Some people completely ignore the fact that Jesus told St. Dismas he'd would be in Paradise with him that same day as they were crucified.
It's crystal clear, plainly stated- I've heard arguments trying to get around it and they are all ridiculous- it's a perfect example of how easily a person can warp meaning of the scriptures to make it seem as they want
Jesus didn't tell anyone they would be in heaven the same day as they were crucified. You're reading the grammar wrong.
Luke 23:43 KJV
(43) And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee,
To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
That means that the proclamation was enacted that day. It doesn't specify the date of fulfillment.
Same as when Saul spoke to David.
1 Samuel 18:21 KJV
(21) And Saul said, I will give him her, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him. Wherefore Saul said to David,
Thou shalt this day be my son in law in the one of the twain.
And same as when Solomon spoke to Shimei.
1 Kings 2:42 KJV
(42) And the king sent and called for Shimei, and said unto him, Did I not make thee to swear by the LORD, and protested unto thee, saying, Know for a certain,
on the day thou goest out, and walkest abroad any whither,
that thou shalt surely die? and thou saidst unto me, The word that I have heard is good.
If your English bible translates that correctly, like the Old Catholic bibles and the King James, it should say "today shalt" thou be with me in Paradise. It obviously can't be "today you will" because Jesus wasn't in Paradise that day.The morning of his resurrection he still hadn't ascended to heaven.
John 20:17 KJV
(17) Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not;
for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
So if you want to pay attention to what Jesus says, pay attention to what he says to Mary also. Don't change his words to mean something else. Peter said that Jesus was in hell during those three days. Unless you want to claim that Paradise is hell, you might want to revise your criticism.