Why men won't marry you

[elohiym]

I do have an answer, but whybother postingsomething youage going to disagree with? I thought it would be more interesting to ask you to think about your 7 miss and wife. Each one of them is unique. But a spouse is something special.

I'm not the one claiming my love for my wife is conditional. You are.

Tru harder.

It's your claim to defend, not mine.

I will give you the sorry answer for now: I expect her to be my wife.

She is your wife. You will have to elaborate.

Yes. Can you?

No.

I'm on my phone so you will have to think a bit before I'm in a place where I cab elaborate.

I'll think something while I wait for you to answer.

 

[serpentdove]

[Hitting a woman] What? You wouldn't defend yourself if a woman attacked you?

It's an obvious statement with which every gentleman would agree.

 

[Yorzhik]

It's an obvious statement with which every gentleman would agree.

Then you'd agree that if one never hits a woman, but a woman initiates physical violence, then she's no longer a woman.

So why did you write the divisive, accusatory, and judgmental statement, "Is that your excuse to hit a woman?"?

 

[elohiym]

I'll think something while I wait for you to answer.

I'm still thinking it.

 

[CabinetMaker]

I'm still thinking it.

And what have you been thinking?

 

[elohiym]

And what have you been thinking?

I'm thinking that you're stalling and don't have a good answer.

 

[CabinetMaker]

I'm thinking that you're stalling and don't have a good answer.

It's quite obvious that did not think about it all.

 

[elohiym]

It's quite obvious that did not think about it all.

No, I've thought about whether or not my love for my wife is conditional, and I cannot imagine a reason why it would be. Already gave you that answer. You, on the other hand, believe your love for wife is conditional. So how is your love conditional exactly?

 

[CabinetMaker]

Then you'd agree that if one never hits a woman, but a woman initiates physical violence, then she's no longer a woman.

I would never agree with such poorly formed logic and reasoning. Just because a woman is moved to a physical response doesn't mean she ceases to be a woman. Indeed, the "attack" may be warented in ce train circumstances.

 

[CabinetMaker]

No, I've thought about whether or not my love for my wife is conditional, and I cannot imagine a reason why it would be. Already gave you that answer. You, on the other hand, believe your love for wife is conditional. So how is your love conditional exactly?

Our love for our spouses is conditional. We love them on the condition that they love us back. A spouse may cease to love the other because of abuse or drinking or drugs or affairs or neglect. Spouses choose each other unlike children who have no choice as to who their parents are. We raise our kids from newborn to adult and that is a completely different relationship than a husband and wife.

We meet our spouses much later in life. We get to know them and fall in love with each other. It is a relationship that requires constant work. It may not feel like work, but it does take effort to keep the relationship with your spouse vibrant. And they need to reciprocate. When they don't, love slowly starts to die, piece by piece. We love our spouses on the condition that they love us back.

 

[elohiym]

Our love for our spouses is conditional. We love them on the condition that they love us back.

How are you defining love there?

A spouse may cease to love the other because of abuse or drinking or drugs or affairs or neglect.

A child may cease to love a parent because of abuse or drinking or drugs or affairs or neglect, right?

Spouses choose each other unlike children who have no choice as to who their parents are.

My perspective: God chose my spouse; I agreed with His choice.

We raise our kids from newborn to adult and that is a completely different relationship than a husband and wife.

It is part of the husband and wife relationship. If for no other reason, my unconditional, everlasting love for my wife is based on the fact she carried our children in her womb for nine months and then invested even more time breastfeeding, changing diapers and "loving on my babies" as only a mother can. Frankly, if she could stop loving me, I wouldn't stop loving her because she is the mother of my children.

We meet our spouses much later in life. We get to know them and fall in love with each other. It is a relationship that requires constant work. It may not feel like work, but it does take effort to keep the relationship with your spouse vibrant. And they need to reciprocate. When they don't, love slowly starts to die, piece by piece.

I'm skeptical of your conclusion.

If your wife passes away, will you love her less since she can't reciprocate? I don't think so. The love you still feel then, when there is no sex, no talking, no "fun" of any kind together, that's the unconditional love I'm talking about.

 

[Arthur Brain]

What you are implying is that even a woman in a truly loving relationship can feel attracted in an intimate way to somebody else. Is the same possible for a man?

There I gave you an example involving adultery, a sin. In that case you can imagine the woman truly loved her husband even though she commits indiscretions during a tough spot in the relationship.

Since polygamy is about marriage and isn't a sin, you should also be able to imagine how a husband who truly loves his wife can feel attracted in an intimate way to somebody else that is legitimately his wife.

It could be possible for anyone I would wager, but if it's really a loving relationship then those attractions won't be acted on or regretted at least if they are during a 'tough spot'. So no, I don't get how someone could have intimate relations with another person if they truly loved their partner no matter how you couch it.

I wouldn't make a generalized claim like that, and wouldn't promote the notion. For some people it may be a healthy thing, as healthy as one wife I suppose.

Is it acceptable for women to have multiple husbands?

Maybe one day it will make sense to you why some people do.

Nah.

 

[elohiym]

It could be possible for anyone I would wager, but if it's really a loving relationship then those attractions won't be acted on or regretted at least if they are during a 'tough spot'. So no, I don't get how someone could have intimate relations with another person if they truly loved their partner no matter how you couch it.

It seems like you are implying that if a person commits adultery they never truly loved their spouse they cheated on. Forgiveness, then, would only start a new relationship where maybe it would be "true love" this time.

I don't even know what you mean by love, Arthur.

Is it acceptable for women to have multiple husbands?

Seems contrary to our design and inclinations, doesn't it?

Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife?
Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife and husband?

 

[Arthur Brain]

It seems like you are implying that if a person commits adultery they never truly loved their spouse they cheated on. Forgiveness, then, would only start a new relationship where maybe it would be "true love" this time.

I don't even know what you mean by love, Arthur.

I think if you truly love someone then that's the person you're committed to, through the good times and the bad. As humans we can all mess up but if you honestly love the person you're with you wouldn't be seeking intimacy elsewhere.

Seems contrary to our design and inclinations, doesn't it?

Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife?
Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife and husband?

So you think it's okay for a man to have multiple wives but not for a woman to have multiple husbands? You're not seeing a double standard at all there? Polygamy of any sort seems contrary to most people's design and inclinations so what of that?

 

[CabinetMaker]

How are you defining love there?

I'm not playing any word games. If you really need a definition of love, you've gift bigger issues.

A child may cease to love a parent because of abuse or drinking or drugs or affairs or neglect, right?

They might. But note, I was talking about a parents love for a child.

My perspective: God chose my spouse; I agreed with His choice.

Sorry, I forget you are essentially a Calvinist.

It is part of the husband and wife relationship. If for no other reason, my unconditional, everlasting love for my wife is based on the fact she carried our children in her womb for nine months and then invested even more time breastfeeding, changing diapers and "loving on my babies" as only a mother can. Frankly, if she could stop loving me, I wouldn't stop loving her because she is the mother of my children.

Nice sentiments. I hope they are never tested.

I'm skeptical of your conclusion.

You should learn from it as I know first hand of what I speak.

If your wife passes away, will you love her less since she can't reciprocate? I don't think so. The love you still feel then, when there is no sex, no talking, no "fun" of any kind together, that's the unconditional love I'm talking about.

I hope you see how poorly formed your reasoning Is here. A death is entirely different than a living spouse who uses and abuses you. When our spouse dies our emotions tend to lock in on whatever they were at the time. A living spouse behaving as outlined above generally results in a completely different outcome. Sadly, there are a great many cases of marriages that start out well and end in murder. Why do you think that happens.

 

[serpentdove]

[Real men don't hit women] Then you'd agree that if one never hits a woman, but a woman initiates physical violence, then she's no longer a woman...

Do you hit women?

 

[serpentdove]

I would never agree with such poorly formed logic and reasoning. Just because a woman is moved to a physical response doesn't mean she ceases to be a woman. Indeed, the "attack" may be warented in ce train circumstances.

Women fought K: to be treated dishonorably--and so they are. If a woman has an explosive device :CRASH: strapped to her body--sure, take her out. That is not the norm. Pr 31

 

[Yorzhik]

I would never agree with such poorly formed logic and reasoning. Just because a woman is moved to a physical response doesn't mean she ceases to be a woman. Indeed, the "attack" may be warented in ce train circumstances.

The fault was with the initial premise that "men don't hit women." That blanket statement is wrong because of the prevalence of women initiating violence. In fact, my statement was merely trying to correct the poorly worded statement I was responding to.

pro-tip: "initiating" in front of the word "violence" means the violence is unwarranted to start with.

 

[Yorzhik]

Do you hit women?

There’s a Texas tale of hard-ball politics that dates to one of Lyndon Johnson’s first campaigns. Lyndon was the underdog against a well-liked and respectable incumbent who was the odds-on favorite to win (there were no polls in those days). At a strategy session Johnson instructed his staff to spread the rumor that the opponent had a proclivity for sex with animals, pigs in particular. “My God, we can’t say that,” protested a staffer, “it couldn’t possibly be true!” “I know,” said Lyndon, "but let’s make him deny it."

Do you mean to be this divisive? Or do you not realize my statement and your statement "If a woman has an explosive device strapped to her body--sure, take her out." are the same? Does it have to be an explosive device? How about "coming at you with a hammer"? would that be enough reason to respond with violence?

 

[elohiym]

I think if you truly love someone then that's the person you're committed to, through the good times and the bad. As humans we can all mess up but if you honestly love the person you're with you wouldn't be seeking intimacy elsewhere.

Then I understood you correctly.

So you think it's okay for a man to have multiple wives but not for a woman to have multiple husbands?

Seems contrary to our design and inclinations, doesn't it?

You're not seeing a double standard at all there?

We're discussing that. I asked you some questions:

Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife?
Is it acceptable for a woman to have a wife and husband simultaneously?

Polygamy of any sort seems contrary to most people's design and inclinations so what of that?

Polygamy and the evolution of human longevity.

An alternative to previous explanations of the rapid increase in man's longevity and intelligence during the several million years of his recent evolution from pre-hominid, clearly shorter-lived and less intelligent, primate ancestors is presented. The general thesis is that a very greatly accelerated rate of incorporation of favorable genes or gene combinations can be achieved in surprisingly few generations among social animals provided that dominant males become the patriarchs of many descendents by virtue of their partial or complete monopoly on available females.​

The evidence of polygamy is in our genes.