homeschooling lead to social deficiency?

[beefalobilly]

Conservative and California do not go together. :chuckle: That's one of the biggest reasons I left six years ago.

You gotta find the right place I live on the central coast, right inbetween LA and san francisco, but removed from their influence.

 

[The Berean]

You gotta find the right place I live on the central coast, right inbetween LA and san francisco, but removed from their influence.

No way! Do you live near SLO? I graduated form Cal Poly.

 

[ebenz47037]

Parents play a big role in their child's social skill development. This past weekend I went to Fresno to met my new brother-in-law. He has three kids, one girl and two boys. They are not home schooled. The daugher is amazingly talented and beautiful young lady. She plays classical paino, the violin, gets straight A's, sings worship at church, was a great swimmer before she quit and is preparing for the SAT test . Oh, and she is 14 years old. But she is extremely shy. I asked her to pray before dinner but she wouldn't do it. She said she'll mess it up. Her two brothers are the opposite. They are total chatter boxes. Her parents are extremely proud of her and she is very smart but I get the feeling that her parents haven't been as deligent in teaching and developing her social skills. I curious to see what she is like personality-wise at age 18-20.

I was extremely shy when I was a teenager, Berean. I got straight A's, was in the high school choir, sang solos in church all the time, and was in the church choir. I stayed shy pretty much til I was about 25. I still am a little bit until I get to know people. It's just her personality type. There's nothing anyone can do to change that. Don't worry about her. She's fine.

My daughter, on the other hand, is extremely socially-inclined. She wants and has many friends. She also sings in church and gets pretty much straight As with homeschooling. She's 15 now and will be prepping for her SAT/ACT in two years.

 

[ebenz47037]

You gotta find the right place I live on the central coast, right inbetween LA and san francisco, but removed from their influence.

I lived in Modesto. They're pretty conservative, considering they're Californians. :chuckle: But, I'm much more conservative and don't know how it happened in CA.

 

[ShadowMaid]

Actually, even homeschoolers who don't go out much (Christine, Elaine, my sister, and myself) can, and I believe often, don't have any social problems.

 

[The Berean]

I was extremely shy when I was a teenager, Berean. I got straight A's, was in the high school choir, sang solos in church all the time, and was in the church choir. I stayed shy pretty much til I was about 25. I still am a little bit until I get to know people. It's just her personality type. There's nothing anyone can do to change that. Don't worry about her. She's fine.

My daughter, on the other hand, is extremely socially-inclined. She wants and has many friends. She also sings in church and gets pretty much straight As with homeschooling. She's 15 now and will be prepping for her SAT/ACT in two years.

Oh, I'm not worried about her. She actually opened up to me a bit. She asked if I could help her with some of the math on the SAT study guides. Since I'm her new uncle now, I'll get to see her from time to time.

 

[beefalobilly]

No way! Do you live near SLO? I graduated form Cal Poly.

Yeah, I live about 30 minutes from there, in paso robles, I've got a couple friends going to cal poly, and I'm going to cuesta right now :vomit:
In fact, our pastor moved, and our interim pastor is a former professor from cal poly, dr. abitia. He taught business I think.

 

[Christine]

in what ways do you think it's helped you? My social skills suck and I went to a public school but I dont really think it's due to the school, it's just because i'm naturally shy.

I think homeschooling helped my social skills in many ways including, good grammar (my father has always insisted we use proper grammar usage when speaking), clear enunciation, and a proper attitude (espeically toward those older than me).

 

[The Berean]

Yeah, I live about 30 minutes from there, in paso robles, I've got a couple friends going to cal poly, and I'm going to cuesta right now :vomit:
In fact, our pastor moved, and our interim pastor is a former professor from cal poly, dr. abitia. He taught business I think.

How cool. I also attended Cuesta in 1991-92. What a small world! :banana:

 

[Crow]

As a homeschool grad (this year) I can honestly say I don't believe that being homeschooled has hindered my social skills in the least. In fact, I believe homeschooling has helped me to develop better social skills than I could/would have had if I had attended public school.

I agree. I met Christine, her sister, and Nori's daughter when several of us got together for a meal last year. Not only did the three homeschooled young ladies have good social skills as their own little group, but they were impressive in their ability to interact well with adults.

By contrast, a friend's child and his public schooled buddies behave as I envision Neanderthals would. Scratch. Pick. Belch. Fart. The sound of lips smacking. Conversation: "Uh huh. Uh uh. No way. Maaaaaaannnn."

Now, you can write this off to being male, but I assure you that his fifteen year girlfriend is just as crass and gross as he is.

 

[Poly]

I have been approached by numerous people who say that homeschooling leads to a decreased ability for the child to interact properly with other children. Is there any substance to this accusation?

Do you have children? If so, are they in public school?

 

[erinmarie]

The alternatives: bullying, shootings, unsafe schools, kids picking on other kids, inadequate teachers....yes those are bad alternatives.

erinmarie, can you provide more of an answer? I'm interested in more thoughts here.

Thanks.

Sorry, I was going to add more to the No, but everyone else jumped in and did such an excellent job, I thought I'd leave it up to them.

My children are very young, so I'm not sure of how social they will or will not be yet. But Rose, my five year old hasn't had very much interaction with other children her age and she is extremely social, and outgoing. My momma says she lights up a room when she walks in.

Do you have any children, jack?

 

[Freak]

By contrast, a friend's child and his public schooled buddies behave as I envision Neanderthals would. Scratch. Pick. Belch. Fart. The sound of lips smacking. Conversation: "Uh huh. Uh uh. No way. Maaaaaaannnn."

That is why we have choosen to homeschool. We desire to raise children not monkeys.

Now, you can right this off to being male,

:think:

 

[Freak]

[
Yet, that seems to be the modern day philosophy for teaching kids social skills. People send their kids off to school hoping that they will pick up social skills. Well I have news for ya . . . your kids WILL LEARN social skills, BAD social skills!!!! :shocked:

Yet, homeschooled children certainly do need to practice their social skills therefore the external activities outside the house.

:thumb:

 

[ebenz47037]

That is why we have choosen to homeschool. We desire to raise children not monkeys.

:think:

Did I catch that right? :BRAVO:

 

[SOTK]

I think a lot of what you have to say about public schools is kind of over-done, I mean it's not like kids go to public schools to get loaded and have sex. That stuff happens after school, and just because a kid is in church or youth group doens' tmean they won't be inovolved with that, I know plenty of kids who are regular with youth group and still go out and party and drink etc. There's always goign to be bad kids at public schools, but there's also going to be good kids who hang out together. I think if a parent has done their job, then there shouldn't be too big of a problem going to a public school.

And girls will be berated by guys no matter where you go. It's not public schools, it's the culture and nature of people. And if you're really trying to protect your children from the influence of other people, then you'd have to cut off interaction with other people completely, there's going to be a negative influence just about anytime you interact with another person.

I share this opinion as well. I think if a parent is going to homeschool it should be for many more reasons besides protection. For example, my wife took our oldest daughter shopping the other day at an outside flea-type market. I guess there were nutjobs all around. There were a handful of lesbians walking around, drunks, and the like. Our kids can be acosted at a park, bowling alley, skating rink, video store, and super market.

Personally, with all things in life, I put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ and teach my kids to do the same.

 

[Lucky]

My oldest daughter plays ice hockey and attends youth group weekly.

Church youth group? I thought DBC was against that idea.

 

[jack jackson]

I have children. My oldest will start school next year...maybe some kind of presschool type thing. I think we're going to try homeschooling. I knew a girl in a Bible study group several years ago who was way mature for her age. Homeschooled all the way to high school graduation. Amazing person. I'm just asking all this because I want to know what to say to people that come up to me and accuse me of depriving my kids of something by going the homeschool route. We at least want to do it until he chooses public school. Then we will prepare him for evolution, letting him know it's a THEORY, and not THE TRUTH.

Knight.....girls playing hockey...now that is a beautiful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[julie21]

Hey Jackson...good to see you aren't just jumping in to the homeschooling bit without getting some sage advice from those 'in the know'. There are quite a few around here on TOL who know lots, and can help, as you have presumably seen.

 

[julie21]

There is no deficiency. My daughter, not only socializes with friends her own age, but she can talk to anyone with confidence.

This happens with children outside of homeschooling as well Nori. My children were not homeschooled, but have always been good communicators with adults as well as others of their own age. This is because their father and I have never 'babied' them, teaching them how to socialise with others no matter the environment they are in, as well as the perhaps 'inherited' ability to do this, as I was the same.
People always believe my son and daughter to be at least 3-5 years ahead of their age. They both have attended public schools, and even though they are surrounded by some very socially inept individuals, have classmates who are 'druggies' and so forth, they have been taught from a young age, that there are choices that need to be made in life.
I thank God that even when we were not Christians, we had the good sense to bring our children up knowing the right choices.
The world and all of its lures and sins is still there to be faced...its how the child is raised by their parents, and the child's attitudes that determine the paths they will take. Not necessarily whether they were home or public or private schooled.
Just my humble opinion based on our own situation.