annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
I think you touch on my point in "outside my natural inclinations" though.
Maybe, but my overall point is one that's common in psychology: "it depends."
Speaking of natural inclinations, mine would be to wander away at this point because in weighing the hugeness of the subject (there's a whole branch of psychology dedicated to the study of personality) against the difficulty in distilling it down for this conversation while a mere student myself, I'd be inclined to stop while I'm still ahead. (And do I think you'll lock on that last part? Yes. )
So I'll try to address your comments but aggregate them a bit to simplify, hopefully without losing their general direction.
Personality traits tend to be consistent more or less throughout life, rather evenly influenced by both nature and nurture (environment) but they change and evolve and can be reactive to all sorts of influences, too many to list in a short conversation like this.
If you think of introversion and extroversion as traits which have degrees (more gray) and not types (more black and white), it might be easier if you know that I see them as traits, as sliding scales which have a certain predictability and yet a variability. In that light, you as an extrovert might be more introverted in some areas, or in reaction to some situational variables - and I the reverse. What stimulates you may exhaust me - that is, until I reach my perfect convergence.
And when you think of intro- and extroversion as traits, it might be easier to see that while the terms are general guides that they shouldn't be either self-limiting or stereotyped, because humans are just so much more mysterious and complicated than that. The whole idea of self-identity is a huge area of interest for me, and one that I have no doubt will occupy a good, if not major part of my post-grad study. I guess I'm resistant to seeing these ideas oversimplified in such a way that people are either elevated or dismissed based on terminology that's much more nebulous than it might seem.
"Harder" implies that introversion is softer, and I'm wondering how you came by that.And that would be a marked and entirely understandable difference from someone in the harder end of the extrovert pool, who gains energy from the experience.
Maybe it's only funny to the one seated on the throne.I think that's an interesting perspective, but it's not one native to me. Which is funny when you think about it.
I think that's semantics. Daydreaming about the use of money and power is still daydreaming about money and power. And I'm not knocking it, it just piqued my interest. People do change over time, I do agree with that, and their traits, while basically stable, are still on that sliding bipolar scale and can change in both the macro (life in general generates changes in us as we react to it) and the micro (situational, developmental, etc. where we're changed by various factors, but we can also exert some control over environment).Sort of and depending. Hollywood, novels, television are all speaking to fame, to the potential for greatness in anyone, the chance to change the course of other lives through one means or another. I don't think we're all Walter Mitty, but I suspect there's more than a little of him in most of us who aren't Buddhists. That said, I didn't say daydream about money and power, but about the use of them. And I think what changes over time in most people who live in a way that evolves them is the particular application. So a kid may dream of being a great athlete or rock star or novelist, etc. where the adult imagines beyond that into the point and impact of it.
Maybe, maybe not. It depends. On a purely personal level, I'm much more drawn to quiet power.No. I'd be surprised if Bill Gates was an extrovert. But I'd bet introversion is an impediment in attaining that sort of power that requires bringing in investment and rallying troops and support.
That's the nature of the psychology beast, I think.I think you're doing fine holding that line. But it's hard for me not to speak in generalities on the topic, even if the problem with generalities is how they have an annoying habit of breaking down in application.
Distinction noted, but still troubling.Not in general for either, but in the particular application I was speaking to, yes. That is, I think an introvert would be less effective as, say, a motivational speaker, on the whole. I've noticed that the best pastors I've known were extroverts, but many of the best preachers I've heard self described as introverts. I had a conversation with our Presbyterian minister on the point. He's a published and successful author and a great listen, but really has to work at the pastoral part, because it's contrary to his nature, the politics and gatherings in close quarters. He's much more at home in the pulpit and the quiet of his study.
While I understand your point, I don't agree it's necessarily true in all cases. If I were on a jury I'd already be wary of the person that I knew was there in part to manipulate me and if he seemed too comfortable on center stage, it would almost be a detriment to his winning me over (and I'm aware that's a personality thing, so we've come full circle :chuckle.I don't believe it is entirely. But I'm fairly certain that my enjoyment of center stage gives me an advantage with, say, a jury. That's really an audience and they're going to sense my comfort or interest and respond to that.
Regardless of how the party analogy came about, the bolded is the issue. Without assuming any negative intent on your part at all, your speculation just doesn't sit well with me. It implies that an introvert comes here seeking to be more like an extrovert and so by extension, you see extroversion as the good end to be sought after, leaving introversion as something less.No, that was you. I mean you began the party analogy with:
And I responded with: "Reasonable enough...and yet you know better and don't communicate exclusively by means that would guarantee that outcome and particular."
Which was my way of noting that you aren't really in a corner out of the general eye on a forum like this, absent PMs and maybe sealed profile pages. None of the regularly posting introverts are.
You responded with:
Which I didn't know what to make of and
And I noted: And yet you have the conversation at a party. Or, if you only want to talk to a person there are ways to do that. So I think there has to be more to it than that...which is why I initially speculated that this was a good place for introverts to behave more as an extrovert would, absent some of the things that would otherwise be more distracting, like the actual physical presence of a crowd, instead of the knowledge that people would filter by and read at one point or another.
I can't fault you for the curiosity and surprise and wondering why and what. That's all good. I just balk at being told my why and what.No, more curious and a bit surprised to find so many here of the introvert persuasion and wondering aloud why that was and what it meant.
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