I think you are firmly stuck and glued to the personality. Don't you realize this is what makes us feel conflict, turmoil, disagreement, enmity, and worthlessness? Feel the intensity of that stuckness. That is the same intensity which the enemy has us in its grip. Most aren't even aware of it to be a problem. It feels normal and that is exactly how the enemy likes it. It doesn't want us to know lest it draws attention to itself. It uses fear to keep us trapped and believing there is no way out. We think we can deny all this and would rather avoid talking about it because it's convenient. It's easy to just sweep it under the rug. There is much unconsciousness about the situation.
The more one struggles against it the more entangled one gets. That stuckness is the stuff of hell. If we knew the soul we would know the truth of true freedom, everlasting liberation, total peace, never-ending tranquility, endless fearlessness, untainted bliss, pure joy, undefined love, spotless clarity. As it stands we are slaves of the personality and simply take its cheap substitutes as the real thing.
No matter how good we think it is, we are always holding on to something. That dependence is not of God. It is of the ego which is trying to run away and avoid what is infinite and eternal because it judges it as bad, again biting the forbidden fruit of judgment. The ego depends on unconscious judgment to maintain control. It will not let go out of fear of powerlessness and fear does not come from God. The ego is drowning in nothing but destruction and divisiveness because that it all it sees and knows. It is fighting, attacking and defending. It demands answers because it is desperate to have a ground, a foundation. The need to know and the need for certainty is another trap keeping us stuck and dependent. Once the enemy runs out of things to depend on it will just make up more stuff because it is the father of lies. That is dependence and attachment to unconscious pleasure. The pleasure of security and comfort of being able to define itself and its existence that the personality brings. It is proud of the identity it makes of itself and defends it as its survival depends on holding on at all costs. I don't think you are exempt from any of this.
Notice how the personality makes a God out of it own image, in the form of a man yet God is infinite and eternal. What is infinite and eternal has no image because then it would cease to be infinite. God made man in his image of infinite and eternal but man decides to define God in his own terms as a man. Does man define God or does God define man?
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