MARRIAGE ADVICE

[6days]

Wash your face in the morning...... and neck at night.(You might need to think about it... or say it out loud I had to explain it to my married daughters )

That's not much of a discussion piece...but hopefully it gives you a smile.

Perhaps add your own 'advice'.

 

[patrick jane]

Wash your face in the morning...... and neck at night.(You might need to think about it... or say it out loud I had to explain it to my married daughters )

That's not much of a discussion piece...but hopefully it gives you a smile.

Perhaps add your own 'advice'.

And brush your teeth !!! :rapture:

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

The man is the head of the family.
The wife is the neck.
The neck is the part that turns the head.
​

AMR

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

When your wife says "What?" she is not deaf, but merely giving you a chance to change what you just said.

AMR

 

[elohiym]

Be fruitful and multiply.

Be completely honest: trust is the most important thing you have.

Be loving parents and you will have something better than social security in your old age.

 

[elohiym]

Shel Silverstein had some good marital advice, too:

Never bite a married woman on the thigh oh my
Cause she just can't rub it off no matter how she'll try
And when she gets home at night her man will ask her why
Then she'll say it's just a birthmark or some other silly lie
But he'll get suspicious and then he will start to pry
Then she'll get hysterical and she will start to cry
And he'll say I don't blame you but tell me who's the guy
So she'll admit to everything and he will say bye-bye
And he'll buy an airline ticket and he'll fly across the sky
And then he'll come and find you and he'll punch you in the eye
Then he'll rent a cheap hotel room and he'll hang himself with his tie
And when she gets the news she'll take an overdose of sleeping
Tablets and she's gonna lie on the couch and die
So never never never never never never never bite a married woman on the thigh​

In other words, don't cheat!

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

More seriously...

Never forget that the marital oath includes a promise. Keep them both.

AMR

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

Don't be this couple:

View attachment 21459
Click to enlarge​

AMR

 

[Danoh]

Be honest when you screw up. Your spouse might be angry at first. But over time it earns you a respect and admiration "not to be repented of," a respect and admiration you will be glad is in place; that will serve you both in good stead during other trying times.

 

[Ask Mr. Religion]

In the early days of my marriage, now thirty four years strong, I would rarely come home for lunch, despite my wife's pleading to break up the occasional monotony of her day with our small and demanding child.

So on one one occasion I announced as I left for work that I would be home for lunch. As I entered the front door that afternoon, I heard my my call out from the kitchen, "Guess what you're having for lunch today!" While fumbling with my overcoat, I sardonically sighed loudly in answer, "Gheez, I probably had that for lunch yesterday at work."

In response, my wife called out, "Well, if you did, you need not take off that overcoat and just go back to work."

It was then that looked up to see the woman who still makes me want to be a better man standing there wearing nothing but an apron.

Lesson to self learned on that day: Come home for lunch more often.

AMR

 

[Danoh]

In the early days of my marriage, now thirty four years strong, I would rarely come home for lunch, despite my wife's pleading to break up the occasional monotony of her day with our small and demanding child.

So on one one occasion I announced as I left for work that I would be home for lunch. As I entered the front door that afternoon, I heard my my call out from the kitchen, "Guess what you're having for lunch today!" While fumbling with my overcoat, I sardonically sighed loudly in answer, "Gheez, I probably had that for lunch yesterday at work."

In response, my wife called out, "Well, if you did, you need not take off that overcoat and just go back to work."

It was then that looked up to see the woman who still makes me want to be a better man standing there wearing nothing but an apron.

Lesson to self learned on that day: Come home for lunch more often.

AMR

TMI...

 

[intojoy]

When man talks woman shuts up

 

[6days]

And brush your teeth !!! :rapture:

Good advice... but im not sure you caught joke in OP?

 

[chrysostom]

don't give up

 

[theophilus]

Woman's perspective...

Woman's perspective...

Commit your marriage to the King of Glory.
Pray together.
Worship together.
Read your bibles together.
Serve one another.
Put the other first.
Sing together.
Be friends.
Be lovers.
Fight fair.
Kiss and make up every time.
Trust one another.
Wash each other's feet.
Have fun together.
If you have a problem take it to your spouse and NOT your friends. Also take it to the Lord together.
Be able to say, "I'm sorry."
Be able to say, "I was wrong."
Be able to say, "You were right."
Tell each other you love each other EVERY day.
Don't use your children as weapons - they are your heritage from the Lord.
Men...romance your bride.
Women...regularly seduce your groom.
Forgive the other first.
Give all.
Don't keep score.
Love one another deeply, from the heart.
Take time for each other.
Praise each other sincerely.
Do the dishes.
Share the remote.

 

[chrysostom]

children who are more important than you

 

[TulipBee]

The man is the head of the family.
The wife is the neck.
The neck is the part that turns the head.
​

AMR

The chest turns the neck

 

[TulipBee]

When man talks woman shuts up

My wife and I talk at the same time

 

[theophilus]

My wife and I talk at the same time

Do you listen together, too?

 

[TulipBee]

Do you listen together, too?

And that too. We cut the time in half and move on