Alrighty then! Now that all that is over I'll repost post# 109 here so as to get us back on track.
Thank you Knight for removing the distraction! :thumb:
Originally posted by frugalmom
Never had that happen either - and if it was an accident, I don't see the point in punishing the baby. (baby nail clippers are a good investment)
Wow! you must raise perfect children!
Excuse my sarcasm but this doesn't even come close to responding to the issue! No one is suggesting PUNISHING the child, as I have already explained. Training is not punishing! To punish a child before it is able to understand right and wrong, at least to some degree, is a stupid waste of time. Training and punishment are not at all the same issue.
No it isn't. If I had listened to "culture", I would believe the mainstream ideas that you endorse.
This is insanity!
Look, if you don't want to discuss the issue just say so and I'll drop it or talk with someone else about it. But characterizing either the "Growing Kids God's Way" material or especially "To Train Up a Child" as "mainstream" is just simply intellectually dishonest! If anything you are the more mainstream! On demand feeding, especially on demand breast feeding is the mantra of practically every parenting magazine ever published!
You either have what these books are teaching completely upside down and backward, or you're just arguing to be arguing!
The generation I grew up in was very much a mainstream, detachment parenting, "baby training" culture. The 60s, 70s and 80s were particularly known for this. Infant formula and feminism prevailed too, and went, and still go, hand in hand with detachment parenting. Society says "train your babies to be independent from day one, stick a bottle of artificial formula in it's mouth, and mothers go out and work in your number 1 priority: your career! Let others raise your kids!" ....... I say....."no thankya!"
Yeah! ME TOO! Do you really think that this is what I advocate or what those books are teaching?!!! If so you are seriously wrong and, as I have been trying to get across to you, are reacting emotionally to teachings that are not there!
I have no argument with you if you want to say that the Pearl's are little harsher than most and even perhaps harsher than they should be in certain situations. But this sort of nonsense is just not in there! The Pearl's were Amish for crying out loud! I hardly think they could have given a rip what was popular in the 60's, 70's and 80's! And when the Ezzo's published their stuff it was met with all sorts of accusations of child abuse and the like, exactly the sort of thing you're saying, again, hardly what I would call mainstream.
You are simply wrong on this. A newborn's stomach is only about the size of a cherry. They will need to triple their birthweight in the first year. Because their stomachs are so tiny, food is digested very quickly, and therefore they need to eat often. There is no self centeredness going on here!!!
Breastmilk in particular digests quickly. For the lucky babies who are fed human milk, God's perfect design, co-sleeping makes it far easier on the mother and baby. Neither one of them even have to get up for nighttime feedings, and the baby isn't left alone crying because it's hungry.
Here again, you are either incredibly naive or being intentionally disingenuous. I can't even believe that a parent could say such a ridiculous thing.
Look, feeding on a schedule does not; I repeat, DOES NOT have the child going hungry! All its about is intentionally taking control of the babies biological clock (for want of a better term). If you have your baby on a feeding schedule, the baby still gets fed on demand, it’s just that you are in control of when that demand is going to come.
Babies aren't hungry when their bellies are full whether the stomach is the size of a grape or a grapefruit. The baby gets hungry because its last meal has left the building sort of speak! And guess what! Food takes a very specific amount of time to digest! So if you control the amount and time a baby eats, you also, by default, control when the baby will be hungry again. Imagine that!
Further, a baby’s sleeping patterns are directly influence by its feeding patterns. If you stabilize a baby’s feeding times you will also stabilize their sleep patterns as well. This is the ONLY reason why it is possible to have normal babies sleeping 6-8 hours AT NIGHT by about the 8th week after birth. It has nothing to do with letting the baby cry all night long until it just figures out that it’s not going to be fed and goes to sleep. It has everything to do with the fact that the baby can sleep peacefully all night long because IT IS NOT HUNGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
This way you will not have to worry about leaving a crying baby to cry, and worry about whether it is hungry or not. You know that it is not hungry and so it becomes about a billion times easier to figure out whether the baby is just being stubborn or if there is actually something wrong. As you know, when there is something wrong, the cry sounds dramatically different.
Crying is a late sign of hunger.
This sentence very dramatically argues against your own position!
You say that crying is a baby’s only means of communication. This is certainly not so, but I'll grant it for the sake of this conversation. You now claim that crying is a late sign of hunger (which I agree with) and you claim to feed on demand. Thus you only feed when the baby cries because otherwise how would you know when it is hungry since it can't communicate any other way, which means that your baby has been hungry already for some period of time while you've been clueless or oblivious to it.
If you had been on a schedule you would have known hours in advance when the child was going to be hungry and chances are, the child would never have gotten to the crying hungry stage before it had a nipple in its mouth.
Furthermore, breastfeeding works on supply and demand - meaning, the more baby nurses, the more milk mom produces! This is why that breastfeeding on a schedule won't work. (And I specified babies and infants - toddlers are different, since they are mostly on solids) The baby will nurse alot and will also go through several growth spurts in the first year alone. They will nurse more during these spurts. This is natural. During this time and as the baby grows, it is building mom's milk supply to meet it's growing needs. A baby who isn't allowed to nurse on demand won't have it's feeding needs met, will attempt to nurse more and more because of mom's dwindling supply, and mom will eventually think she doesn't have enough milk (she probably won't at this point - and she may be uncomfortably engorged if she isn't feeding on demand). If it hasn't been more than a few months, she can let baby nurse as long and as often as it needs to, to build her supply back up, without drug induced lactation. But by this time, most babies sadly are on artificial formula. THAT'S why formula companies give out cute diaper bags with free samples and coupons - it's a hook and bait that will dry up mom's milk supply....and BINGO!! - there's $1200.00/year in infant formula.
Feeding on a schedule works just fine with breast feeding and this statement of yours backs that up. As you said, breasts produce milk based on demand and as I said a moment ago, you are still feeding on demand it’s just that you have taken control of when that demand will come.
Further, if you breast feed on demand you will almost certainly be feeding on cue, when the babies cries. And just as the babies body can be trained, so can yours. If you feed your baby every time it cries, then get ready to lactate all over yourself the first time you hear a baby crying at the grocery store. It called involuntary conditioned response. You are no more in control of it than Pavlov's dog unless you take control of the conditions you will be slave to the response. It's as simple as that.
Attempting to schedule a baby's feedings to mirror that of an adult, or anything less than feeding on demand, is cruel and puts unnecessary stress on the baby. This is breastfeeding 101 and to argue against that is equivalent to arguing that the earth is flat.
Two things here.
First of all this statement is patently untrue.
Second, you knew it was untrue when you said it. That's why you said it in the first place. If this statement where true, there would be no reason to say it. The only reason anyone ever says anything like this is when they aren't really sure they've done a sufficient job of establishing their position and so attempt to head off a rebuttal at the pass. It's sort of like the Calvinist preacher who, when they are making a point that they can't establish Biblical, they leave themselves a note in their sermon outline..."material here is weak, POUND PULPIT HERE!"
As for co-sleeping - most of the world co-sleeps with their babies. Putting baby alone in a crib is a western idea, and historically, quite a new one at that.
Most of the world co-sleeps! Is that supposed to convince me that it's a good idea? I thought you said it was my position that was in the mainstream! And now you’re making the argument that the mainstream has it right! Which is it?
Babies who are unnaturally forced to be independent from day one are put under extreme undue stress. Babies/toddlers
will gradually become independent at their own pace, (such as sleeping alone) and it is so much less stressful for them than to abandon them to cry in a crib. It won't be as convenient for the "career woman" though.
My wife has been a stay at home mom since day one. This discussion has nothing to do with being a "career woman". And no one has suggested that a baby should be independent. I don't even know what that means!
Here's what happens when a baby is left to cry:
source
I encourage you to read this link, as it covers the importance of feeding on cue.
Meaningless. As I have said a couple of times already, feeding schedules do not let the baby go hungry at all.
You even said that babies are smart - and I'm telling you that they're smart enough to know when they're hungry.
Thank you for arguing my side! They are far smarter than most give them credit for. And a baby who get a full night of sleep it not only smart but happy. As are the parents who also get a full night’s sleep and find it much easier to manage their children.
Resting in Him,
Clete