MUSLIM TERRORISTS RAMPAGE IN BAKERSFIELD
At approximately 10:00 a.m. MST a group of a six Syrian men claiming to be members of ISIS stormed into the local IHOP restaurant in Bakersfield, California and began randomly attacking the patrons gouging their eyes out with spoons while shouting “Allah Akbar”. Several patrons began to defend themselves with their own spoons and soon subdued the attackers. One patron said “ Thank God I was having soup, I don't think my tea spoon would have held up.”
Upon hearing of the attack, Senator Feinstein called for an immediate moratorium on the sale and manufacture of spoons. Governor Brown declared a state of emergency and directed all state and local law enforcement to increase patrols around all retail food establishments. He also reiterated Senator Feinstein's concern about the sale and manufacture of spoons. President Obama was not immediately available for comment but a White House spokesman said, “While the President does not condone violence in any form, it would be unfortunate if we let this tragedy cause us to be prejudicial in how we treat any group of people, most especially Muslims extremists. The president also feels that, while it might be premature to move to ban the sale and manufacture of spoons the matter does deserve some consideration.”
At approximately 10:00 a.m. MST a group of a six Syrian men claiming to be members of ISIS stormed into the local IHOP restaurant in Bakersfield, California and began randomly attacking the patrons gouging their eyes out with spoons while shouting “Allah Akbar”. Several patrons began to defend themselves with their own spoons and soon subdued the attackers. One patron said “ Thank God I was having soup, I don't think my tea spoon would have held up.”
Upon hearing of the attack, Senator Feinstein called for an immediate moratorium on the sale and manufacture of spoons. Governor Brown declared a state of emergency and directed all state and local law enforcement to increase patrols around all retail food establishments. He also reiterated Senator Feinstein's concern about the sale and manufacture of spoons. President Obama was not immediately available for comment but a White House spokesman said, “While the President does not condone violence in any form, it would be unfortunate if we let this tragedy cause us to be prejudicial in how we treat any group of people, most especially Muslims extremists. The president also feels that, while it might be premature to move to ban the sale and manufacture of spoons the matter does deserve some consideration.”
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