I am not under the law, the old school master/tutor---I am under Christ my Teacher and Lord.
Then you're still on the wrong side of the cross, because those who believe are no longer under a any schoolmaster. Believers have no need for a schoolmaster, as Paul tells us in Galatians. We have the indwelling Spirit.
Jesus taught the law while he walked this earth, and that's why you're confused, and think you have to obey. Then he went to the cross and accomplished what the law could not do.
Romans 8:3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:
You don't seem to believe our Lord accomplished the only obedience that would not fall short of the glory of God, and was adequate for every sin every person in the world would ever commit. He said "It is finished", but you think you have to keep performing (even though we all can see you fail at every turn).