do most people marry the wrong person?

[serpentdove]

Husbands, stop being perverted feminists. Give yourself for her and Christ gave himself for the church...

There is nothing more unattractive than

a feminist male (Prov. 31:27; 1 Tim. 5:14). lain:

 

[Nick M]

There is nothing more unattractive than

a feminist male (Prov. 31:27; 1 Tim. 5:14). lain:

Except a butch lesbian.

 

[meshak]

Christian divorce rate is as bad as secular world.

 

[Desert Reign]

Christian divorce rate is as bad as secular world.

Your evidence?

 

[Interplanner]

One thing I never resolved when I heard the above 'same as' statistic was the impact of serial remarriage on the statistic. My hunch is that serial remarriage is much lower in Christian circles, certainly if we qualify Christian with 'with a high view of Scripture.'

Meaning that the repeat is much higher in non-Christian population. If so, then individuals might divorce at the same rate in both populations, but Christians would be much lower on remarrying. I don't know if or how those repeats were counted.

 

[Desert Reign]

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Husbands, stop being perverted feminists. Give yourself for her aa Christ gave himself for the church. The love Paul is describing is serving, not emotions. Afterall, you can't just turn them on.

Ephesians 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved (served) the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Yes, thank you. If we choose a person, then we are in effect turning the success of our marriage over to the rightness of that one person, which is an abdication of our own responsibility: whereas in reality its success will depend largely on our joint determination to make it succeed from day to day.

 

[Desert Reign]

I read somewhere that 5,231,635 people got married last year. I'm not trying to be funny but shouldn't that be an even number?

 

[meshak]

Your evidence?

It has been reported and I can believe it. all you have to do is to look all around churchgoers.

I have joined several major denominations and it was sad to see their not taking marriage bow seriously.

Worse yet, they endorse remarriage without their ex spouse deceased.

Some denominations hire divorced pastors.

 

[Desert Reign]

It has been reported and I can believe it. all you have to do is to look all around churchgoers.

I have joined several major denominations and it was sad to see their not taking marriage bow seriously.

Worse yet, they endorse remarriage without their ex spouse deceased.

Some denominations hire divorced pastors.

That's not an answer. If you made a claim you should be prepared to support it. What, then is the evidence that Christian divorce rates are the same as secular ones?
Or perhaps it would make simpler reading if you said that it was just your own subjective opinion? I'm not trying to be aggressive, I just want to give you an alternative that doesn't involve exaggeration.

 

[meshak]

That's not an answer. If you made a claim you should be prepared to support it. What, then is the evidence that Christian divorce rates are the same as secular ones?
Or perhaps it would make simpler reading if you said that it was just your own subjective opinion? I'm not trying to be aggressive, I just want to give you an alternative that doesn't involve exaggeration.

Ok, I take responsibility for my spreading.

My point is most churches don't take marriage bows seriously, not even RCC.

My son got married catholic girl. The church did not care want kind of man she is marrying to. I know he was not serious Christian. I knew she was not either. But church did not care. They officiated their marriage without knowing whom they are marrying.

the got divorced in one year.

I got married when I was a non-believer at my husband's church. They did not care my non-believing position. My husband did not get any education about the marriage.

Of course, we did not have happy and healthy marriage nor family.

I believe non-trin churches take marriage bows seriously.

 

[Lon]

it seems to me that most people marry the wrong person

if this were not so.. how to explain the divorce rate?

It seems that most people marry the first or second person they fall in love with... but love goes away.. over sometimes the most petty reasons... or what would seem to be petty reasons... God knows...

anyway... marriage is hard b/c it is 2 people living together, 2 people who already have one HUGE difference: one is male, one female... can't get any bigger difference than that...


so... yeh, I think people get married too quickly. I have never been married... been in a relationship or 2 but never got to the altar..

i have been in love many times... but always reality intervened...



___

"If" this were so, then Christ only died for the wonderful and the beautiful.

Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:15-33 ).

When Genesis talks about "one flesh" the intent is that we understand the "flesh of my flesh" truth of marriage. Ephesians 5:29 takes it to the end of the idea: "No man hated his own flesh." It means that we are too segregated in our thinking. We are not islands as people. Romans 8 and esp Romans 12:5 even goes so far as to say that as members of church, Christ's body, each member belongs to all the others.

Those not in Christ will not understand this to this degree, though they understand the 'brotherhood of man.' It doesn't necessarily translate to philanthropy and kinship for them, however.

We who are spiritual, are called to even love our enemies.

Summation: Because we are called to love others, certainly loving our spouse as ourselves is paramount to understanding both the reality of God saying "He/she is your own flesh!" and that this relationship/union is a direct correlation/illustration of the way God continues to hold onto us!

If we all understood this more, among the faithful, there would be a significant reduction in divorces among us.

It is my suggestion/opinion that we understand Romans 8 (briefly summed in Romans 8:5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.) and thus that we are spiritual with spiritual expectations concerning our actions, that we reflect on the nature of God and His relationship to us.

We may mess that picture up at times, but love covers a multitude of mess-ups (sins). Because of that, I know I'll be married the rest of my life here. Love covers. God created my marriage. I'm commanded to love. Etc. It isn't just how I 'feel' but how I demand my feelings fall in-line with Christ. We 'become' lovers simply by loving Christ. That continues to stimulate our love for one another.

 

[Nick M]

Your evidence?

She is making it up, as usual. The very first hit on google gave us this.

Catholic couples were 31% less likely to divorce; Protestant couples 35% less likely; and Jewish couples 97% less likely, which in itself is quite impressive, I must say...1. This study also finds that religiously unaffiliated Americans, and counties with higher shares of unaffiliated Americans, are the most likely to divorce. So, religion per se is not the problem and, indeed, secularism seems to be more conducive towards divorce than conservative Protestantism.

2. A new article by sociologist Charles Stokes in www.family-studies.org suggests that the problem here is mainly with nominal conservative Protestants—those who attend rarely or never. It's these nominal conservative Protestants—e.g., the Southern Baptist couple in Texas who rarely darken the door of a church—who are much more likely to divorce.

meshak is a like the Southpark character, Miss Information.

 

[Rusha]

I believe non-trin churches take marriage bows seriously.

And you would be wrong ....

Then again, that is what happens when you use lazy generalizations.

The pastor of the *Trin* church I had attended (since a teen) refused to marry couples in his congregation prior to them completing couple's counseling.

 

[IMJerusha]

And you would be wrong ....

Then again, that is what happens when you use lazy generalizations.

The pastor of the *Trin* church I had attended (since a teen) refused to marry couples in his congregation prior to them completing couple's counseling.

We've all been guilty of lazy generalizations.

I don't believe that the Trinitarian doctrine has anything to do with it but many Christians believe that some doctrines take us away from living Godly lives. I hold this belief myself because Scripture supports that belief. There are a lot of Christian leaders stating that the Christian divorce rate is equal to the non-Christian. This could depend on the fact that there is a necessity to live according to the faith, not just claim the faith. We have to consider the number of people who identify as Christian but don't live as Christian.

 

[IMJerusha]

it seems to me that most people marry the wrong person

if this were not so.. how to explain the divorce rate?

It seems that most people marry the first or second person they fall in love with... but love goes away.. over sometimes the most petty reasons... or what would seem to be petty reasons... God knows...

anyway... marriage is hard b/c it is 2 people living together, 2 people who already have one HUGE difference: one is male, one female... can't get any bigger difference than that...


so... yeh, I think people get married too quickly. I have never been married... been in a relationship or 2 but never got to the altar..

i have been in love many times... but always reality intervened...



___

I've never understood why non-believers bother to get married since it's an institution ordained by God. I think people marry for the wrong reasons and in many cases marry the wrong person. I would explain the divorce rate in one word...sin.

 

[Rusha]

We've all been guilty of lazy generalizations.

Speak for yourself. It's annoying and used as a way to bolster an argument that cannot stand on it's own merit.

I don't believe that the Trinitarian doctrine has anything to do with it

Which is exactly why I said what I did. Every church I have ever attended and been a member of has preached the Trinity.

They also consider marriage a serious commitment, not to be taken lightly.

 

[IMJerusha]

Speak for yourself.

I was including myself.

It's annoying and used as a way to bolster an argument that cannot stand on it's own merit.

And everyone here has been guilty of it at one time or another. The threads are rife with example.

Which is exactly why I said what I did. Every church I have ever attended and been a member of has preached the Trinity.

Then you have attended churches which have formed on the platform set by the First Council of Nicaea but not all churches followed that or follow it now.

They also consider marriage a serious commitment, not to be taken lightly.

Then they should cease upholding divorce but for cases of adultery/marital unfaithfulness.

 

[glorydaz]

You are to remain silent in public. True story. Do you do it? There is a context to this and it pertains to TOL. You are a classic example of the need for it.

Do you do it, or do you embarrass your husband? Or is he a feminist and is glad you run your mouth promoting evil?

Oh boy......the feminists are going to come out of the woodwork now. :rotfl:


I don't know about her husband, but this one and a couple of others certainly embarrass me.

 

[Rusha]

Then they should cease upholding divorce but for cases of adultery/marital unfaithfulness.

Outside of booting a member from their church, it is not their choice to make.

 

[Nick M]

I've never understood why non-believers bother to get married since it's an institution ordained by God.

Shall I connect the dots for you? :smokie: