Honey, I Shrunk the Congregation (my personal pathetic pastoral poem)
Honey, I Shrunk the Congregation (my personal pathetic pastoral poem)
Dear Honey,
Maybe it’s time we took a long vacation.
You see, there may be a change in my pastoral situation.
Some folks in the church are suggesting my immediate resignation!
Because, Honey— I shrunk the congregation!
I must have been a lousy leader. I didn’t flame their imagination.
I didn’t give them a clear vision. I didn’t give them motivation.
And now they’re giving me their excommunication!
All because, Honey, I shrunk the congregation.
But Honey, I preached the Bible! From Genesis to Revelation!
I taught all the best doctrines, from salvation to sanctification!
I even preached against sin-- from fornication to intoxication!
But nevertheless, Honey, I shrunk the congregation!
Was it because of some errant, unbiblical interpretation?
Was it because I believe in predestination or pre-tribulation?
Was it because I used commentaries not of our denomination?
I don’t know, Honey. But I shrunk the congregation.
Oh Honey, isn’t this a pastor’s ultimate humiliation?
How can we ever hold our heads up? I’ve blown my reputation!
This must be the unpardonable sin-- I feel such condemnation!
Woe is me, Honey, I shrunk the congregation!
Remember when we first came here? We had such expectation!
I employed all the latest programs to grow a church’s population!
I made tracts! I had a website! And a daily blog of inspiration!
And yet, Honey, I still shrunk the congregation!
Honey, maybe I should seek another less demanding occupation.
Maybe I should pursue some more higher education.
Maybe I should write a book? We could profit from its publication!
I could call it: “Honey, I shrunk the Congregation”!
-------------------------------------------------------------
My poor husband,
I read your letter, dear, and I feel your desperation.
But Honey, do you think you’re the only pastor in our generation
who’s felt rejected or dejected by his church’s alienation?
So what, Honey? You shrunk the congregation!
Did you ever think that maybe the church is God’s operation?
And maybe this is His moving, as He shakes every foundation?
So maybe we should praise Him for their non-participation!
Hallelujah, Honey! You shrunk the congregation!
Now, Honey! Does our Lord need crowds to spark His celebration?
And do we need multitudes to prove His manifestation?
Can you remember how he saved you for a servant’s consecration?
Can you repent for any part you played in our flock’s disintegration?
Can you just return to Jesus and His simple gospel proclamation?
And simply serve the ones He’s left us— and pray for their liberation?
Well then, let’s trust Him, Honey... and just love His congregation