ECT A Question For Tambora

[ok doser]

So, any man in a similar situation should automatically look to blame himself first?

it's always the man's fault (to a feminist)

 

[elohiym]

It's never the man's fault (to a misogynist).

 

[ok doser]

I don't know what the terms of such a policy are, but it sounds to me like you have described. Love of money. My guess is that it provides benefit to the well partner for support in the event the unwell partner is ill, as well as the basic benefit of medical protection to the unwell one. I would say this was a contract of indemnity and the benefit is lost if the interest ceases.
But I would add, that surely such joint policies can be taken out by non-married people? For example, homosexual couples or, more commonly, common-law husband and wife. I am almost certain that an insurance company would look at the substance of the relationship to determine insurable interest, not the legal technical status of it. So in this case it would not matter if he was divorced or not. It would be the fact of separation that caused the interest to cease. The divorce paper is a technicality from an insurer's perspective.
Again, love of money apparently, seeking to rely on a technicality to obtain a financial benefit.

my options were:

1. delay finalizing my civil divorce so that my children (who were living with me) and I could continue on my wife's health insurance - there was some question at the time whether I could continue to be covered on the policy if our divorce was finalized, and whether my children could continue to be covered if they were not living with their mother

2. seek health insurance coverage for myself and my children through Medicare/Medicaid/social services

I chose 1, which, for some reason, really really bothers tam :idunno:




but that's not why I started this thread

 

[elohiym]

Self examination is good for the soul in almost any situation.
This is not to place blame but rather to gain understanding.

Wisdom.

 

[ok doser]

It's never the man's fault (to a misogynist).

perhaps both of us shared fault (for the failure of the marriage)

the decision to commit adultery, however, was solely my wife's

 

[patrick jane]

WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS.

I always talk with kindness and reason things out with my wife.

DO YOU YELL AT HER TOO ?

 

[Tambora]

it's always the man's fault (to a feminist)

It's always the woman's fault (to a misogynist).

 

[Interplanner]

"Marriages can survive adultery; however, they seldom survive spite." --Dennis Prager

 

[elohiym]

My wife committed adultery and left me.

Do you think I should have continued to "cling to her"?

Did she have any grounds for joining with another man? For example, if a man commits adultery, the wife is free to leave. After she leaves, that man can't accuse her of committing adultery. She was allowed to leave the first man for the cause of sexual immorality.

If so, can you provide scriptural support that a man should continue to cling to his wife if she commits adultery and leaves him?

Matthew 7:12. Don't forgive if you don't want to be forgiven.

 

[ClimateSanity]

It's never the man's fault (to a misogynist).

Let him who.has no sin be the first to cast a stone.

 

[ClimateSanity]

Did she have any grounds for joining with another man? For example, if a man commits adultery, the wife is free to leave. After she leaves, that man can't accuse her of committing adultery. She was allowed to leave the first man for the cause of sexual immorality.



Matthew 7:12. Don't forgive if you don't want to be forgiven.

Don't make assumptions if you truly seek to understand a matter.

 

[elohiym]

perhaps both of us shared fault (for the failure of the marriage)

It happens.

the decision to commit adultery, however, was solely my wife's

Of course, she is responsible for her actions.

You didn't deserve that, did you?

 

[elohiym]

Don't make assumptions if you truly seek to understand a matter.

I shouldn't assume people deserve to be raped, murdered and cheated on? Then why do you?

 

[ClimateSanity]

I shouldn't assume people deserve to be raped, murdered and cheated on? Then why do you?

I don't. Please don't make false statements concerning me.

 

[elohiym]

I don't. Please don't make false statements concerning me.

I was under the impression you believed that based on the side of the argument you were on in our rape discussions. It seemed your side was arguing that a woman could defraud a man by what she wears and then reap the consequence of rape. You should have been more clear and set yourself apart from those that were clearly arguing that some women deserve to be raped.

 

[elohiym]

So doser ...

You didn't deserve that, did you?

 

[ClimateSanity]

I was under the impression you believed that based on the side of the argument you were on in our rape discussions. It seemed your side was arguing that a woman could defraud a man by what she wears and then reap the consequence of rape. You should have been more clear and set yourself apart from those that were clearly arguing that some women deserve to be raped.

Women should not defraud men. Women should not knowingly provoke a man to lust. Women should never knowingly lead a man to think sex is a possibility when it isn't. Some actions and lifestyles have a greater risk of rape than others even though the lack of those actions will not always prevent a rape. No godly person knowingly puts themselves at greater risk of rape. That being said, women should not have to go out of their way to lessen the risk of rape.

I always felt that way and the "side" I was on was the only side not giving me hell for those positions. A person must make assumptions based on those positions in order to charge me with stated charge.

 

[Desert Reign]

my options were:

1. delay finalizing my civil divorce so that my children (who were living with me) and I could continue on my wife's health insurance - there was some question at the time whether I could continue to be covered on the policy if our divorce was finalized, and whether my children could continue to be covered if they were not living with their mother

If you or your children were no longer living with her, then in my view you did not qualify for her benefits.

2. seek health insurance coverage for myself and my children through Medicare/Medicaid/social services

If you had a job, why not get your own health insurance in your own name? If not, there is no shame in seeking state benefits.

I chose 1, which, for some reason, really really bothers tam :idunno:

What I suspect bothers her is that you made a decision and asked TOL members to justify it, indicating a guilty conscience.

 

[ok doser]

If you or your children were no longer living with her, then in my view you did not qualify for her benefits.

the insurance company disagreed

If you had a job, why not get your own health insurance in your own name? If not, there is no shame in seeking state benefits.

I did not have a job

What I suspect bothers her is that you made a decision and asked TOL members to justify it, indicating a guilty conscience.

what makes you think I was/am asking TOL members to "justify" anything I do?

 

[ok doser]

WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS.

I always talk with kindness and reason things out with my wife.

ironically, having her move out was the best thing that could have happened for us and for the kids - the stress and rancor that we had accepted as normal disappeared and my household (just me and the kids) became a happy place again

desperately poor, but happier than when we had been a double income household