Why men won't marry you

[1PeaceMaker]

Not always. And if having financial independence is so unsettling to you go ahead and stay poor, frankly.

Give an example where divorce was not the product of a hard heart.

And who says I'm not supportive of financial independence?

 

[Granite]

Give an example where divorce was not the product of a hard heart.

And who says I'm not supportive of financial independence?

It's called "life," my dear, something you're consistently both naive and clueless about. You might also find it filed under "everyone's situation is completely different."

 

[1PeaceMaker]

It's called "life," my dear, something you're consistently both naive and clueless about. You might also find it filed under "everyone's situation is completely different."

Don't wimp out. Life is full of examples of hard hearts ending marriage. Cheating, for example, is the result of a hard heart.

Trying to get financial control through divorce is the result of a hard heart.

 

[Granite]

Don't wimp out. Life is full of examples of hard hearts ending marriage. Cheating, for example, is the result of a hard heart.

Trying to get financial control through divorce is the result of a hard heart.

And examples where a "hard heart" didn't play a role. More broad brushes are available for sale at a hardware store near you.

 

[Rusha]

Not all teens are hard hearted or pick hard hearted spouses.

:chuckle: I wasn't speaking of teens. Then again, I believe that pushing teeny boppers to marry while they are still naive, immature and not prepared stems from a selfish motives. Must hurry and get em out of the house.

And the ones you can't reach and can't prevent from picking poorly, well, they're hard-hearted, so good luck holding them back, anyway.

Hard-hearted according to you ... those teens who act like teens and don't rush into marriage.

Holding them back, according to you, is encouraging teens to receive an actual EDUCATION so they are prepared for life and realize that they don't have to begin the rest of their life while they are in their early to mid teens.

 

[Rusha]

Give an example where divorce was not the product of a hard heart.

So everyone you know who is divorced has a "hard heart"?

 

[CabinetMaker]

Your perception of my point is flawed. I'm not arguing that all or even most should marry as young as I did. I did because it was right for me and I'm defending the years of marriage that produced 4 beautiful children and such priceless times for us as a couple. And if my kid wants to marry at 18, and eventually one of them will, I defend their right, too.

Why do you feel compelled to defend your choices? You did what you wanted and it worked. Nobody here, including me, has ever said you shouldn't have gotten married to an older man and had kids at such a young age. We acknowledge your family as an exception to the rule and we are happy for you. We may not agree with you on everything, but we are happy your marriage works. That said, I do not wee your success at what is a very risky proposition at best as sufficient evidence to encourage others to follow in your footsteps.

 

[CabinetMaker]

Divorce is the product of hard hearts. If education and employment influence divorce rates, that is only true among the hard-hearted.

And increasing prosperity only increases divorce rates, just as monetary advantage only increases abortion rates among young women..

An article published by by the Psych Central website indicates that when married women earn an independent income and have access to money of their own, the divorce rate drops as low as 20 percent.

So.... if we were into controlling divorce rates through laws, we would make a law that only women who have an independent income and access to money of their own can marry.

Not all teens are hard hearted or pick hard hearted spouses. And the ones you can't reach and can't prevent from picking poorly, well, they're hard-hearted, so good luck holding them back, anyway.

One of the leading causes of divorce in this country is stress over money. Your studies indicate that when there is enough money to feel secure, people are more likely to stay married. When there is not enough money the amount of stress caused is enough to destroy a marriage. I agree with Rusha, being financially stable, which is not the same thing as being rich, is important to accomplish before getting married.

You and your husband did exactly that. You short cutted the process by marrying a man who was already financially stable.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

One of the leading causes of divorce in this country is stress over money. Your studies indicate that when there is enough money to feel secure, people are more likely to stay married. When there is not enough money the amount of stress caused is enough to destroy a marriage. I agree with Rusha, being financially stable, which is not the same thing as being rich, is important to accomplish before getting married.

You and your husband did exactly that. You short cutted the process by marrying a man who was already financially stable.

When the country prospers divorce rates rise. That's what studies show. It gives hard hearted people more mobility. People fight over money whether there's more or less. The less they talk and fight over finances, the less they divorce. But the more there is to fight over the more they fight.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

So everyone you know who is divorced has a "hard heart"?

Divorce or the actions leading to it spring from a hard heart. It only takes one to ruin a union. That's why God instituted divorce.

 

[Granite]

Divorce or the actions leading to it spring from a hard heart. It only takes one to ruin a union. That's why God instituted divorce.

Well I'm glad we have an in-house expert around to explain these things to we the little people.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Why do you feel compelled to defend your choices?

I defend human rights. I do it because I promote peace. We can't have peace without respecting one another.

You can't alienate everyone who married below 25 and have peace. You can't dis the kids of the young and say it's preferable if the path that brought them here were passed over in favor of a more affluent lifestyle with fewer or no kids. It just won't work.

You did what you wanted and it worked. Nobody here, including me, has ever said you shouldn't have gotten married to an older man and had kids at such a young age. We acknowledge your family as an exception to the rule and we are happy for you. We may not agree with you on everything, but we are happy your marriage works. That said, I do not wee your success at what is a very risky proposition at best as sufficient evidence to encourage others to follow in your footsteps.

I'm not encouraging others to follow me. I wasn't following anyone who told me young marriage was best - but the fact that it worked for me should at least garner some respect for the relationships that work or that can work.

I would hope that every young adult consider marriage to be one of the most serious decisions of their lives. And I think that most do. That's why most are dissuaded from marrying at a very young age and when they do, they are given good support and counsel, if they are wise, because that's what they surrounded themselves with.

Some will make a mistake who marry young. Maybe it wasn't so much the marriage that was the mistake as the attitude that leads to it's dissolution.

The attitudes of the spouses are, after all, what determine the viability of the relationship.

 

[CabinetMaker]

When the country prospers divorce rates rise. That's what studies show. It gives hard hearted people more mobility. People fight over money whether there's more or less. The less they talk and fight over finances, the less they divorce. But the more there is to fight over the more they fight.

None of which changes anything i said. One of hte leading causes of divorce is financial stress.

 

[Granite]

None of which changes anything i said. One of hte leading causes of divorce is financial stress.

Abortion as well, for that matter.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Well I'm glad we have an in-house expert around to explain these things to we the little people.

Sorry if you feel my wording is condescending. It's not meant to.

Frankly, I think you are just a little disgruntled you can't come up with a non-hard-heart-related divorce scenario.

 

[Granite]

Sorry if you feel my wording is condescending. It's not meant to.

Frankly, I think you are just a little disgruntled you can't come up with a non-hard-heart-related divorce scenario.

Sure I can. But we can go back and forth all day with my anecdotal evidence versus yours and waste our time or you can hopefully realize you're deeply naive and leave it at that.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Trying to talk to you's often like dealing with a teenager who thinks they have the entire world figured out.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Abortion as well, for that matter.

Actually single women from the highest income bracket are 4 times more likely to abort than lower income women. So there goes that theory. And when an economy rises, so do divorce rates. So what does that tell you?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Sure I can. But we can go back and forth all day with my anecdotal evidence versus yours and waste our time or you can hopefully realize you're deeply naive and leave it at that.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Trying to talk to you's often like dealing with a teenager who thinks they have the entire world figured out.

Come on, out with the anecdote.

 

[Granite]

Actually single women from the highest income bracket are 4 times more likely to abort than lower income women. So there goes that theory. And when an economy rises, so do divorce rates. So what does that tell you?

It tells me you should try to trouble yourself with facts and stop being a clueless know it all.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-01-20-abortion_N.htm

http://womensissues.about.com/od/reproductiverights/a/AbortionReasons.htm

http://prochoice.org/wp-content/uploads/women_who_have_abortions.pdf

 

[1PeaceMaker]

:chuckle: I wasn't speaking of teens. Then again, I believe that pushing teeny boppers to marry while they are still naive, immature and not prepared stems from a selfish motives. Must hurry and get em out of the house.



Hard-hearted according to you ... those teens who act like teens and don't rush into marriage.

Holding them back, according to you, is encouraging teens to receive an actual EDUCATION so they are prepared for life and realize that they don't have to begin the rest of their life while they are in their early to mid teens.

You are acting nuts again.

It's not hard-hearted to wait.

My teens are headed for college, unless they change their minds, which I have no intention of helping them do. You are just poisoning the well.