11-11-13
Luke 14:26-27
26 "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
27 "And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
Rom 4:17
17 (as it is written, "I have made you a father of many nations") in the presence of Him whom he believed-- God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;
(NKJ)
I went into the bible knowing that I had to believe what ever was written. Why? Because that is Gods Word, and I would go to hell if I didnt believe it the way it is wirtten. And the fear of God drove me. But I see the intellectuals who go in the bible submitting to their doubts more than believing the bible. And anyone who goes into the bible with doubts never looses them doubts. If the Word told me something existed that didnt exist I didnt waver I forced my self to believe it. In order to believe something I read in the bible I had to do alot of purging what was in me. That is where the fights and the suffering came from. That is also how the devil was revealed to me. I would say "I believe" and I would hear "not really", "this is silly", "I dont really believe it". And I would come back with yes I do, I must, I have to, or burn in hell for ever. Even when I wasnt reading I would have all this logic running through my mind explaining away what I read. And I would have to argue with it. After awhile I recognized that I was argueing with myself. Or was it really myself or a deceiver. Because I couldnt see my argueing with myself, that just sounded stupid to me. So I must be argueing with someone else. I found out who I was inside, and I found out I wasnt in there alone. It was abit of a releif to finally see someone else in there to fight against. Then I found out it wasnt I who was fighting against the deceiver, it was another spirit(guardian angel). So I separated myself from them thoughts, and seen I was no more than a judge on who to believe. I was the one that was just listening to the others and chooseing which one to believe. Now I was the one doing all the suffering, against my emotions. Because they were pushing me towards the one deceiving me. They always pushed me towards the deceiver. Some times the pain was so great I couldnt even read more of the bible, I had to wait for awhile . Now in all the pain and suffering I knew that this was changing me. I didnt really know if it was for the better or not, I just knew it was changing me. And that was something I desired. Not knowing I didnt share it with anyone because I didnt know if I was doing right or not. Then after three years all them verses I was believing started coming up in my mind. At the most unusual times. And I would stop and listen.
Luke 14:26-27
26 "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
27 "And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
Rom 4:17
17 (as it is written, "I have made you a father of many nations") in the presence of Him whom he believed-- God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;
(NKJ)
I went into the bible knowing that I had to believe what ever was written. Why? Because that is Gods Word, and I would go to hell if I didnt believe it the way it is wirtten. And the fear of God drove me. But I see the intellectuals who go in the bible submitting to their doubts more than believing the bible. And anyone who goes into the bible with doubts never looses them doubts. If the Word told me something existed that didnt exist I didnt waver I forced my self to believe it. In order to believe something I read in the bible I had to do alot of purging what was in me. That is where the fights and the suffering came from. That is also how the devil was revealed to me. I would say "I believe" and I would hear "not really", "this is silly", "I dont really believe it". And I would come back with yes I do, I must, I have to, or burn in hell for ever. Even when I wasnt reading I would have all this logic running through my mind explaining away what I read. And I would have to argue with it. After awhile I recognized that I was argueing with myself. Or was it really myself or a deceiver. Because I couldnt see my argueing with myself, that just sounded stupid to me. So I must be argueing with someone else. I found out who I was inside, and I found out I wasnt in there alone. It was abit of a releif to finally see someone else in there to fight against. Then I found out it wasnt I who was fighting against the deceiver, it was another spirit(guardian angel). So I separated myself from them thoughts, and seen I was no more than a judge on who to believe. I was the one that was just listening to the others and chooseing which one to believe. Now I was the one doing all the suffering, against my emotions. Because they were pushing me towards the one deceiving me. They always pushed me towards the deceiver. Some times the pain was so great I couldnt even read more of the bible, I had to wait for awhile . Now in all the pain and suffering I knew that this was changing me. I didnt really know if it was for the better or not, I just knew it was changing me. And that was something I desired. Not knowing I didnt share it with anyone because I didnt know if I was doing right or not. Then after three years all them verses I was believing started coming up in my mind. At the most unusual times. And I would stop and listen.