First let me set straight a few things I know what once saved always saved means , I thought we all did in my church after all the pastor preached it enough . However as one of my many reasons for leaving is that that didn't walk the talk.
By your definition of it, or the word of Gods definition? You have said you dont agree with some of scripture, so whats your criteria that your pastor didnt do so?
For my church h and the majority of christians in it , it WAS about how I dressed on a Sunday morning
Weird church, if what you say is accurate.
it was making sure if the pastor popped round for a cup of tea making sure no secular books , music , alcohol etc were on display.
Why would alcohol be on display at a church? You say you were baptist but you are describing church of christ, with the how you dressed and now music stuff, they are who teach those things.
It was fine for them when I was there every single worship and bible study arriving first and leaving last but whenever real problems in my life happened they dumped me, brushed it under the carpet because of course I had to be in some kind of sin for things to be going wrong for me .
yes, its certainly Gods fault that you attended what sounds like a poor church, you do know there are others, no?
The first church home we had was for 25 years , I thought they were our family, saw us get married have our first 3 children . However when we left (to a sister church closer to home ) not one member kept in touch. The sister church we moved to happened to pastored by my father in law , but once our great differences in doctrine were discovered we decided it best not to members of that church , that was 3 years ago and my in laws haven't spoken to us since . Just for believing different . Now maybe my cases are the extreme , maybe you think I'm still hurt and bitter . I'm not , I know that no one is perfect and can't rely on man or church or arguing of which bit of the bible is going to "save me" .
My apologies for keep answering some comments with scripture and then denying it's the very word of God in others . I must sound very hypocritical and like I'm cherry picking but it's very hard to unlearn what you have been taught for 20odd years .
I feel free right now but that negative way of thinking just plagues me every now and then . I feel guilt sometimes that I'm still in bed on a SUNDAY morning or that song I just listened to had swear words in etc etc .
Regarding hell as mentioned I did my praying , studying and soul searching on that many years ago for me it is settled and I have peace about it and unless you really want to hear my thoughts on the issue I'm happy to leave your comment right there . But just to say your very comment about hell being mentioned more times than heaven was said more than once by my old pastor , so I decided to take him to task on that . He was wrong and without wanting to offend so are you . Now weather you have been taught it too and blindly follow or weather you are trying to deceive I do not know , but little tricks like that the church uses to keep us in line .
So you attended church, to judge others there who needed a savior as bad as you did, instead of for God? As far as "keep you in line" is that what you disagree with about the word of God too, that you have to admit you are a sinner in need of salvation that only comes through Christ?
Did you judge them all in your church like you have the word of God, and proclaim there, that God didnt mean what He said about salvation and hell?