No, I meant do you consider yourself as most people in terms of "I've never met a person I'd believe a word from on the repentance deal. People are just sorry they got caught and beg for forgiveness so they don't get in trouble"
I don't share the same sentiment.
Your post above to Mary makes sense. And I suppose your reply here also answers the question to an extent. You don't consider yourself as other people in this regard. I was just curious.
It strikes me that folks very often don't seem to consider themselves included when they make statements about "people" or "most people ____." (I know I can fall into that hole). We tend to separate ourselves from what "other" people do. Especially if we think it's wrong
.
I agree, we do often single ourselves out. I can totally see how my statement implied that. The thing is I try my best not to do anything I wouldn't be proud of, or that I wouldn't stand by. Things I have done that I came to realize is wrong through guilt or law or w/e, honestly, I'd have to be saving an orphanage to do it again. As far as Tiger goes, his statement really only served to somewhat prove my point.
A lot of people do what they know is wrong and lie to themselves. I really believe he would still be doing it, and I would be shocked to learn he hasn't even once picked up his phone and wanted to call one of those women since this scandal broke. If he had just said I did what I did because I wanted to and didn't think anything bad of it at the time I'd be more likely to believe him. Now I don't believe anything he says, because if you can lie to yourself then you're really good at it, :chuckle: .
(But Mary I loved your
"that's way too cynical" post. ... Don't mean to beat on
you; just that original post'd really jumped out at me).
Eh, I can take it Zoo. Trust me, I've faced much harsher criticism with a calmly manner. I probably am overly cynical, but I don't get upset very easy. I'd believe someone was genuine in their regret once their actions prove it, but I can't before then. I'd really like to believe them just on the merit of their words, but that's not something that's proved to work out in my experience.
Quincy, regarding your comment that you don't apologize because you think it's meaningless, and that you need to actually "fix" things to make a wrong right... I agree that actually
showing someone your apology, and rectifying a wrong is important. But have you considered that an apology might not be meaningless to the person on the other end? In fact, it might mean quite a lot. (As might
not getting an apology). I understand completely what you're saying... But I don't agree at all that an apology is meaningless (unless of course, it's meaningless). And in fact, I think the sentiment "I can understand sometimes people just want to hear an 'I'm sorry' but it just don't feel right to me" is pretty selfish. Apologizing doesn't
replace rectifying a wrong, but an apology can be a part of rectifying a wrong. Acknowledging it. Maybe you'll reconsider.
It's not that I think an apology is meaningless, it just feels weird to me. Let's say I did what Tiger did. Me apologizing for multiple long term affairs is just ridiculous, especially after admitting I knew it was wrong. Is he truely sorry about the actions? I doubt it. Now I would say, I did what I did, I was I wrong, and I truely regret causing the ones I love pain. Now I will make amends if given the chance. Then I wouldn't have said anything else about it. I would get busy making things up to whoever I hurt. I just don't see a need for all the talk.
I realize that an apology is meaningful to people, I just don't think people should beat it into the ground. Address the situation and move on and fix it, that's my motto.
That is probably my biggest beef with american society. When I grew up, I was lucky enough to have a mamaw that taught to be honorable and to be proud. In this country some people do things they know is wrong because they lie to themselves. A lot of people just don't seem to have any honor and expect they will get a second chance by law or something. I'll reconsider and take a look at the whole be more apologetic thing, but I'd rather earn forgiveness and I never expect it as some right which I think a lot of people do.
