In forums like these when the law of Christian love is not self regulating, it would be rather preferable if its laws were enforced equally on everyone even if it was of letter and not of willing heart and spirit. As such a forced and enforced civility might be a schoolmaster to bring its participants to where they learned civility by repetition and example.
While I agree with you that in the absence of a kind of a "these were more noble than those in Thessalonica" in the Believer, as he or she responds to one conflict or another, the need to reign such in, while ever obvious within Paul's writings to his first century audience, so is his ever turning such moments into an opportunity to remind them of, and or to instruct them in, lessons like the following...
2 Corinthians 12:1 It is not expedient for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord. 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 12:8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
When you think on it, there was Paul, running to The Great Moderator Himself.
What does Paul walk away with?
A slap on the wrist? Not exactly, that alone.
A coddling? In no way, shape, or form.
A one-sided "don't challenge my ruling?"
Not that, either.
Instead, a lesson in a core principle that will not only serve him throughout what ever comes his way, but that he might be example of, through his willingly living it out by faith, unto his first century readers.
This is often the case in his writings, not only his attempt to reign in the misconduct of someone, where called for, but Paul also just as often emphasizes that Grace that is in Christ Jesus, that is only made perfect in weakness.
Notice both, once more, even in very few words by him, while calling out and warning the Corinthians, on their misconduct...
2 Corinthians 1:23 Moreover I call God for a record upon my soul, that to spare you I came not as yet unto Corinth. 1:24 Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.
What is one left with, in the absence of the Grace emphasis aspect also?
With its' absence in, one.
That is, where the individual continues in the obvious failure of many a Believer - the ever obviously repeated failure to have asked oneself, and then proceeded to seek out an answer to the question "nevertheless, what might Scripture have to say about what my focus can be, come my way, what may?"
Which is an individual thing.
For a individual aspect it must remain.
As is ever obvious in passages like the above, Paul was clear in this, during his own practice of the kinds of obvious "moderating..." on his part, of conduct unbecoming of a Believer.
Why?
Because Romans 5: 6-8, in each...our stead.