The original meaning of 'rape' is 'to seize'.
Women seize things all the time from men. They'll take control of the home, the kids, plans, budget, and otherwise the marriage at large.
This is despite, from the biblical spirit, they aren't supposed to be doing any of that. In fact if you go to the Old Testament this is completely reversed- the husband dictated all these things.
'Marital rape' (physical rape of a spouse) is indeed a new thing in social ideology, because they followed biblical ideology in which a spouse who doesn't submit is the one in sin.
If you really want to go in on who the bad guy is, and who does and doesn't deserve what, you need to do more than simply making a dividing line and shouting ultimatums.