A discussion on homeschooling

[ebenz47037]

On misc.education.home-school.christian, someone posted a question whether the good in homeschooling outweighs the bad in homeschooling. A friend of mine posted the following answer (posted here with her permission):

Homeschooling counteracts our modern compulsion to view
children as something even parents should try to avoid.

Anyone who homeschools or even talks about homeschooling
with others has heard someone (or many someones) say that
*they* could never spend all day with their children... they can't
hardly make it all the way through summer and see the start
of school in the fall as a sort of salvation.

Not to invoke Hillary's village, but the most "natural" environment
for children is not confined in a creche with their age-mates. It
is as part of a community or extended family with adults of all
ages as well as other children of all ages. Age-segregation is
unnatural. God (or if you'd prefer... nature) did not make us to
have litters, after all, but to have (mostly) single births separated
by a year or two or longer.

There are difficulties caused by the fact that our modern culture
tends to lead to isolation. Many of us simply don't have any
sort of extended support network, combine that with only one
or two children and many people have neither the multiple ages
of adults or the multiple ages of children in their immediate
"community". That is true no matter what educational choices
those parents make and is not a problem of homeschooling but
a problem of our culture.

And I will say that it is very hard for some people to be at home
all day every day with very small children. Some ladies just
*love* babies while others of us simply aren't "baby" people.

This is *also* not a problem of homeschooling because by the
time children head off to kindergarten or 1st grade they aren't
babies anymore. "Finally" getting them into school may seem
like a reprieve to us "non-baby" sorts but it's really not, because
the reprieve is that they aren't toddlers any longer. (Frankly,
God made toddlers extra cute so they'd survive to age five.)

I agree with this one hundred percent. I think that many here will agree with her assessment on the situation, as well.

 

[elohiym]

I can't imagine not having our two, four, and six year olds do school together. My six year old actually teaches the four year old stuff she has learned. It has made teaching the four year old easier, and our two year old is sure to benefit from his older sisters' help.

Homeschool rocks! :guitar:

 

[ebenz47037]

When my nephew was out here, three years ago, I homeschooled him and my daughter together for three months. He could just barely read and couldn't add or subtract at all, in the third grade. Within two weeks, he was reading. And, by the end of the three months (when he went home), he was doing algebra alongside :jessilu:. That is the reason I think that seperating them by age/grade is wrong. My daughter was a positive influence on Chris and taught him things when I wasn't expecting it (she was in sixth grade at the time). Chris has since moved ahead a year faster than the public schools were expecting. :jessilu: just finished tenth grade and Chris just finished eighth grade. And, although my sister chose to put him back in public school, he remembers "Auntie Ri" as his teacher.

 

[Highline]

My wife and I do not plan to homeschool are children, but I do agree with this article. Our society can too peer driven, it is good for kids to be around children and adlts of different ages.

Interesting, what you said about parents not wanting to be around the toddlers all day should not translate to being around school-age children all day. That is our situation now, our kids are pre-school and it is a long day with them. We also think they have learned a lot at their christian pre-school. We can't imagine having them around all day every day. Maybe that will change as they get older. They'll be home this summer for the most part, we'll see how it goes.

 

[Granite]

Homeschool is good to a certain point and for certain people (I was homeschooled up till the tenth grade). But I'd agree with most of the article, by and large.

 

[ebenz47037]

My wife and I do not plan to homeschool are children, but I do agree with this article. Our society can too peer driven, it is good for kids to be around children and adlts of different ages.

Interesting, what you said about parents not wanting to be around the toddlers all day should not translate to being around school-age children all day. That is our situation now, our kids are pre-school and it is a long day with them. We also think they have learned a lot at their christian pre-school. We can't imagine having them around all day every day. Maybe that will change as they get older. They'll be home this summer for the most part, we'll see how it goes.

I believe that the education of your children should be your choice. That's one place where I sometimes get into it with other homeschoolers. While I am a firm supporter of homeschooling, I am more supportive of the parents choosing and being involved in their children's educations. Just because homeschooling is the best choice for my daughter doesn't mean it's the best choice for everyone's children.

That was one of my friends, Julie, who wrote that article. I had her permission to post it here, though.

 

[Highline]

I believe that the education of your children should be your choice. That's one place where I sometimes get into it with other homeschoolers. While I am a firm supporter of homeschooling, I am more supportive of the parents choosing and being involved in their children's educations. Just because homeschooling is the best choice for my daughter doesn't mean it's the best choice for everyone's children.

That was one of my friends, Julie, who wrote that article. I had her permission to post it here, though.

I like your perspective on this. We will keep an open mind to educational options as our kids grow. I hope you have continued good luck with your daughter. God bless.

Oh, the New York Times article is interesting as well. It is no different from what families do that have athletic prodigies in sports like tennis or ice skating.

 

[allsmiles]

being homeschooled was fantastic because i got to be with my family so much. not sure how my mom feels about it... i'm sure there are some days when she just wants to scream, but don't we all have those? point is, being around the kids every day is one of the best things about homeschooling.

not sure if i agree with the idea on isolationism... depends on the person i suppose. i do think there's value to having a tight knit community made up of extended families. i definitely agree that age separation or barriers are unnatural. that's pretty much the big thing i agree with in this article.

bottomline, it's good for some people, it's not for others. if we could have a happy balance between homeschooling and public schooling that would be superb.

 

[erinmarie]

My wife and I do not plan to homeschool are children, but I do agree with this article. Our society can too peer driven, it is good for kids to be around children and adlts of different ages.

Interesting, what you said about parents not wanting to be around the toddlers all day should not translate to being around school-age children all day. That is our situation now, our kids are pre-school and it is a long day with them. We also think they have learned a lot at their christian pre-school. We can't imagine having them around all day every day. Maybe that will change as they get older. They'll be home this summer for the most part, we'll see how it goes.

I just want to make sure that what you wrote in the bold section is what you meant to say before I rip into you, I mean, before I comment.

 

[ebenz47037]

I just want to make sure that what you wrote in the bold section is what you meant to say before I rip into you, I mean, before I comment.

Yeah. That's the only thing that bothered me about your post, too. I can't imagine not having my pre-schoolers with me all day because, IMHO, pre-school is nothing but glorified babysitting.

 

[Highline]

I meant what I said, I perhaps overstated it a little bit. We have an almost 5 year-old and 3 year-old twins. My wife and I agree that when your with them all day, it is a long day. With three little ones, you're really outnumbered. The four days a week they go to pre-school I really believe they learn more, and it has been good for them. I realize the fact that we feel they learn less with us (not that it is all about learning) says more about us than them, but that's the way it is. The Twins started pre-school (2 days a week) when they were 2 1/2, and we have never regretted it. Between evenings, mornings, weekends, holidays, sick days, and summer; we feel we spend quite enough time with them.

I could see that changing when they get older, when it is easier to take them places. With two playmates around, they are happy to stay home all day and it is a lot of effort to leave the house. I am not complaining, they have a great time; and we are lucky and blessed. We all do what works for us.

 

[Eowyn]

Between evenings, mornings, weekends, holidays, sick days, and summer; we feel we spend quite enough time with them.

That's sad These aren't your pet gerbils, they're your children!

 

[erinmarie]

I meant what I said, I perhaps overstated it a little bit. We have an almost 5 year-old and 3 year-old twins. My wife and I agree that when your with them all day, it is a long day. With three little ones, you're really outnumbered. The four days a week they go to pre-school I really believe they learn more, and it has been good for them. I realize the fact that we feel they learn less with us (not that it is all about learning) says more about us than them, but that's the way it is. The Twins started pre-school (2 days a week) when they were 2 1/2, and we have never regretted it. Between evenings, mornings, weekends, holidays, sick days, and summer; we feel we spend quite enough time with them.

I could see that changing when they get older, when it is easier to take them places. With two playmates around, they are happy to stay home all day and it is a lot of effort to leave the house. I am not complaining, they have a great time; and we are lucky and blessed. We all do what works for us.

Wow, this is just sad.
There's lots of things to do at home as a family. Sure it's hard, I'm a stay at home mom with three girls, just turned 6, 3 and 1 year old. My husband works all day, long hours, and very often on the weekend too. But I never thought of sending them away for hours during the day.

You might think they have fun at this pre-'school' but I'm sure they would have much more fun at home with their parents, rather than strangers. Did your two and a halr year old babies learn to color at pre-school? Learn their ABC's, count to ten, say "I miss mommy"?

The other night my six year old and my three year old went to have slumber parties at their grandmothers' houses (One at my mom's, one at my mother in laws). We forgot to send pull-ups to the sleepover with my three year old (she occasionally wets the bed) and my mother in law said not to worry about it, she'd get her up through the night on my schedule so she wouldn't wet the bed. My three year old woke up that morning with dry underpants and was so excited. I was totally bummed that I missed that. THAT TOTALLY SUCKED. Now, I'm glad that she did it, and I'm glad my mother in law was a big part of that...but I missed out.
I can't imagine what I'd miss on a daily basis, for hours each day.

I mean these are small little kids, not teens! Hold them, cherish them, raise them on the righteous path, keep every word they say and every action they make in your heart and don't be overwhelmed. Instead thank God for the time you have with them now.

 

[Highline]

We love the time (most of it) we spend with our kids, and love watching them grow. I don't need to personally witness every moment. Some people are more into kids than others- but don't call it sad. Our kids are happy and great. We enjoy them and make good decisions for them.

Who is to say your 3 year-old would have made it through the night if she had been at home? The dynamic of being at Grandma's may have done the trick. Coloring? I can tell you, one twin learned at home, the other learned at school. Maybe it was seeing other students who are not his sisters, maybe it was the way the teacher modeled coloring or the set up the room, or maybe he just grew a little older; but he didn't learn until he went to school.

Speaking of work, this is all very interesting but I need to be doing that. I'll check back on this later.

 

[erinmarie]

We love the time (most of it) we spend with our kids, and love watching them grow. I don't need to personally witness every moment. Some people are more into kids than others- but don't call it sad. Our kids are happy and great. We enjoy them and make good decisions for them.

I'm just calling it as I see it. If I knew my parents were sending me away each day to get rid of me for awhile, cause they didn't like to be around me, or because they're 'less into kids than others', I would be really sad. And I think my kids would be bummed too.

I also think you're underestimating yourself as a parent. Maybe you just 'think' you're not 'into kids'. I'm sure you could enrich their lives far more than any stranger could. And I'm sure you could offer your children everything that a facility could, in your home, the most important place for a child to be.

I'm not saying that your kids won't turn out okay, or that they wouldn't excel in the enviroment you've put them in. But I promise going the extra mile and spending those extra minutes are well worth it. And so are your kids. They're not pets, or neices or cousins. They're the children you and your wife made with the Grace of God. They deserve more respect methinks.

 

[Lighthouse]

If you're not into kids, you shouldn't have any.:nono:

 

[Granite]

That's sad These aren't your pet gerbils, they're your children!

That's their choice. If it works for them, fine.

 

[erinmarie]

That's their choice. If it works for them, fine.

Is it really? Cause I don't think so.

There's a difference between 'fine' and doing the best you can do for your kids, and not just for yourself.

You have a special knowledge of the bonuses that come with having an extra attentive mother, if I recall things you have said in the past. You're secure, bright and I assume all of your siblings are too. Could you imagine not doing the same for your children?

 

[Granite]

Is it really? Cause I don't think so.

There's a difference between 'fine' and doing the best you can do for your kids, and not just for yourself.

You have a special knowledge of the bonuses that come with having an extra attentive mother, if I recall things you have said in the past. You're secure, bright and I assume all of your siblings are too. Could you imagine not doing the same for your children?

I for one will not presume to tell a parent how to do their job, ever, unless they're flat-out abusing their kids. Highline's pre-schooling his children. That's his choice. If it works for he and his missus, more power to them. And of course I'll aspire to be the best father I possibly can be--but I'll say this right now, I do NOT intend to raise my kids in the manner I was brought up. In a similar way, yes, but not exactly.

 

[erinmarie]

I for one will not presume to tell a parent how to do their job, ever, unless they're flat-out abusing their kids. Highline's pre-schooling his children. That's his choice. If it works for he and his missus, more power to them. And of course I'll aspire to be the best father I possibly can be--but I'll say this right now, I do NOT intend to raise my kids in the manner I was brought up. In a similar way, yes, but not exactly.

I wasn't picking on pre-schooling in general. There are people (single mothers, fathers, women and men with disabled spouses) who need to use daycare/preschools out of neccesity. I just think that it's wrong to send your children away from your home under the pretense that you can't have them around you all day long. Or because you're not a 'kid person'.
And I was pointing out to highline that perhaps he needs to rethink the parenting angle, cause if he and his wife can't handle their kids at home, they might be doing something wrong.

When I was brought your upbringing into the conversation it was mainly to point out that your mother stayed at home, was attentive and taught you in your home, and that it obviously made some impact on you, I wasn't delving into the finer details of your parents parenting technique. So why do you always argue with me!? Just say, yes erin, I think that my mom did the right thing staying at home with us and was very attentive.