You see, Uncle BillyBob, I haven't lived with people very long, so I don't understand everything people do and some of it is confusing. I need you to help me try to figure something out.
I was playing down at the old empty house about a mile from here, swinging on the chandalier because that's fun to do. All of a sudden, a bunch of people walked in. Most of them were looking around but one guy was real loud.
They called that loud guy Brother J. And he was doing a lot of waving his arms and talking about something he called a demon. He told those other people that the old house was full of demons, that there was demons running all over the place and he could see them and hear them and that they was saying stuff to him and that he was going to exercise those demons so that people could move in and raise a family there.
The way he was talking about those demon things was like they get inside someone like a tapeworm, only they make them do all sorts of crazy things and when he exercises people and houses those demon things come out and they go live somewhere else.
Now this was real interesting to me and I wanted to hear better and see those demon things. So I grabbed ahold of the chandalier with my tail and hung down so that I wouldn't miss anything. Only my tail slipped and I fell right square on top of his head.
Well he let out a holler then he looked at me real funny and pointed at me and said "There's the demon!" Now I know that whatever a demon is that I ain't one so I told him "I'm not a demon, ain't you ever seen a possum before?"
All those people commenced to make crazy sounding noises and he informed them not to listen to me because demons always lie. Then he asked me my name and I asked him why he asked because if if he thought that I was one of his demon things and demons always lie he wouldn't believe me if I told him. And everyone was whispering that I was a mighty powerful demon because every other time the only one who hears and sees demons is Brother J.
Right then he started hollering that he was going to exercise me and he started running at me. Well I got scared so I took off and he exercised me round and round that room. And he was yelling at God to do this to me and that to me and nothing was happening except that I was getting winded.
Finally he got me in a corner and he started to tell me to "Come out! Come out!" And I remembered something and that's when I got really scared. Because I remembered that coming out means you turn into a homo.
This guy was exercising me and trying to catch hold of me and bossing God around and trying to turn me into a homo and that's when it dawned on me that he must be a priest and he's trying to molest me!
And he stood there yelling at me to turn into a homo and all of those other people were making crazy kinds of sounds and babbling and I was trapped and I knew if I didn't make a move soon I was going to get molested so I ran up to him and I bit him real hard three times.
Then he started to scream "It's real! It's real!" and he messed his pants. And I got real mad at him for trying to turn me into a homo and molest me, whatever that is, so I figgured that it's time for me to exercise me a stinky priest. So I started chasing him, and I exercised him and all of those other crazy people round and round that room till I finally saw my chance to jump out an open window and that's just what I did and I got away.
Uncle BillyBob, what the heck is molesting? Why did those crazy people want to exercise me cause I never done anything to them?
And if a priest exercises me and tries to turn me into a homo and tries to molest me, is it OK to bite him? Or is that a bad thing?
