You know that this is not what Jesus was talking about in John 3, right?
That's a wonderful chapter, by the way. It shows so clearly that all of the physical rudiments of the world have no place in the body of Christ.
Look what come right before that verse:
Col 2:6-12 (AKJV/PCE)
(2:6) As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, [so] walk ye in him: (2:7) Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. (2:8) Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. (2:9) For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. (2:10) And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: (2:11) In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ: (2:12) Buried with him in baptism, wherein also ye are risen with [him] through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead.
The circumcision is made without hands and yet you folks want to make water baptism something required.
The baptism there in verse 12 has NO water. That baptism is OUR identification with HIM in HIS death for us.
And after:
Col 2:14-23 (AKJV/PCE)
(2:14) Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; (2:15) [And] having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it. (2:16) Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath [days]: (2:17) Which are a shadow of things to come; but the body [is] of Christ. (2:18) Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, (2:19) And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God. (2:20) Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (2:21) (Touch not; taste not; handle not; (2:22) Which all are to perish with the using after the commandments and doctrines of men? (2:23) Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.
The current teaching in churchiantiy about water baptism is just such a "rudiment of the world". Most of churchianity does indeed call the water ceremony an ordinance.