again, what started this was the following scenarios, in which the woman should have known that their actions put them at risk:
Fair point. :idunno:
Herewith, a Philadelphia magazine report about Swarthmore College, where in 2013 a student “was in her room with a guy with whom she’d been hooking up for three months”:
“They’d now decided — mutually, she thought — just to be friends. When he ended up falling asleep on her bed, she changed into pajamas and climbed in next to him. Soon, he was putting his arm around her and taking off her clothes. ‘I basically said, “No, I don’t want to have sex with you.” And then he said, “OK, that’s fine” and stopped. . . . And then he started again a few minutes later, taking off my panties, taking off his boxers. I just kind of laid there and didn’t do anything — I had already said no. I was just tired and wanted to go to bed. I let him finish. I pulled my panties back on and went to sleep.’”
Six weeks later, the woman reported that she had been raped.
Y'know what? I am going to have to disagree with you. This is not simply a case of a woman putting herself at a high risk of being raped. This is a case of a woman
not being raped.
Let me be clear, for any who may have read the "no means no" thread. This is not, to my mind, an instance of a woman who has said "no" but means "yes." This is the case of a woman who has said "no," but otherwise is expressing: "I really, really, really don't want to, but if you
insist, I shall comply."
If she was opposed to sexual contact, there are any number of things that she reasonably could have and should have done. 1. She could have kicked him out of the apartment. 2. She could have gotten out of bed. 3. She could have threatened to call the police.
Look at how she phrases things: "I let him." That implies consent, albeit very reluctantly and grudgingly given. To my mind, objectively speaking, she has engaged in an act of fornication. She wasn't raped.
Let me be clear: the guy is not blameless. His actions
approach rape. Even granted that they should not have been sharing a bed, engaging in a sexual relationship, etc., even so, he should have stopped when she said "no."
Nonetheless, as stated, he didn't force her, and there was no threat of violence.
A female student in the dorms invited a male friend over to her dorm room. They were in the room alone with the door closed. He had just come from playing basketball and was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, she was wearing flannel jammies. They started making out on her bed, his hands went places she was ok with at first, but then thought better of and tried to stop. He didn't stop and continued, she didn't cry out for help and afterwards claimed rape. |
in those two specific cases (and an awful lot of scenarios that are being discussed on campus at the moment) i am still of the opinion that the choices the women made were directly responsible for the consequences
They certainly do bear some degree of responsibility. How do we cash this out? I'm not entirely sure.
they chose paths that any reasonable person would have known would lead to an expectation of sex from the male
Yes.
the choices/behaviors/actions of the woman were directly responsible for her finding herself in a position of having started something she couldn't stop, or wasn't willing to stop
that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped
that doesn't me she was asking to be raped
what it means is that she was acting like a damn fool
If she "wasn't willing to stop," I'm not entirely sure that we should even call it rape, nor do I even think that it should be legally classified as such. If there's no threat of violence, and if she doesn't put up resistance, her lack of resistance and silence, to my mind, constitutes some degree of consent. :idunno:
That said, Okdozer, and I do wish to insist on this: rape often has nothing to do with sexual appetite. It's often about power and control. Often, rape is not, strictly speaking, a crime of sexual passion. It's an act of violence/terrorism.