BREAKING NEWS: There is a Liberal God!

[WonderfulLordJesus]

My whole life I'd thought liberals Godless. Well, alright then, sans Satan considered. But, reading on an economics website today, somebody posted a link to what is, obvious to even the most casual observer, a monumental, historic discovery of the liberal deity! This provoked further thought. Given Francis, maybe there's a Pope Sterculius in the stars? After all, it's Roman, congruity of doctrinal motifs...

Sorry, I digress. Without further adieu, let all card carrying Democrats, morally ambiguous "Christians" and sundry riffraff lift hands in welcome and praises to Lord Sterculius!

STERCULIUS!​

Roman Fertilizer God
Also known as STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS

To put it politely, he is the God of Poop.

We have stated before that the Romans had gods for everything — and this one is the God of Dung.

His grand Latin name may bring to mind some succulent stir fry,[or Hillary's lips moving at a debate], but ‘stercus’ is simply the Roman word for fertilizer. To avoid confusion, the name used behind his back was ‘Poopy’.

Although the thought of a god specializing in crap seems a little bizarre to modern minds [outside the walls of the DNC headquarters], in fact he was extremely important to farmers who valued his blessed fertilizer above all things. In those days, everything was organically grown and good quality manure was essential. Far healthier than unholy chemicals and pesticides. [Lower carbon footprint and green, like Al Gore, George Soros, and bile, too.]

How did STERCULIUS become a God of Fertilizer [in liberal Democrat parlance, "fertilizer" or manure known as a "platform"]? It seems a strange career choice for an eager young deity. We have only one clue: a little bird told us he may be related to the [gay] fertility woodpecker PICUS.

We are full of respect for the Manure God. It’s a smelly job but someone has to do it. Please don’t let the smell put you off. [Simply wear a clothespin on your nose at the polling place. "A homo in every pot! What, me worry?"]

STERCULIUS FACTS AND FIGURES
Name : STERCULIUS
Pronunciation : Coming soon
Alternative names : STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS
Location : Italy and Roman Europe
Gender : Male
Type : deity
In charge of : Manure and Muck Spreading
God of : Manure, Fertilizer, Poop, Muck-Spreading, ****, Farming, Agriculture, Muck-Spreading

Celebration or Feast Day : Unknown at present

Good/Evil Rating : NEUTRAL, may not care [* citation, further research required, probable disambiguation Sterculius vs. Beelezebub vs. Comatosed American Voter]

Popularity index : 42393

Source: http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/roman-mythology.php?deity=STERCULIUS

Sterculesis 1:6, And he saw a pile of the unmentionable, that it is useful for fertilizer, and said, "It is good."

 

[King cobra]

Was he the one who founded the Septic Society??

 

[WonderfulLordJesus]

Was he the one who founded the Septic Society??

I do believe you're on to something! Makes complete sense, the frothing, bubbling pond of scavenger live cultures, slowing breaking down all substance, surely a theological disdain for anything antiseptic. I think we're flushing something out! Somebody should email Francis to add Sterculius to the list with Allah: as long as it's one god, I'm thinking that, once Bergoglian ecumenicism gets on a full footing, we have all reason to be confident the Cigar Store Indian will make a comeback, and in a brave, new, albeit snowflake world, where the bestial or transgender, gay pedo can finally be with the furry creature or prepubescent child that they luv, get the veterinarians under Obamacare, too.

It’s a new day dawning. Vote Hillary, and, "Hail, Sterculius!"

 

[quip]

I see you're one of his evangelicals.

Thanks for spreading the word. lain:

 

[WonderfulLordJesus]

I see you're one of his evangelicals.

Not quite, and not by way of criticism, as the mean of reading comprehension and critical thinking goes day to day on the web, but you failed to consider I just stumbled on the liberal deity today, which you'd think would have been as clear to you as that creepy, psychotic smirk on Hillary's face, often at all the wrong times, how I couldn't possibly be versed in those pungent oracles required to be an effective evangelist as the Clinton Foundation high priestess, to paraphrase Muslims, blessed be the name of the profit. But this aside, what little I've learned of the great brown deity's catechism, thus far, is that there's no need of evangelism, as Sterculian liberals, by way of very nature, gravitate to Sterculius, like flies on... well, best we not pursue that further.

Thanks for spreading the word. lain:

No need to thank me. I've played a rather paltry, wholly insignificant role in all the spreading of sterculiar matter, far and wide, that goes on here, appreciate your gratitude, but am somewhat guarded your, therefore, apparent enthusiasm of the gospel of Sterculius, but one need not be thanked for just doing their part, in any case.

I suppose that's it. I'm sterculite out of any more thoughts on the matter.

 

[quip]

Scat nourishes new growth...keep spreading the word. :up:

 

[The Horn]

This is another example of how conservatives have the worst sense of humor. Their attempts at political, social and religious satire invariably fall flatter than a pancake .
Conservative humor is an oxymoron . Right-wingers invariably make the worst stand up comedians and humorists .
Conservative "humor" is about as funny as a root canal, funerals, and a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward .

 

[WonderfulLordJesus]

Conservative "humor" is about as funny as a root canal, funerals, and a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward .

Other than I think everybody on the planet hearing certain one-liners in elementary school, it's good to hear from what is the leading edge of liberal humor.

I just can't go on any further, feel so cornered and put in my place, the intellectual challenges of conversation with a liberal simply too high a peak to scale.

 

[Crucible]

The spirit of Jezebel is in liberal society, as they seduce people with reprobate agendas and doctrine. The early Jews defenestrated her for it, which says a lot about what God thinks of the Left lain:
Not that the Right doesn't have it's wrongs as well.

This is another example of how conservatives have the worst sense of humor. Their attempts at political, social and religious satire invariably fall flatter than a pancake .
Conservative humor is an oxymoron . Right-wingers invariably make the worst stand up comedians and humorists .
Conservative "humor" is about as funny as a root canal, funerals, and a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward .

Well, when one's ideology is a joke, one has a bigger audience to make laugh :wave:

 

[WonderfulLordJesus]

Well, when one's ideology is a joke, one has a bigger audience to make laugh :wave:

You have to give him the part about conservatives and comedians, though even that is steeped in perversion (surprise, surprise), as they're only funny to each other. It's like the situation comedies, making light of everything sinful and grotesque, trying to normalize perversion, etc. I'm not even mildly amused by this one-liner, let's do anal in the hot tub or whatever Neanderthal humor, seldom get a giggle out of what are considered uproariously amusing television shows, by your Hollywood gutter mentality that pervades the culture of the damned. Their "comedies" are such a lame bore, such an abject, senseless waste of time, I don't even know the names of them, never bother to watch them.

So, yes, we're not funny, though they also neglect to realize we laugh at different things far more amusing, that actually register on the scale of intelligence, and regardless, it's a badge of honor to not find some things amusing, as much as it's a badge of dishonor to have a gutter mentality, and if the best standup comedians of the world could pack an auditorium of liberals, to my mind this only proves the old proverb that the simple mind is easily amused. Isn't that so?