Judgmental? I'm a recovering addict myself, 29+ years of continuous sobriety and clean time, I've been to thousands of 12 step meetings. Thoughts of suicide are familiar to me when I'm feeling sorry for myself........but then I go to Golgotha, stand at the foot of the cross and tell Jesus how hard my path is.....oh, never mind :granite:
I'm frankly mad at RW for leaving the program, destroying himself and hurting others all due to the black hole of self centeredness that IS the addictive personality!!!
This is a direct quote from the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" that was written in 1934 and has saved millions of drunks, addicts, sex addicts, food addicts, gambling addicts etc from self destruction:
"Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom."