You seem to have no basis for your beliefs--just what feels good to you. That doesn't help avoid ECT, if it is the truth.
You want to wish ECT away as a non-player in any decisions. As nice as that may seem to you, it doesn't do any good if ECT is a fact.
You can declare it insane all you want to, just like you can declare that God doesn't exist, but that doesn't make it so. It just shows that you have rejected God.
I urge you to reconsider. If God really did send His own son to die for our sins, making a way for us to get to know God Himself, and we refuse that precious gift, that really is the unpardonable sin--the rejection of the Holy Spirit's call to repent and be saved. And if true, it would seem to be an eternal sin with eternal consequences.
We can define "love" as something else, but if that's what the original lover did to show us what love is, can we afford to reject it? I pray you don't reject it any longer.