A little comedy break....
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ok doser
lifeguard at the cement pond
"Here at CNN, we take all allegations of sexual harassment very seriously," said a spokesman for the network. "The charges leveled by Mrs. Potato Head were so egregious that we couldn't bury it any longer. Usually, when you bury these things, they multiply and you'll be dealing with ten more by the time you uproot them."
Sources say Stelter's firing is part of a larger effort to remove staff members who are caught up in harassment allegations and who also have a show no one watches.
Stelter responded to the accusations, saying: "These charges are false, and I'm furious that CNN would allow my good name to be besmirched like this. And you can tell how angry I am because I'm wearing my frowny mouth and angry eyes."
At publishing time, Stelter confirmed he would be taking his time off to reconnect with relatives in Idaho.
Right Divider
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I Wish We All Could Leave California (Beach Boys Parody)
The California Dream ain't what it used to be. In this parody of The Beach Boys' "California Girls", the Babylon Bee Boys express their yearning to leave the Golden State some day.
babylonbee.com
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Idolater
"Matthew 16:18-19" Dispensationalist (Catholic) χρ
Animals are all idiots, and the stupidest animals of all are people because they should know better.
Humans aren't animals.
Animals can't sin. Humans can.
But stupid doesn't make you sin, sin makes you stupid.
Reminds me of watching a news story in the early 70's (I think) of a man's wife filming him (on 16mm) walking up to a bear (in Yellowstone National Park) to get a close-up photograph of it. The man actually thought the bear was going to be just like Yogi. The bear ate him. The national news actually showed the bear eating him. They wouldn't show that today.
Idolater
"Matthew 16:18-19" Dispensationalist (Catholic) χρ
We disagree on terms is all. I'm just using animal in the sense that man is the only rational animal.
ok doser
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If I wasn't so attached to Granny I'd be sorely tempted to use this as my new avatar 
babylonbee.com
Trump Parts Hudson River Leading Exodus Of New York Republicans To Florida
NEW YORK, NY — New York Governor Kathy Hochul recently informed New York Republicans that they're not welcome in her state. But lo, a chosen one of burnt papaya hue, Donald Trump, approached her and demanded that she let his people go. The Republicans' punishments then worsened, with Hochul...
babylonbee.com
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After Dismissing Warnings From His Mother, Tucker Carlson's Face Is Now Stuck That Way
GASPARILLA ISLAND, FL — Fox News personality and host of Tucker Carlson Tonight was informed by his doctor today that his look of befuddlement is permanent. Sources close to Mr. Carlson have confirmed that he had not heeded his mother's admonition: "If you keep making that face, you'll get stuck...
babylonbee.com
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lifeguard at the cement pond
Biden: 'We Must Destroy This Nation, But We Must Do It Together'
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With a backdrop of hell behind him, Fictional President, Joe Biden addressed the nation that funds Ukraine on Thursday. As always, his goal was to incite violence and start a civil war by the weekend.
But there was a distinct moment of unity:
“Now listen, Chuck, the polling is clear; we all agree that this nation must be destroyed. But folks, we must do it together,” Biden finished with the creepy whisper. “Once destroyed, Fig Newtons would become the country’s new form of currency,” he informed.
“These words of unity are so important because this country simply cannot be torn down with just me and my thousands of friends,” CNN’s Jake Tapper said afterward.
In a focus group of the twenty-nine suburban moms who watched, they shared mixed feelings about “destroying the country.”
"I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thrilled with Biden saying he wanted to abolish freedom and stairs, but he said it in such a grandfatherly tone, you know?” one woman commented. “I believe that he should get a free pass on all his policies failures because he sounds frail.”
Biden: 'We Must Destroy This Nation, But We Must Do It Together'
Satire For The Right. And The Wrong.
thegloriousamerican.com