The Truth About Divorce and Remarriage

[cgaviria]

There are many who believe that remarriage can be done after a valid divorce. But is this truly so? Lets take a first look at the Law of Moses concerning divorce,

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, (Deuteronomy 24:2 [ESV])

When divorcing a wife, according to the Law of Moses, if the husband has found an indecency in her and no longer wants her, he can then,

Issue a certificate of divorce.
Dismiss the wife.
Then she becomes free to remarry.
What is this indecency that then allows for divorce and remarriage according to the Law of Moses? The Hebrew word for indecency is "ervah", and the strong's word can be seen here, and it means "nakedness". The same word is used in this verse,

But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father's nakedness. (Genesis 9:23 [NASB])

Now, how does nakedness relate to an indecent reason to divorce a wife? Because nakedness is also related to shame, so the indecent reason to divorce a wife is also a shameful reason. And what is a shameful reason for divorce in accordance with the Law of Moses?

[13] And if any should take a wife, and should live with her, and should detest her, [14] and should place upon her words offered as as an excuse, and should bring upon her a bad name, and should say, I took this woman, and drawing near to her, I did not find her tokens of virginity.
(Deuteronomy 22:13-14 [ABP])

One reason is the wife turns out not to be a virgin, meaning she fornicated before the marriage. Another reason could be,

And if a man should be found going to bed with a wife living with a husband, you shall kill both, the man going to bed with the wife, and the wife; and you shall lift away the wickedness from Israel. (Deuteronomy 22:22 [ABP])

Another reason is adultery. So what do these reasons have in common? They relate to sexuality immorality when and after a man has taken a wife or even a fiancee. These were permitted reasons that the Law of Moses already gave for divorce, yet in some cases, if a man did not desire to shame the woman publicly that could result in her death, he could then just merely divorce her quietly, as even was the case with the engagement of Mary to Joseph when he thought she had committed fornication when she turned out to be with child before they even married,

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. (Matthew 1:18-19 [ESV])

Going further, the Pharisees were seeking to test Jesus, and they asked him this,

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" (Matthew 19:3 [NIV])

They asked Jesus if divorce was permitted for any reason. So what was his answer to their question?

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. (Matthew 19:9 [NIV])

Jesus answer was, sexual immortality is the only permissible reason for divorce, which coincides with the Law of Moses already stating it's own provision of allowing divorce for reasons of indecency, hence sexual immorality. So Jesus wasn't stating anything new, but was in fact affirming to the Pharisees that he knew the Law of Moses, which is why they were testing him in the first place.

Going further, aside from Jesus reaffirming what the Law of Moses already said concerning a valid reason for divorce, he also added,

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:4-6 [NIV])

Here, Jesus was stating that God did not intend for separation in the beginning, hence why Adam and Eve were said to be one flesh. In saying this, the Pharisees then proceeded to ask,

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" (Matthew 19:7 [NIV])

They were asking, if God didn't want divorce, then why did Moses permit it? Here was Jesus' initial answer,

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. (Matthew 19:8 [NIV])

So what exactly was "not this way from the beginning"? The separation of what has become one flesh. This is when Jesus then gives his new command based on this original intention of God,

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery". (Matthew 19:9 [NIV])

Jesus Christ was indeed permitting divorce per the Law of Moses on the grounds of sexual immorality, however, what he was not permitting in light of what he mentioned as becoming "one flesh", and "let no man separate" was remarriage. And even in this next passage, this same meaning is given, giving the exact and full intention of what Jesus was saying,

He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:11 [NIV])

In accordance with the Matthew 19:9 verse, Jesus was indeed permitting divorce per the Law of Moses if there was reason for sexual immorality, but even if there is divorce, per this Mark 10:11 verse, if either should remarry, they commit adultery. Why? Because they are still "one flesh" in the eyes of God, regardless of their marital status. This saying is plain as daylight. So even though you may separate legally, you are still considered "one flesh" by God, which "no man ought to separate".

And Paul also affirms,

[2] For the married woman is tied by law to the living husband. But if the husband should die, she is cleared from the law of the husband. [3] Surely then with the husband living, she shall be treated as an adulteress, if she becomes to another man; but if the husband should die, she is free from the law, for her to not be an adulteress, having become to another man.
(Romans 7:2-3 [ABP])

A wife is tied by law for as long a time as her husband lives; but if her husband should sleep, she is free to whom she wants to marry, only in the Lord. (I Corinthians 7:39 [ABP])
The marriage of "one flesh" is only broken when either person dies, not when a person divorces. Divorce is merely a formality of separation when either couple no longer lives with each other, but does not separate what God has made as "one flesh". Which Paul confirms,

But if even she should separate, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the husband! and a man's wife is not to be let go. (I Corinthians 7:11 [ABP])

If they should separate let them remain unmarried. If not, then let them be reconciled to each other, but these are the only two options while both are still alive. Now, here is another circumstance that Paul mentions concerning separation,

And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. (1 Corinthians 7:13 [NIV])

Why must not she divorce him? Because an unbelieving husband is not a permissible reason for divorce, because divorce is only permissible if there is sexual immorality. Therefore, she must remain in the marriage. However, here Paul then goes on to say,

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15 [NIV])

If the husband leaves, then let it be so, the wife ought not to pursue him, because we are called to live in peace. Now, in light of all of these things, is why the disciples proceeded to say,

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:10 [ESV])

Why is it better not to marry? Because when you marry, you are bound to this person for your entire life, no matter what they do, if they stay or leave, if they remain faithful or not, or even if you remain married or become divorced. You can never remarry while you both live.