Salvation by Grace.
Try reading a broader range of Scripture....the part that was meant for you.
Romans 4:4-5 Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. 5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
Save your pity for yourself, son. You are in way over your head.
As Paul tells us, they had great zeal but not according to knowledge. Much like you.
Romans 10:Romans 10:1-3 Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved. For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge. For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
And that is one of the effects that comes with the law...it leads to more sin and spiritual pride..."But sin,
taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence".
Romans 7:13 Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good;
that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful.
Are you saying you do not believe that Jesus is God? Are you further proving you have no idea of what it means to walk by faith? That's sure what it looks like to me.
You're stuck on the wrong side of the cross. Law and Grace do not mix, and if you try and get saved through law keeping, you will fail. Salvation is by grace through faith. Plain and simple.