In all seriousness though, I am a pro-gun, anti-welfare, pro-very-small-government, anti-tax guy.
Me, too.
And you call me a liberal. So what exactly is your definition of a liberal?
We could both be classified as libertarians, but
there are different types of libertarians.
I fall in this category:
Classical Liberalism:
Classical liberals agree with the words of the Declaration of Independence: That all people have basic human rights, and that the sole legitimate function of government is to protect those rights. Most of the Founding Fathers, and most of the European philosophers who influenced them, were classical liberals.
From what I have seen in your posts, you probably fall in this category:
Civil Libertarianism:
Civil libertarians believe that the government should not pass laws that restrict, oppress, or selectively fail to protect people in their day-to-day lives.
Their position can best be summed up by Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes' statement that "a man's right to swing his fist ends where my nose begins." In the United States, the American Civil Liberties Union represents the interests of civil libertarians. Civil libertarians may or may not also be fiscal libertarians.
If you believe the ACLU represents your interests, you are a liberal.