Why men won't marry you

[CabinetMaker]

A CDC quote is what you are arguing with. I'll box it for you.

Given what Susan G Komen is and does, they have VERY reliable data regarding breast cancer. I trust their research as accurate. They served us well when treating my wife.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

You assume they were united in the first place. Instead I recommend that the baby goes to a family with a mom and a dad.

Nooo.... I'm saying that the child has the mother and I'm shocked you would take the mother away. That's a MORE messed up scenario.

Most teen fathers are not around. The completely abandon their pregnant girl friend. Not what God intended but there it is. A cold hard fact. God intended mother and child to be together. But then God intended that married couples have babies. Single teen mothers don't have that, do they. There are times in life where a mother giving up her child to adoption is the best thing for both the mother and child. It gives the child a home that they can grow up in safely and well loved (we hope) and it gives the mother a chance to grow up and become a woman better prepared to care for her future children (we hope).

So should widows give up their children or single older moms?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Women who give birth to their first child at age 35 or younger tend to get a protective benefit from pregnancy.

Do you really think the woman who has her first baby at 35 really has as much cancer protection as the same cancer protection as the woman who has her 7th at that age?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Lack of fear of God (Pr 9:10). When she enters into a covenant, God expects her to keep her vow (Matt. 19:5) until death (Rom. 7:2, 3). If she tosses her husband out like a piece of garbage and

marries another, she has made herself adulteress (Lk 16:18A). She has made

her husband an adulterer (Lk 16:18B).

A catch :idunno: damaged goods Lk 16:18

opcorn: One will catch God's attention for disobedience (Heb 13:4). :burnlib:

Is 5:20, Mt 19:6

Plot twists :idunno: serial adultery Heb 13:4

See:

Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper by John Piper

I wasn't addressing the morality of divorce.

I was addressing the people behind the statistics.

 

[CabinetMaker]

Do you really think the woman who has her first baby at 35 really has as much cancer protection as the same cancer protection as the woman who has her 7th at that age?

According to my link, no. There is a reduced risk for women who have more than one pregnancy. According to Elo's link, for pregnancy less than age 20, there may be some additional reduction. Is that reduction significant enough to justify teen moms? Not for our family.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Seems to me you have shown that younger women see marriage as more disposable if it doesn't live up to their dreams.

I'm not promoting what they do, just observing. The values a woman has will influence not only who she chooses but also what she does about the troubles that come up along the way. In this culture divorce is the way people think to deal with certain marital troubles.

Unless they feel that they are now stranded.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

According to my link, no. There is a reduced risk for women who have more than one pregnancy. According to Elo's link, for pregnancy less than age 20, there may be some additional reduction. Is that reduction significant enough to justify teen moms? Not for our family.

How big would the cancer reduction have to be?

 

[CabinetMaker]

Nooo.... I'm saying that the child has the mother and I'm shocked you would take the mother away. That's a MORE messed up scenario.

I'm saying a child needs a mother and a father. I'm surprised you think kids don't need a father too.

So should widows give up their children or single older moms?

And there you go moving the goal posts right out of the stadium again. We were talking about a 15 year old. Please make an attempt to stay on topic.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

No. She should give the child up for adoption.

Don't you think that's cruel?

What about if the teen was raped? Would you also take her child? Trouble on top of trouble!

Don't you think one parent is better than none, and don't you think, if rape is not a factor, that the two parents should unite and raise the child with grandparental supervision until they reach their early to mid twenties? No?

You picked a very surprising reaction to the situation.

 

[CabinetMaker]

How big would the cancer reduction have to be?

Given the statistics for failed marriages for young brides, it would have to be 100% or better. I would rather my daughters build a relationship based on love and friendship, mutual respect and trust rather than remote risks to health.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I'm saying a child needs a mother and a father. I'm surprised you think kids don't need a father too.

A young bride could be pregnant and lose her spouse. A young couple could get married, even in their teens and at least try.

Are you saying the actual mother, in her home with her own parents, breastfeeding and raising the child is worth less than two artificial parents?

And there you go moving the goal posts right out of the stadium again. We were talking about a 15 year old. Please make an attempt to stay on topic.

No, actually, if you wouldn't deny a child of an adult a single parent, then why start on children of teen mothers?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Given the statistics for failed marriages for young brides, it would have to be 100% or better. I would rather my daughters build a relationship based on love and friendship, mutual respect and trust rather than remote risks to health.

I hope nobody would just have a child for health risk reduction. But most people have a loving heart and complex motives.

Still, your reaction is interesting.

You and your current wife waited a long time to have babies after marrying in your mid-twenties. Do you regret that, knowing it might have prevented cancer?

For me, I see a sign from God. Women having more babies and earlier don't just prevent breast cancer, they prevent ovarian cancer, fibroids, and statistically speaking, reduce other forms of hormone related suffering as well.

God wouldn't set us up that way without a reason.

 

[CabinetMaker]

Don't you think that's cruel?

What about if the teen was raped? Would you also take her child? Trouble on top of trouble!

Don't you think one parent is better than none, and don't you think, if rape is not a factor, that the two parents should unite and raise the child with grandparental supervision until they reach their early to mid twenties? No?

You picked a very surprising reaction to the situation.

I stand by it. Children having and raising children is not a good thing.

 

[CabinetMaker]

I hope nobody would just have a child for health risk reduction. But most people have a loving heart and complex motives.

Still, your reaction is interesting.

You and your current wife waited a long time to have babies after marrying in your mid-twenties. Do you regret that, knowing it might have prevented cancer?

Not for one second.

For me, I see a sign from God. Women having more babies and earlier don't just prevent breast cancer, they prevent ovarian cancer, fibroids, and statistically speaking, reduce other forms of hormone related suffering as well.

God wouldn't set us up that way without a reason.

Interestingly, those benifets are available to women as old as 35 to greater or lessor degree.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I stand by it. Children having and raising children is not a good thing.

What evil comes from young parents raising their child in a multi-generational home?

And when one or both parents love their child and want to be there for them, why do you think displacing the child from it's mother and/or father would make a bad situation better?

 

[CabinetMaker]

A young bride could be pregnant and lose her spouse. A young couple could get married, even in their teens and at least try.

Try and fail most likely. Why not wait a few years until they are more mature. I don't recall saying anything about widows. Again, this is about 15 year old pregnant teen, stay on topic.

Are you saying the actual mother, in her home with her own parents, breastfeeding and raising the child is worth less than two artificial parents?

I know several families that have adopted children. They are not artificial parents by any stretch of the imagination. You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such a thing.

No, actually, if you wouldn't deny a child of an adult a single parent, then why start on children of teen mothers?

Because a teen is not ready to raise a kid. You may have trained your kids to be ready to start pumping out babies at age 15 but most of your nighbors know that a 15 year ok'd hasn't even finished school yet and shouldn't be considering parenthood until they have actually become adults.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I stand by it. Children having and raising children is not a good thing.

God tells us what is good or not.

Why didn't God say to keep young adults/teens from having children when they were sexually mature but not yet twenty-something? He never discouraged teen marriage anywhere in the Bible.

So why doesn't God back you up, huh?

 

[CabinetMaker]

What evil comes from young parents raising their child in a multi-generational home?

None. IF it is a multi generational home.

And when one or both parents love their child and want to be there for them, why do you think displacing the child from it's mother and/or father would make a bad situation better?

It is their choice and I never said that I would force them to give up their child. If they want to raise their child, they will. Do I think its a good idea? Not generally. But I do say that putting a child up for adoption is a far better alternative than aborting it.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Try and fail most likely. Why not wait a few years until they are more mature. I don't recall saying anything about widows. Again, this is about 15 year old pregnant teen, stay on topic.

You mean 15-25. You said not until the early to mid-twenties should they raise a child.

I know several families that have adopted children. They are not artificial parents by any stretch of the imagination. You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such a thing.

Just because the love isn't artificial doesn't mean the situation is any less artificial. God put the baby in the womb of it's mother. Who would dare usurp what God has joined?

If I were given the opportunity to raise a child as an adoptive mother, I would not want to usurp the mother of my child. I would have to explain that God gave the child two sets of parents and that while tragedy kept them apart, as long as they are all alive, they are family and I wouldn't stop them from seeking out their mother when they were old enough, if I wasn't able to involve her or the father already, as much as I could.

Because a teen is not ready to raise a kid. You may have trained your kids to be ready to start pumping out babies at age 15 but most of your nighbors know that a 15 year ok'd hasn't even finished school yet and shouldn't be considering parenthood until they have actually become adults.

What I do with my own kids is not the discussion. My kids aren't that precocious.

If I had a 15 year old who was a young mom, even if she wasn't mature enough to raise her kid until he was 5 or more because she went and got pregnant behind my back, I still wouldn't rip them apart. I would work with what I had. I could raise them both together until she grew into her role as a mother.

 

[CabinetMaker]

God tells us what is good or not.

Why didn't God say to keep young adults/teens from having children when they were sexually mature but not yet twenty-something? He never discouraged teen marriage anywhere in the Bible.

So why doesn't God back you up, huh?

God does not tell us how to run every aspect of our life. He leaves us to figure things out. God doesn't tell us what age we have to be when we marry of fave babies because it is not important to our state of salvation. Besides, God knows that works for families 100, 500, 1000 or 2000 years ago is different from today. God hates divorce. Seems to me that if you love God you would want to avoid divorce. Marriages between people in their 20's and older have a better chance of avoiding divorce. Why wouldn't you want people to avoid something God clearly hates I favor of something that isn't even in scripture?