What is forgiveness?

glorydaz

Well-known member
So there is a child who does not know how to swim. She asks you to teach her. Instead of explaining how to go about swimming and showing her how to do it, would you just throw her off a pier? When she cries out for help, would you refuse and say, "Unless you can come to terms with not drowning, you'll never understand how to swim!"




If I were to try to jump in the water to save her, would you hold me back and say this? "She's starting to understand she must stay afloat! Let her learn from the struggle!"

Poor analogy. Swimming is a physical act that needs to be practiced and learned. Loving and forgiving are a matter of the heart. You can't practice or learn how to do either. You can learn how to make it look like you have achieved those...just as actors can make you think they are the character they play. But it's only skin deep, so to speak.
 

glorydaz

Well-known member
I'm trying to say those things I try to DO through my own diligent effort to forgive or love others, for example, have always been beyond my ability. I can say I love and say I forgive, and I can try really hard to muster that love and forgiveness up, but I will not succeed on the level God has in mind.

It's only when I give up, and admit to the Lord that I still fall short. It is then that He works a change on my heart that I would never be able to accomplish on my own. If it weren't that way, then I would be able to boast of how I was able to love and forgive. HE performs that work in me and I have NOTHING to boast over. I can't say I figured it out or I did thus and so and this is how I did it.

Yes, I apprehend, but I don't yet comprehend. When you say God empowers you to forgive, what exactly does he give you the power to think, say or do? Please explain the things this power helps you accomplish.

I would say this "power" is the Spirit's....the fruit of the Spirit (which sounds very similar to love is patient, kind, longsuffering....etc, doesn't it?

Gal. 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.​

This is not a fruit I produce or accomplish by my own doing, but what the Spirit produces in me. His fruit in me.

The peace I have is not something that is accomplished by me.....the longsuffering (patience) is not something I can muster up....neither is the joy. Those things are produced in us in many ways...even through various tribulations that the Lord allows to come upon us. Nothing gives us a clearer perspective than suffering.

Romans 5:3-4
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:​

So what do I think, do, and say in order to experience the forgiveness we are talking about here? I wait on the Lord, confident that He will perform a work on my heart. I thank the Lord that, in His good time, I will have nothing left to forgive. As far as the east is from the west they will be. Any hard feelings will be gone....they will vanish away, and any dwelling on ourselves and what we SHOULD be doing, isn't trusting Him to do those things in us. It boils down to a matter of looking to ourselves and trusting in ourselves instead of the Lord. That's never worked for me.
 

glorydaz

Well-known member
I'm not sure you have. But it is a common theme on TOL, and I did want to respond to it. If you weren't implying it, then consider yourself used, tangentially. :devil: Sorry.

Go ahead....use me and abuse me. :chuckle:
 

Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

I don't see the Bible quote as a "disagreement" so much as it being just somewhat inarticulate. Clearly, the quote is listing these manifestations of love so that we can recognize love both for, and from, others. The quote just doesn't bother to explain that love is the spiritual impetus for these manifestations rather than the manifestations, themselves. And that these manifestations could be the result of some other spiritual motive.

Paul was not a professional writer, after all. And this is still one of my favorite quotes from the Bible. Even if it was not articulated to the degree that it could have been.

So I suppose we should not take Paul's words too seriously, I think you are saying. He did not mean what he actually wrote, for what he wrote can easily be taken the wrong way. A less confusing interpretation of the truth might be this:

4 Love [causes one to be] patient, love [causes one to be] kind. It does not [cause one to] envy, it does not [cause one to] boast, it [cause one to be] proud. 5 It does not [cause one to] dishonor others, it [does not cause one to be] self-seeking, it [does not cause one to become] easily angered, it [causes one to] keep no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not [cause one to] delight in evil but [causes one to] rejoice with the truth. 7 It [causes one to] always protect, [causes one to] always trust, [causes one to] always hope, [causes one to] always persevere. 8 Love [causes one to] never fail.

(1 Corinthians 13)

Seems there are a lot of, "causes one to" we need to put in Paul's mouth to get his true meaning, I think. Don't you think so, too?
 
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Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

That's pretty near how I learned to swim at the age of fourteen, I jumped off the pier, and went under a few times, the teacher saw me panicking, so he jumped in and pulled me out.

Going under the water, helped me loose my fear of water, and I was swimming for the first time, minutes later.



There comes a stage with learning to swim, when you have to do something on your own, no more floating supports, no more people holding you.



I think it is very much the same with forgiving, you know the theory, you can ask for help and support, but at some point, you have to forgive on your own. it is your journey, nobody else can do it for you.



Like swimming, you will know when you have succeeded.


Yes, but will you know when you are drowning, or will you be oblivious to the unseen water keeping you from the breath of life?

The thing about self-deception is one who is drowning in it has no idea about her precarious state. One person believes she should only forgive those who repent, and never anyone who doesn't know they are in the wrong. Another believes forgiveness is completely trusting the unrepentant, regardless of what they have done. One believes forgiveness is not feeling anger while demanding restitution from the forgiven. Another believes it is staying angry, but never requiring any restitution. One is sure forgiveness is only what you feel, another is certain it is only what you do.

Which of these do you think forgiveness is?
 

Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

Poor analogy. Swimming is a physical act that needs to be practiced and learned. Loving and forgiving are a matter of the heart. You can't practice or learn how to do either. You can learn how to make it look like you have achieved those...just as actors can make you think they are the character they play. But it's only skin deep, so to speak.


Oh I don't know. It seems to me learning how to be patient and the other things Paul describes takes practice. Or are you no more patient today than when you were first saved? And are you just as selfish today as you were when you were first born again?

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

(1 Corinthians 13)
 

PureX

Well-known member
So I suppose we should not take Paul's words too seriously, I think you are saying. He did not mean what he wrote, for what he wrote is likely ambiguous, and can easily be taken the wrong way. A less confusing interpretation of the truth might be this:

4 Love [causes one to be] patient, love [causes one to be] kind. It does not [cause one to] envy, it does not [cause one to] boast, it [cause one to be] proud. 5 It does not [cause one to] dishonor others, it [does not cause one to be] self-seeking, it [does not cause one to become] easily angered, it [causes one to] keep no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not [cause one to] delight in evil but [causes one to] rejoice with the truth. 7 It [causes one to] always protect, [causes one to] always trust, [causes one to] always hope, [causes one to] always persevere. 8 Love [causes one to] never fail.

(1 Corinthians 13)

Seems there are a lot of, "causes one to" we need to put in Paul's mouth to get his true meaning, I think. Don't you think so, too?
I would have used the term "inspire".

"4 Love inspires patience. Love inspires kindness. Love does not inspire envy, nor cause one to boast, out of pride. 5 Love does not cause one to dishonor others, nor does it inspire self-seeking, so that we become easily angered, and keep a record of the wrongs of others. 6 Love does not inspire us to delight in evil but instead to rejoice with the truth. 7 Love inspires us to always protect, to always trust, to always hope, to always persevere. 8 It can never fail."

Men wrote the Bible. And they were as capable of inarticulate writing as anyone else. That doesn't discredit the Bible, only the false notion that it is magically inerrant and sacrosanct.
 

Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

I would have used the term "inspire".

"4 Love inspires patience. Love inspires kindness. Love does not inspire envy, nor cause one to boast, out of pride. 5 Love does not cause one to dishonor others, nor does it inspire self-seeking, so that we become easily angered, and keep a record of the wrongs of others. 6 Love does not inspire us to delight in evil but instead to rejoice with the truth. 7 Love inspires us to always protect, to always trust, to always hope, to always persevere. 8 It can never fail."

Men wrote the Bible. And they were as capable of inarticulate writing as anyone else. That doesn't discredit the Bible, only the false notion that it is magically inerrant and sacrosanct.


Yes, that is a good way to articulate your understanding of the text. Still, I don't think it's inaccurate to say the words, "Love is patient," and "Love inspires patience," don't carry the same meaning.

So please tell me what you think of the one who gave birth to the words. Would Paul agree with your understanding and thank you for clarifying his intended meaning? Or do you think he was in error on this point, and incorrectly thought that love really is patience, kindness, humility, calmness, unselfishness and the like?
 

Eric h

Well-known member
Yes, but will you know when you are drowning, or will you be oblivious to the unseen water keeping you from the breath of life?

I think the time I may have come close to drowning, I would describe it as not being in control. When I swim, I am in control and know where I am going.


One person believes she should only forgive those who repent, and never anyone who doesn't know they are in the wrong. Another believes forgiveness is completely trusting the unrepentant, regardless of what they have done. One believes forgiveness is not feeling anger while demanding restitution from the forgiven. Another believes it is staying angry, but never requiring any restitution. One is sure forgiveness is only what you feel, another is certain it is only what you do.

Which of these do you think forgiveness is

I have made bold the parts that I feel come closest to forgiveness, I am not sure that they are the same for all people.
 

PureX

Well-known member
Yes, that is a good way to articulate your understanding of the text. Still, I don't think it's inaccurate to say the words, "Love is patient," and "Love inspires patience," don't carry the same meaning.
But love isn't patience. Patience is patience. Love isn't kindness, kindness is kindness, and so on. So that there must be an analogy going on, here. Yet that analogy is not being clearly explained; only inferred. It's "poetic" text, in that way. Which is OK with me. Because I understand the difference between love and these various expressions of love. But not everyone does. And for those who don't this text can become a little bit misleading. Because as I pointed out, these traits can also be employed by those who are not doing so out of love. So that to say "love is patient" becomes an incomplete, or inaccurate statement. Evil can also be patient, for example, yet evil is not love, and love is not evil.
So please tell me what you think of the one who gave birth to the words. Would Paul agree with your understanding and thank you for clarifying his intended meaning? Or do you think he was in error on this point, and incorrectly thought that love really is patience, kindness, humility, calmness, unselfishness and the like?
Paul didn't write the words that we're discussing. He wrote in ancient Greek, I believe. That would have been translated into medieval latin, and then to old english, then to whatever we're reading, now. Something like that. So there's a lot of interpretation going on between Paul's mind and ours. Making it quite difficult for us to know whether Paul understood these kinds of nuances, or not.

And we'd have to know his personality to guess if he'd agree politely or disagree out of egotism and resentment. He was known to be quite a 'hothead', after all. :think:
 

glorydaz

Well-known member
Oh I don't know. It seems to me learning how to be patient and the other things Paul describes takes practice. Or are you no more patient today than when you were first saved? And are you just as selfish today as you were when you were first born again?

I'm more patient because I have learned to wait on the Lord and be content in whatsoever state I find myself. When trials and tribulations have come my way, I've learned there is nothing for me to do but TRUST IN THE LORD. That works patience in me. I can't practice up for that. It's not through my actively working at being patient. The same is true of selfishness. I haven't actively worked at being less selfish, but the Lord changed my heart.
 

patrick jane

BANNED
Banned
I'm more patient because I have learned to wait on the Lord and be content in whatsoever state I find myself. When trials and tribulations have come my way, I've learned there is nothing for me to do but TRUST IN THE LORD. That works patience in me. I can't practice up for that. It's not through my actively working at being patient. The same is true of selfishness. I haven't actively worked at being less selfish, but the Lord changed my heart.

Me too, good post :)
 

Eric h

Well-known member
I'm more patient because I have learned to wait on the Lord and be content in whatsoever state I find myself. When trials and tribulations have come my way, I've learned there is nothing for me to do but TRUST IN THE LORD. That works patience in me. I can't practice up for that. It's not through my actively working at being patient. The same is true of selfishness. I haven't actively worked at being less selfish, but the Lord changed my heart.

Likewise, I feel it is where you find peace.

A few years ago, I had some tests done for cancer, about a month after the doctor phoned to say he urgently wanted to see me, it was non Hodgkin Lymphoma, our best friend had this cancer, and three months after, she died. After the initial shock of knowing I had been given a possible death sentence, I prayed for the wisdom peace and perseverance to do God’s will, regardless as to whether the cancer would prove to be a death sentence or just an inconvenience. I can only say that from the moment of making this prayer, I have experienced profound times of peace and the thought of cancer has never troubled me at all. The journey with cancer is fraught with waiting a month or two for tests, followed by a period of waiting for results. Then the prayer has to turn to thanks, for the profound sense of peace that overcomes all our worries.

I could not imagine being able to live in peace with this knowledge without faith

I have never once prayed for healing, at the age of 66, the prayer for healing seemed too complicated to me. We all die at some point, and I just accept this.
 

jgarden

BANNED
Banned
What is forgiveness?

The Greatest Commandment and the Greatest Gift stress love and charity toward others as the hallmark qualities for which Christians should strive.

Given that religion in America has allowed itself to become so closely aligned with economics and politics, these have pushed love and charity aside in an endless cycle of struggles to attain power - largely ignoring the fact that the ends will never justify the means to attain it!
 

Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

But love isn't patience. Patience is patience. Love isn't kindness, kindness is kindness, and so on.

Acknowledged, and I've had good discussions with thoughtful people who said, "Love is not respect. Respect is respect. Love is not compassion. Compassion is compassion. It's not compassion, because it's an action. It's not an emotion you feel. It's an action you take."

So that there must be an analogy going on, here.

They tell me: "There is no analogy! Paul wrote exactly what he meant. Love is being patient, kind, not being easily angered, not keeping a record of wrongs. In short, forgiveness is love."

Yet that analogy is not being clearly explained; only inferred. It's "poetic" text, in that way. Which is OK with me.

Well, I think it's clear John was using an analogy when he wrote, "God is love." For how can God be either what I feel or what I do? He might cause such feelings or actions, but I don't see how he can be them. But it's only clear as mud to me, at the moment that Paul is using figures of speech, as you claim.

Because I understand the difference between love and these various expressions of love. But not everyone does. And for those who don't this text can become a little bit misleading. Because as I pointed out, these traits can also be employed by those who are not doing so out of love. So that to say "love is patient" becomes an incomplete, or inaccurate statement.

So how do I determine who is telling the truth and who is deceived? How do I know what you say is true? Can you think of anything else Paul wrote that more clearly shows he is using an analogy, here?

Evil can also be patient, for example, yet evil is not love, and love is not evil.

Evil can respect those who are evil. So how can love be respect?

Paul didn't write the words that we're discussing. He wrote in ancient Greek, I believe. That would have been translated into medieval latin, and then to old english, then to whatever we're reading, now. Something like that. So there's a lot of interpretation going on between Paul's mind and ours. Making it quite difficult for us to know whether Paul understood these kinds of nuances, or not.

And we'd have to know his personality to guess if he'd agree politely or disagree out of egotism and resentment. He was known to be quite a 'hothead', after all. :think:


Well, the reliability of scripture is a different topic of discussion all together. I think it deserves it's own discussion thread.
 

Spockrates

New member
I'm more patient because I have learned to wait on the Lord and be content in whatsoever state I find myself. When trials and tribulations have come my way, I've learned there is nothing for me to do but TRUST IN THE LORD. That works patience in me. I can't practice up for that. It's not through my actively working at being patient. The same is true of selfishness. I haven't actively worked at being less selfish, but the Lord changed my heart.


Thank you. So does the Lord change only your heart, or your actions, too?
 

Spockrates

New member
What is forgiveness?

The Greatest Commandment and the Greatest Gift stress love and charity toward others as the hallmark qualities for which Christians should strive.

Given that religion in America has allowed itself to become so closely aligned with economics and politics, these have pushed love and charity aside in an endless cycle of struggles to attain power - largely ignoring the fact that the ends will never justify the means to attain it!


Hi, jgarden. Is your answer to the question, "Forgiveness is love and charity"?
 

PureX

Well-known member
Acknowledged, and I've had good discussions with thoughtful people who said, "Love is not respect. Respect is respect. Love is not compassion. Compassion is compassion. It's not compassion, because it's an action. It's not an emotion you feel. It's an action you take."
I don't think that saying "love is an emotion" is particularly accurate. I would say that love is a specific kind of spiritual paradigm, through which we experience and understand ourselves and the world around us. Just as selfishness would also be a kind of spiritual paradigm through which we experience and understand ourselves and the world around us. And there are others.
They tell me: "There is no analogy! Paul wrote exactly what he meant. Love is being patient, kind, not being easily angered, not keeping a record of wrongs. In short, forgiveness is love."
But "they" are contradicting themselves, then. Because Paul didn't write that love is "being" patient. Paul wrote that "love is patient". The "being" makes it an active expression on someone's part. The "is" that Paul used relates the patience directly back to the love, disregarding any 'actor'. And that's how it becomes inaccurate, because evil is also patient, and evil is not love. So there is an innate contradiction if we read the words with such proposed absolute literality.

Also, the act of reading is by it's nature an act of interpretation. There in no such thing as an absolutely objective literal interpretation, because interpreting text is by it's nature a subjective act. The words mean what we think they mean. While they mean nothing in and of themselves.
Well, I think it's clear John was using an analogy when he wrote, "God is love." For how can God be either what I feel or what I do? He might cause such feelings or actions, but I don't see how he can be them. But it's only clear as mud to me, at the moment that Paul is using figures of speech, as you claim.
In this instance, though, I agree with John's leaving this statement somewhat vague. Because "God" IS inexplicable. We don't know exactly how God relates to the spirit of love being infested in ourselves, and in the universe. So I'm OK with John presenting us with this mystery in this vague way. How else could he have done it?
So how do I determine who is telling the truth and who is deceived? How do I know what you say is true? Can you think of anything else Paul wrote that more clearly shows he is using an analogy, here?
As a human being, we don't get to know anything with absolute certainty. Which is why I believe it's far more important that we humans pursue honesty than that we pursue some "absolute truth". The only truth we can know will be relative, and so generally vague and fleeting. True; only so long as the facts upon which it's truthfulness rests, don't change. But everything changes, eventually. And whatever truth we think we have nailed down will become untrue one way or another.

Through honesty, we can come to understand this, and to accept our limitations. And to accept the limitations of others. I find this to be the better path to pursue.
Well, the reliability of scripture is a different topic of discussion all together. I think it deserves it's own discussion thread.
There is usually one on this subject somewhere on TOL , at any given time. But if you want to start one, that's fine, too.
 
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