I served ten years. The first seven of those years was before DADT. Basically DADT was that gays could serve as long as they didn't advertise the fact and the Brass could turn a blind eye. It was one the dumbest things Clinton ever did. Morale instantly began to drop. Then, I was serving in a P3 Orion unit. The Unit couldn't expel someone that was obviously homosexual and it killed the morale of the unit. Celebrations were muted after that.
Rape has nothing to do with homosexuality. Rape is rape regardless of the sexual preferences of the rapist. Rape is a crime regardless of the sex of the criminal. Rape was illegal before, and is illegal now. So it has no bearing on homosexuality at all.
Why did your unit want to expel that person just because they were "obviously" homosexual? What does their being obvious have to do with anything? And why would morale suffer because they couldn't expel that person? Seem to me that the morale problem wasn't the homosexual's fault, but was caused by the bigotry of the unit.
DADT was the wrong thing to do. Allowing openly gay people to serve while flaunting their lifestyle in the open is even worse. A military with homosexuals in it isn't as cohesive or effective a fighting machine. The soldiers, airmen and sailors have to trust one another. Given the record that many in the homosexual community have, that trust cannot be built.
Your problem seems to be with the "flaunting", which I find interesting. You seem to presume they should be ashamed of who they are, when clearly they are not.
My husband has told me several accounts of how homosexuals behave toward their peers in the armed services. Here's one. A gets B drunk and rapes him in a bar. This happened in my husband's unit more than once. No amount of sensitivity training or political correctness is going to fix this problem.
Rumors abound in the military. I wouldn't believe all the stories I've heard, especially those kinds of stories.
I bet in a couple more years the whole issue will be dead and gone. Young people aren't as prejudiced as the older generation are. As the dinosaurs retire, the whole thing will vanish into history.