8 Years Of Republican Predictions About Obama Have Literally All Come True
REPUBLICAN HEAVEN- Republicans are finally embracing the phrase “I told you so” as the last prediction about Obama has come true. The United States has seen gas prices spike to $12 per gallon under Sharia Law, and Obamacare has plunged the economy into the second Great Depression falling from a record 18,000 to a meager 112 and leaving ACORN the only viable stock.
“I knew it was the beginning of the end when Obama bypassed Congress and made this a communist nation, but when he implanted microchips in our skin and took our guns, I knew it was all over” said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.
Many Americans grew concerned when McCain won by a landslide yet Obama still took office swearing in on the Koran, but the alarm bells really sounded when Romney won by a landslide and Obama retained office by declaring himself king.
“My parents were both killed by Obamacare death panels” local resident Robin Zendejas tearfully told National Report before checking her surroundings at Planned Parenthood and asking, “Is this the forced abortion line? I was looking for the forced gay marriage line.”
Probably most troubling is the fact that Iran is just months away from obtaining nuclear weapons and has been since 2008. Obama’s new deal with Iran put the last nail in the coffin for America as it paved the way for Iran to receive the largest weapons cache since Reagan. “Sure, we had to give up our centrifuges and agree to rigorous inspections”, said the Ayatollah, “but if the NRA has taught us anything, it’s that we can only achieve safety when everyone has weapons.”
With the auto industry dead, unemployment has reached over 50% and Americans are turning in desperation to FEMA death camps for employment which are strategically located near the recently overtaken Wal-Marts Obama seized during Operation Jade Helm.
“If I can’t get a job putting old people to death, I might as well get a job locking them up. Martial law isn’t really all that bad if you’re the jailer” said local resident Matt Weaver.
Riding high on perfect predictions, Republicans are now rallying around Donald Trump with complete confidence that he will not only beat Hillary Clinton in 2016, but take the House and Senate and definitely won’t do anything to embarrass the party like saying something extremely racist or let the dead fox fall off his head during the debates.