Getting people to think. In what situations should we get people to think?

[aikido7]

I agree. But it’s hard to pick up vital clues in communication without seeing a person’s body language, facial expressions, voice tone and breathing.

When my daughter was born, I strove to be a better commuicator than my parents were to me.

As a child, when I would leave clothes on the floor of my room, my dad would say “You slob! Can’t you keep your room clean?

With my own child, I learned to turn my own reactions upside down. It was clearluy earth-shaking for me. I learned to get beyond blame and be accountable for my own feelings.

I would say something like “Annashay, I sure get frustrated when I see your socks and your underwear on the floor. Would you be willing to give me some solutions so that we can talk about them and both of us might feel better?"

In the first instance, the child gets the messsage “I am a slob.”
In the second example, the child gets the message “Dad is frustrated."

 

[glorydaz]

[MENTION=15685]musterion[/MENTION], if Jacob is such a nuisance to you then why are you here on his thread?

This one loves to scold others for what she imagines they think. :chuckle:

 

[ok doser]

I would say something like “Annashay, I sure get frustrated when I see your socks and your underwear on the floor. Would you be willing to give me some solutions so that we can talk about them and both of us might feel better?"

two obvious solutions come to mind, daddy

one involves me and the other involves you

solution one: i can try to do better at throwing my socks and underwear on the furniture, tables, television set, dog, etc

solution two: you can stop looking at the floor and focusing on trivial things that frustrate you and look at my beautiful face instead