A little comedy break....
- Thread starter Right Divider
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Right Divider
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Right Divider
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Right Divider
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ok doser
lifeguard at the cement pond
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
So the chief abbot in charge of copying manuscripts went up to the Bishop of the Monastery one day and said, "Your eminence, we have copied many sets of manuscripts over the past decades, and the thought occurred that I should ask when the original texts kept down in the vault were last checked." To which the Bishop replied, "My son, possibly in the administration of the Bishop before me or the one before him. But be at peace and let this not bother you. As the hand of GOD guides yours, your work shall always be perfect, and God protects all translations and copies of His Holy Word." But the Bishop was secretly rattled, and decided to privately check the vault, entering through the locked gates, and descending down the winding stone stairs in the middle of the night.
Three weeks later, the chief abbot was beyond worry at the complete and utter disappearance of the Bishop so shortly after their conversation, and finding the heavy wrought iron gates unlocked, though not unopened, he decided on his own to enter down into the sacred vaults, though he did not have ecclesiastical permission to do so, and might lose his life if caught. At the bottom of the long winding stairs, past the dark gloom, he saw a dim light off to the left. Passing row after row of shelves, he came upon a small study with a book open on the lectern and the Bishop banging his head over and over on the book muttering... "Celebrate... it says Celebrate...."
Three weeks later, the chief abbot was beyond worry at the complete and utter disappearance of the Bishop so shortly after their conversation, and finding the heavy wrought iron gates unlocked, though not unopened, he decided on his own to enter down into the sacred vaults, though he did not have ecclesiastical permission to do so, and might lose his life if caught. At the bottom of the long winding stairs, past the dark gloom, he saw a dim light off to the left. Passing row after row of shelves, he came upon a small study with a book open on the lectern and the Bishop banging his head over and over on the book muttering... "Celebrate... it says Celebrate...."
Right Divider
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way 2 go
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