see an apology for your lie about me, but whats new, you knew it was a lie when you said it.

Habitual liar = you

You remember your buddys harrassment the same way you remember everything, blurred in your mind, or just deliberate lies and trying to make a weak excuse.

 

[Angel4Truth]

I asked if it was you instead of her. That's not a claim so there's the lie, it's what you did.

no you didnt ask, you accused, i love you showing what a liar you are, please continue talking.

I don't rep stalk YOU you've got things backwards. You come up only when it makes sense. I avoid you for the most part.

Its not my fault you make so many outrageous lies and statements that you get negged a lot.