So, I'd have to say that this response has the flavor of truth to it. I also have to say that I'm quite surprised! I really did think you were just making it up! I stand corrected.
It seems you were enough of a Calvinist to fellowship with them but came to it via a route that had basically nothing to do with real research into the doctrines they teach or why they teach them, which is the typical way most people come from outside into nearly any doctrinal system. You basically had a favorite doctrine (e.g. that God controls everything that ever happens) and hung out with the first set of people you could find who taught that God is a control freak and that if anything ever happened that God didn't specifically want to happen that He would somehow break and wouldn't be God any more.
For the record and just in case anyone ever asks you this same question again....
Anyone who tells you that Total Depravity is the basis for the Calvinist system is an ignoramus who literally has no idea at all what he's talking about. The foundational premise for the entire Reformed system of theology is their doctrine of Immutability. I say "their doctrine" because what they believe about God's immutability bears no resemblance at all to what the bible teaches concerning God's unchanging character. Their doctrine of Immutability teaches that it isn't merely God's character and personality that is perfect and unchanging but that there is no aspect of God's existence as God that can change in ANY WAY whatsoever. It is this hyper-immutability version of the doctrine that sits as the ground and foundation of every single distinctively Calvinist doctrine you can name. Chief among them being their soteriology.
The Calvinist Doctrine of Salvation (Soteriology)
If God is immutable, then His will is fixed, His purposes unalterable, and His decree exhaustive. Such a decree does not merely touch salvation; it governs it entirely. The five points commonly summarized by the TULIP acronym (Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints) are often treated as distinct doctrines. In reality, they are interdependent expressions of a single theological logic. Each one flows from the premise that God’s will cannot be changed, challenged, or frustrated, and together they form the Calvinist doctrine of salvation.
The doctrine of total depravity holds that mankind is not merely sinful but entirely incapable of initiating or even desiring his own salvation. The human will is seen as bound in sin, morally disabled from seeking God or responding to His offer of grace. This condition is rooted in the doctrine of original sin, which teaches that all human beings inherit both the corruption and the guilt of Adam’s transgression. This is not simply a moral description, it is a theological necessity. If God's will is the ultimate and immutable cause of all things, then salvation cannot begin with man. Therefore, man must be entirely unable to choose God so that salvation may be attributed wholly to divine initiative. Louis Berkhof makes the point clearly: “The doctrine of total depravity does not mean that man is as bad as he can be, but that every part of his nature is corrupted and that he is utterly incapable of changing his spiritual condition. Only the immutable will of God can bring about regeneration.” Human inability is not merely a consequence of the Fall; it is a condition that supports the broader claim that God’s will alone is effectual. The doctrine of depravity, then, serves to eliminate any hint of cooperation between man and God. Grace must act alone, or God is not sovereign. If God is not sovereign, then He is contingent. If God is contingent, then He is mutable. If God is mutable, then He is not God.
Moving next to the doctrine of unconditional election, we find that it rests on the foundation of human inability, which itself is rooted in the Calvinist doctrine of immutability and shaped historically by Augustine’s view of inherited guilt. If man cannot move toward God, then God must move unilaterally toward man, though in a way that does not imply contingency or any change in God. If God's will does not change, then His decision to save must be made from eternity, not based on anything foreseen in the creature. Those who are saved are not chosen because of faith; they have faith because they are chosen. Election is not contingent; it is decretive. R. C. Sproul underscores the point: “God does not foresee an action or condition on our part that induces Him to save us. Election rests on God’s sovereign decision to save whom He is pleased to save” (Chosen by God, p. 22). To suggest otherwise would be to introduce uncertainty into the divine purpose and to open the door to a future not already settled in the mind of God. The immutability of His will rules out any such possibility. Election must therefore be sovereign, unconditional, and irrevocable.
The same logic extends to the doctrine of limited atonement. If God’s decree is eternal, effectual, and unchangeable, then Christ’s death must be understood as accomplishing precisely what was intended from eternity. The atonement, in this view, is not a general provision offered to all, but a specific payment securing the salvation of those whom God has chosen. Since the divine will is immutable, its redemptive purpose must succeed without exception. As Louis Berkhof writes, “The atonement is not a mere possibility; it is a divine certainty, grounded in the eternal counsel of God. It secures the salvation of the elect, for whom alone it was intended.” Christ’s death is therefore seen as definitively effective for the elect, not merely making salvation possible but actually securing it according to the immutable counsel of God.
From this follows the doctrine of irresistible grace. If God has chosen certain individuals to be saved and has provided atonement on their behalf, then their salvation must be applied with certainty. The effectual call of the Spirit does not depend on human cooperation but acts directly upon the will, bringing it into alignment with the divine purpose. Grace, in this framework, is not merely offered but enacted; it produces the very faith that it requires. As R. C. Sproul writes, “The efficacy of God’s grace does not rest on the fickle will of man, but on the immutable will of God. If grace can be resisted to the point of frustrating God’s redemptive plan, then God is not sovereign. And if He is not sovereign, He is not immutable” (Chosen by God, p. 146). If God has purposed to redeem, then the sinner must come, not by constraint, but by a regenerated will that cannot fail to respond.
The perseverance of the saints follows as the necessary conclusion. If salvation is the result of God’s eternal and unchanging decree, then it cannot ultimately be lost. Those whom God has called and justified will also be glorified. Their faith may falter and their path may darken, but the outcome is secured by the constancy of divine purpose. As John Owen observed, “The immutability of the divine purposes is the foundation of the saints’ perseverance. If God’s love toward them could change, so too would their condition. But His love is from everlasting to everlasting.” The believer's endurance is not grounded in his own strength, but in the unwavering resolve of God. To fall away finally would be to imply a revision in the redemptive plan, which is incompatible with the doctrine of immutability. The same will that initiated salvation is the will that brings it to completion.
We see then that these five doctrines do not stand individually, but are strands of a single rope, woven tightly together and anchored in the immutable sovereignty of God. Total depravity removes human agency as a contributing factor, election affirms God's unchanging will, limited atonement secures the result, irresistible grace ensures its application, and perseverance guarantees its completion. Together, these doctrines form a unified expression of immutable divine sovereignty in action. As John Piper explains, “If total depravity is true, then unconditional election follows. If unconditional election is true, then limited atonement and irresistible grace follow. The doctrines of grace are a coherent and necessary implication of God’s sovereign grace.” They are not independent affirmations loosely held, but corollaries of the single, inviolable truth that God cannot change.
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