...or there's Gary Johnson standing on the shore trying to hand me a bong.
Actually my solution to your analogy wasn't that good.
It should have went like this:
Because you've been submerged in the flood water for so long and are close to death, you've become delusional. You actually think that the lesser of two evils is a snapping turtle, but in reality it's a wolf in sheep's clothing.
The moral to story: You're going to die not matter which log you choose, do your best to find another alternative to saving your life (and in the case of Trump v Clinton, America's life).