What tribe am I from?

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
You’re welcome! It’s just I have this uncle I've tried to help who thinks he’s channeling... well, let’s not go there.

As to scripture, thank you, and you’d be flabbergasted how much of the Old Testament I’m familiar with, but let’s keep it simple I just don’t know nuthin’, compared to the plethora of august, legendary scholars of TOL, a few of whom can also spell. I confess to going full New Testament incorrigible long ago, after all being just a dirty little gentile to begin with, still think of a feast as a cheeseburger, with fries when feeling a tinge suicidal, avoid calendars, if I did care would take great pride in being what Adventists call “a Sunday devil”, and I much like Jews, but wouldn’t want to be one, this more for a lifestyle uncluttered by unnecessary details and funny sounding words. After all, even Paul got to a place where he didn’t want his freedom snatched, moreso most of my life didn’t even know what a felafel is, you must understand. Ceremonial robes look ridiculous enough on Catholics, could go on and on, but will spare you that, will not even launch into anti-legalistic Christian scripture, which I’m sorely tempted to do, but sometimes feel it may be impolite to fill multiple screens, in one post.

Anyway, this isn’t about me. I’m strongly thinking President for you. Ambiguously Jewish Christian Gentile, from an ancient Mexican American tribe? In 2020, throw in the peyote, that would surely constitute a solid platform.

I’ll vote in 2020, if you run.

Peace, man.
Shalom.

A person does not need to run for President to become President.

I used to be a Gentile.

I am against peyote.

Shalom.

Jacob
 
Shalom.

A person does not need to run for President to become President.

I used to be a Gentile.

I am against peyote.

Shalom.

Jacob

That's good, being against the peyote, could make you a front runner in the field of ambiguous conservatives. So, since a President doesn't run in your economy, you can not run on an anti-peyote platform, though you may lose votes from some of your fellow native Mexicans. You could also be putting too much emphasis on the peyote, since you could become pro-peyote once you're elected, have it for breakfast in the Oval Office for all anybody will then care, as long as nobody cancels network football, bread and circuses, you know, suppose it all depends on how many votes are in the competing peyote lobbies. I'd be thinking in these terms, for when you don't run for President, and, like your not being a Gentile anymore, believe you're good politician material. You'd make John Kerry green with envy he didn't think of that, "I was a Gentile, before I wasn't a Gentile." Though I believe Kerry was more concerned about the Iranian vote. Maybe that was a bad example. Never mind.

Mazel tov.
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
That's good, being against the peyote, could make you a front runner in the field of ambiguous conservatives. So, since a President doesn't run in your economy, you can not run on an anti-peyote platform, though you may lose votes from some of your fellow native Mexicans. You could also be putting too much emphasis on the peyote, since you could become pro-peyote once you're elected, have it for breakfast in the Oval Office for all anybody will then care, as long as nobody cancels network football, bread and circuses, you know, suppose it all depends on how many votes are in the competing peyote lobbies. I'd be thinking in these terms, for when you don't run for President, and, like your not being a Gentile anymore, believe you're good politician material. You'd make John Kerry green with envy he didn't think of that, "I was a Gentile, before I wasn't a Gentile." Though I believe Kerry was more concerned about the Iranian vote. Maybe that was a bad example. Never mind.

Mazel tov.
Shalom. I observe Torah, which means that I am of Israel. The Gentiles are not Jewish and not of Israel. I am a citizen of the United States of America.

I am not a liberal and not a Republican. I do believe, so far as I understand this correctly or rightly, in a representative form of government for the United States of America. I support the Constitution of the United States of America. At the same time being of Israel I see the wisdom in not making any agreement with foreign powers.

I do not believe that I need to belong to any political party.

Shalom.

Jacob
 
Shalom. I observe Torah, which means that I am of Israel. The Gentiles are not Jewish and not of Israel. I am a citizen of the United States of America.

I am not a liberal and not a Republican. I do believe, so far as I understand this correctly or rightly, in a representative form of government for the United States of America. I support the Constitution of the United States of America. At the same time being of Israel I see the wisdom in not making any agreement with foreign powers.

I do not believe that I need to belong to any political party.

Shalom.

Jacob

Parties are a crock. You aren’t going to be able to successfully not run for President without funding, though. You are going to have enormous forces against you, like all the transgender and homosexual peyote eaters who are going to demand Christians bake peyote cakes and demand some liberal on the Supreme Court that hallucinates.

Being against drugs, generally, you can’t go liberal, so you’re going to have to go with the Republicans. Just do the anti-peyote platform, but include how you’d also like to bomb a lot more brown people overseas, be vague, so as not to alienate conservative women pregnant by their gardeners, but do make comments here and there, on the side, abortion may not be very nice, being sure to also strongly come out against prenatal care, and make it abundantly clear poor babies, who are breathing, are on their own. Besides, they’ll have you bombing brown people, anyway. Once you’re elected, you can then concentrate on ex-Gentile policy matters, maybe just declare your own tribe by executive order, like you already do your Israel identity. I’d adopt a new name, maybe something like Eliezer ben Byfiat.

Myself, I’d like to be of the Lakota tribe, always liked the Indians more than the cowboys. I’d have even said to heck with the long blond hair curse thing and have scalped Custer, myself. He really wasn’t a very nice man.

Brings to mind, before you declare your tribe, you may want to study how many bad Jews were in the tribe you’re thinking of. Many think there’s something funky about Dan, even that antichrist will come from Dan, but I think it’s more likely they diluted their blood with strange Philistine women, until you can’t tell a Danite from, well, the likes of an ex-Gentile from the U.S.
 

S-word

BANNED
Banned
Shalom.

I do not know how to answer you.

Manasseh was not born to Jacob.

I do not know that I know about a Great Seal of the United States of America.

There are 13 stripes in the U.S. flag. The unanswered question is "What is a stripe?".

The fifty stars are for the fifty states.

I do not know what you mean by olive branches or arrows.

You may be talking about coincidences.

Shalom.

Jacob

Genesis 48:5-6New King James Version (NKJV) 5 And now your two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. 6 Your offspring whom you beget after them shall be yours; they will be called by the name of their brothers in their inheritance.

Jacob adopted Ephraim and Manasseh as his own sons, dividing Joseph into two tribes, because Dan was sterile as many descendants of his mother 'Bilhah' were, and he had adopted his little sister 'Hushim,' who was conceived by his mother from the rape of Reuben the first born of Israel.

Making the tribe of Dan, which issued from Hushim the first born child of Reuben, who is the first born of Jacob, the first born of the 13 tribes of Israel.

For this reason, The tribe of Dan is not counted among the 144,000 chosen from the other 12 tribes, as Jesus was not counted as one of the 12 apostles.
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
Parties are a crock. You aren’t going to be able to successfully not run for President without funding, though. You are going to have enormous forces against you, like all the transgender and homosexual peyote eaters who are going to demand Christians bake peyote cakes and demand some liberal on the Supreme Court that hallucinates.

Being against drugs, generally, you can’t go liberal, so you’re going to have to go with the Republicans. Just do the anti-peyote platform, but include how you’d also like to bomb a lot more brown people overseas, be vague, so as not to alienate conservative women pregnant by their gardeners, but do make comments here and there, on the side, abortion may not be very nice, being sure to also strongly come out against prenatal care, and make it abundantly clear poor babies, who are breathing, are on their own. Besides, they’ll have you bombing brown people, anyway. Once you’re elected, you can then concentrate on ex-Gentile policy matters, maybe just declare your own tribe by executive order, like you already do your Israel identity. I’d adopt a new name, maybe something like Eliezer ben Byfiat.

Myself, I’d like to be of the Lakota tribe, always liked the Indians more than the cowboys. I’d have even said to heck with the long blond hair curse thing and have scalped Custer, myself. He really wasn’t a very nice man.

Brings to mind, before you declare your tribe, you may want to study how many bad Jews were in the tribe you’re thinking of. Many think there’s something funky about Dan, even that antichrist will come from Dan, but I think it’s more likely they diluted their blood with strange Philistine women, until you can’t tell a Danite from, well, the likes of an ex-Gentile from the U.S.
Shalom.

I do not want to bomb anyone. I do not have a platform to run for President. I was not thinking of a tribe.

Do you consider Levi to be a tribe? I do not know what tribe I am from or what tribe I belong to.

I am against drugs. You are right about that.

I am for God, His law, and everyone in the United States of America. This includes native Americans.

Shalom.

Jacob
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
Genesis 48:5-6New King James Version (NKJV) 5 And now your two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. 6 Your offspring whom you beget after them shall be yours; they will be called by the name of their brothers in their inheritance.

Jacob adopted Ephraim and Manasseh as his own sons, dividing Joseph into two tribes, because Dan was sterile as many descendants of his mother 'Bilhah' were, and he had adopted his little sister 'Hushim,' who was conceived by his mother from the rape of Reuben the first born of Israel.

Making the tribe of Dan, which issued from Hushim the first born child of Reuben, who is the first born of Jacob, the first born of the 13 tribes of Israel.

For this reason, The tribe of Dan is not counted among the 144,000 chosen from the other 12 tribes, as Jesus was not counted as one of the 12 apostles.
Shalom.

I cannot accept what you have said here. I do accept the scripture and I hope that you are seeing it rightly.

Shalom.

Jacob
 
Shalom.

I do not want to bomb anyone. I do not have a platform to run for President. I was not thinking of a tribe.

Do you consider Levi to be a tribe? I do not know what tribe I am from or what tribe I belong to.

I am against drugs. You are right about that.

I am for God, His law, and everyone in the United States of America. This includes native Americans.

Shalom.

Jacob

I usually think of Levi in terms of blue jeans, but the Bible considers Levi a tribe, one of the twelve sons of Jacob Moses and Aaron arose from, which I fear probably trumps anything whatsoever I may say involving apparel.

Glad you’re against bombing, however unAmerican that may be. I’m against it, too, as well as drugs. Can’t say I’m for all Americans, everyone, as you put it, but maybe you’ve not met all your neighbors yet. Not that I don’t wish everyone well, of course, that’s not the case, but I also wish some people would go away, who have me searching scripture for some industrial strength gospel I must have missed for, metaphorically, really stopped-up drains, but that’s whining and besides the point.

You did say this, “I would like to be a Rabbi, a priest or a Levitical priest, or the President of the United States of America.” Then you say you have no platform! You have to have a platform of some sort. You at least have to be ready to tell crowds of people they won’t be poor, fat and ugly for much longer. You’re also now saying you’re not thinking about a tribe, though you made a thread about your tribe, or lack thereof. You’re beginning to sound as crazy as somebody who escaped from the attic, which is a real shame, as this makes you such a good candidate for President. Would you not reconsider running?
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
I usually think of Levi in terms of blue jeans, but the Bible considers Levi a tribe, one of the twelve sons of Jacob Moses and Aaron arose from, which I fear probably trumps anything whatsoever I may say involving apparel.

Glad you’re against bombing, however unAmerican that may be. I’m against it, too, as well as drugs. Can’t say I’m for all Americans, everyone, as you put it, but maybe you’ve not met all your neighbors yet. Not that I don’t wish everyone well, of course, that’s not the case, but I also wish some people would go away, who have me searching scripture for some industrial strength gospel I must have missed for, metaphorically, really stopped-up drains, but that’s whining and besides the point.

You did say this, “I would like to be a Rabbi, a priest or a Levitical priest, or the President of the United States of America.” Then you say you have no platform! You have to have a platform of some sort. You at least have to be ready to tell crowds of people they won’t be poor, fat and ugly for much longer. You’re also now saying you’re not thinking about a tribe, though you made a thread about your tribe, or lack thereof. You’re beginning to sound as crazy as somebody who escaped from the attic, which is a real shame, as this makes you such a good candidate for President. Would you not reconsider running?
Shalom.

The United States of America needs to repent as a nation.

A person does not need to have a platform or run for President to become the President.

If I am not the President now, I am open to being the President in the future. I do not see why I would need to run for President.

I am old enough to be the President, and I am a citizen of the United States of America, having been born here.

Shalom.

Jacob
 
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