Daycares-- Good or Bad?
- Thread starter Poly
- Start date
Personally, I believe that day cares are detrimental to a child's well-being. They need to be taken care of by a parent. But, if that's not possible (both parents have to work or a single parent), they should be taken care of by a family member or a close friend of the family.
Sometimes, a woman is a position where the father of the children is unable or refuses to support them, and she must go to work, or to school so that she can get the skills to support them.
In this case, I believe that putting kids in daycare while working or obtaining the education she needs to support them is less damaging than seeing Mommy collect welfare as a career, with no intention or effort to find a means to support her kids.
Having a relative or friend provide care is probably a better idea than daycare, but there are areas where Christian daycare is availiable. It's not ideal, but sometimes we are faced with challenges which present us with a far less than ideal situation to work with.
In this case, I believe that putting kids in daycare while working or obtaining the education she needs to support them is less damaging than seeing Mommy collect welfare as a career, with no intention or effort to find a means to support her kids.
Having a relative or friend provide care is probably a better idea than daycare, but there are areas where Christian daycare is availiable. It's not ideal, but sometimes we are faced with challenges which present us with a far less than ideal situation to work with.
Mustard Seed
New member
Re: Daycares-- Good or Bad?
I'm certain there are cases in which they are justified. I don't think they should be a staple of society. If you put your kids in a daycare don't cling to any illusion that they'll do any better for you when you're back in a state requiring attention.
Why have kids if you don't ever get to know who they really are? I mean what is a mom or dad that hardly ever plays the role? All I'm saying is be carefull what you do with your kids because it all comes back to you in the end. You reap that which you plant. If your only half a mother or father to your kids they'll be half a child to you and that's not the most enjoyable kind of child to have.
I'm certain there are cases in which they are justified. I don't think they should be a staple of society. If you put your kids in a daycare don't cling to any illusion that they'll do any better for you when you're back in a state requiring attention.
Why have kids if you don't ever get to know who they really are? I mean what is a mom or dad that hardly ever plays the role? All I'm saying is be carefull what you do with your kids because it all comes back to you in the end. You reap that which you plant. If your only half a mother or father to your kids they'll be half a child to you and that's not the most enjoyable kind of child to have.
SOTK
New member
I can't stand Day Cares! I know because I've had to use them before. Yes, I think they can be damaging to children. Children really need to be taken care of by parents. I agree that sometimes parents are forced to have to go this route, but I would strongly urge any parent to try hard to not go down that road. Luckily, things have worked out with my work schedule and my wife's work schedule that one of us is always home with the kids and we have not had to use Day Care.
elohiym
Well-known member
Daycare... :down:
The great thing about daycare is you can always ask one of the gals that watches your kid to describe those priceless moments you missed, but she saw; and hopefully, she'll remember enough to tell you what you missed. "I think she said 'I love you' and then she called me mommy." How sweet.
And I'm sure there are great advantages for your kids, too.
The great thing about daycare is you can always ask one of the gals that watches your kid to describe those priceless moments you missed, but she saw; and hopefully, she'll remember enough to tell you what you missed. "I think she said 'I love you' and then she called me mommy." How sweet.
And I'm sure there are great advantages for your kids, too.
ShadowMaid
New member
Hi! I'm back, and I'm glad that I found this thread... though it's right on the first page. 
Daycare I don't think is a good idea, and there are various examples above that show why. And if both parents are forced, or one of them forces the other, to work, then it seems logical to ask a close friend, or better yet a family member. But then, I'm just re-stating what has already been said.
Daycare I don't think is a good idea, and there are various examples above that show why. And if both parents are forced, or one of them forces the other, to work, then it seems logical to ask a close friend, or better yet a family member. But then, I'm just re-stating what has already been said.
1PeaceMaker
New member
__ WAYS TO SAY NO TO DAYCARE
If you are strapped for money because you are a single parent or have 2 working parents, here are a few possible ways to prevent the daycare scenario...
1. If there are to of you, cut the household spending as much as possible. [Forgo new cloths, buy bulk, nurse, have family bed, instead of 2 or 3 bed/cribs,(done safely) ect.]
2. Get a smaller house. Just one bedroom/bathroom can accomidate a sizable family.
3. Use alternative transportation, instead of a pricy car.
4. Start a home based business.
5. telecommute (sp?) to work.
6. Take baby to work. A few jobs make this a viable option. Consider the possibility.
7. Homeschool. Homeschoolers can cut costs in very creative ways, making it possible to keep the little ones around.
8. Visit your local co-op. There are many ways to save "mucho denaro" by buying quality bulk items, and baking your own bread, etc.
9. Move. If you are living in the heart of a city, life can be more pricy, depending on your location.
10. If you are single, get married. Find a (Christian) spouse who will aid you in taking care of a child.
11. Talk to Mom and Dad. If you have any reasonable relationship with them, they may be able to help mommy stay at home to raise their grandkids.
12. Seek assistance from other family members. Some people are loath to ask for help, but there is no better cause than that of raising a child properly. We need more well trained children.
13. Visit your local food bank if it really gets rough.
14. Cut meat and milk and milk form your food bill. They are expensive, and it is possible to properly nurish the family without them.
15. Visit your local church. Many of them will be happy to aid your cause, and at least a few denominations have a dorcas, or something.
I just thought I would post a few thoughts. If someone has other ideas to add to mine, please do. There is nothing more important than making sure children are properly raised by their parents, instead of someone else.
PeaceMaker
If you are strapped for money because you are a single parent or have 2 working parents, here are a few possible ways to prevent the daycare scenario...
1. If there are to of you, cut the household spending as much as possible. [Forgo new cloths, buy bulk, nurse, have family bed, instead of 2 or 3 bed/cribs,(done safely) ect.]
2. Get a smaller house. Just one bedroom/bathroom can accomidate a sizable family.
3. Use alternative transportation, instead of a pricy car.
4. Start a home based business.
5. telecommute (sp?) to work.
6. Take baby to work. A few jobs make this a viable option. Consider the possibility.
7. Homeschool. Homeschoolers can cut costs in very creative ways, making it possible to keep the little ones around.
8. Visit your local co-op. There are many ways to save "mucho denaro" by buying quality bulk items, and baking your own bread, etc.
9. Move. If you are living in the heart of a city, life can be more pricy, depending on your location.
10. If you are single, get married. Find a (Christian) spouse who will aid you in taking care of a child.
11. Talk to Mom and Dad. If you have any reasonable relationship with them, they may be able to help mommy stay at home to raise their grandkids.
12. Seek assistance from other family members. Some people are loath to ask for help, but there is no better cause than that of raising a child properly. We need more well trained children.
13. Visit your local food bank if it really gets rough.
14. Cut meat and milk and milk form your food bill. They are expensive, and it is possible to properly nurish the family without them.
15. Visit your local church. Many of them will be happy to aid your cause, and at least a few denominations have a dorcas, or something.
I just thought I would post a few thoughts. If someone has other ideas to add to mine, please do. There is nothing more important than making sure children are properly raised by their parents, instead of someone else.
PeaceMaker
LightSon
New member
So it seems that day care is a necessary evil in some cases.
I don't think I can agree with your reasoning Elaine. The day care's values may not reflect mine, but what if they do? What if a family member doesn't share my values?
Unlike a public school, a day care need not be fashioned according to state values. A day care could be organized around a church or a home, in which case the values could be well ordered. The reflection of values in this case could be more agreeable to me, than the values of a familly member who doesn't share my values.
I suggest you frame your position as follows: i.e. Don't put your kids in any environment where your values aren't supported.
Originally posted by Elaine
I'm against day care for the same reason I'm against public schools. Your children would be under the authority and teaching of people whose values may not reflect your own. Get a family member if at all possible.
I don't think I can agree with your reasoning Elaine. The day care's values may not reflect mine, but what if they do? What if a family member doesn't share my values?
Unlike a public school, a day care need not be fashioned according to state values. A day care could be organized around a church or a home, in which case the values could be well ordered. The reflection of values in this case could be more agreeable to me, than the values of a familly member who doesn't share my values.
I suggest you frame your position as follows: i.e. Don't put your kids in any environment where your values aren't supported.
LightSon
New member
I notice many are running to the option of having a friend or family member care for the kids. Hey! That is still "day care", plain and simple.
I voted "If you know and trust who's watching them, they're fine".
I don't think having someone else "care" for my kid during the "day" is necessarily damaging. I do not think it is best, however. God gave us children to raise, and not to farm them out to someone else, but there are exceptions to the rules. I apprecated peacemakers list of daycare alternatives, but still there is the underlying notion that letting another person watch your kids in any circumstance is evil. I'm saying there is a difference between what is best and what is wrong. It may not be best to let another watch my kid, but it does't necessarily make it wrong.
And to Elo's point: As the primary breadwinner, I often have to hear the priceless moments about my child from another, usually my wife. So again, it is best for me to be with my kids, but sadly I have to go to work. I enjoyed your sarcasm nevertheless.
Incidentally, we home school and do not use any sort of daycare. I just don't think this issue is black and white and do not want to see single mothers vilified when they have found a daycare which DOES have solid Christian values. It may not be best, but under her circumstances it may be the only valid option. It is best for her to have a Godly husband too (so that she could stay at home), but sometimes that isn't possible either.
I voted "If you know and trust who's watching them, they're fine".
I don't think having someone else "care" for my kid during the "day" is necessarily damaging. I do not think it is best, however. God gave us children to raise, and not to farm them out to someone else, but there are exceptions to the rules. I apprecated peacemakers list of daycare alternatives, but still there is the underlying notion that letting another person watch your kids in any circumstance is evil. I'm saying there is a difference between what is best and what is wrong. It may not be best to let another watch my kid, but it does't necessarily make it wrong.
And to Elo's point: As the primary breadwinner, I often have to hear the priceless moments about my child from another, usually my wife. So again, it is best for me to be with my kids, but sadly I have to go to work. I enjoyed your sarcasm nevertheless.
Incidentally, we home school and do not use any sort of daycare. I just don't think this issue is black and white and do not want to see single mothers vilified when they have found a daycare which DOES have solid Christian values. It may not be best, but under her circumstances it may be the only valid option. It is best for her to have a Godly husband too (so that she could stay at home), but sometimes that isn't possible either.
My wife & I have two lovely children (well since you asked, go to WoodardFamilyOnline.com to see them). Both have been in daycare since they were very young and both have done extremely well.Our daughter is very socialized and very mature for her age. David is much younger and so we cannot tell as well how things are going for him. We have them in a home daycare with a wonderful lady who is very gifted in caring for children.
Having said the above, I do wish that our situation did not require both of us to work full time and hope that in the future, we can have David at home more with mom. I think it might be important for him as a boy.
Just my opinions.
Blessings,
Greg Woodard
WoodardFamilyOnline.com
I answered the question yes. I gave a general answer to a general question. There are exceptions, but not many. As a rule, daycares enable parents to abdicate their responsibilities as parents and let minimum wage teenagers raise their kids for them so that that can "enjoy" their own lives without the "headache" of child rearing.
Greeting Greg and welcome to TOL! It's always nice to get another poster who is not afraid to use their real name! :thumb:
I was wondering just what "situation" is it that causes you and your wife to both "have to" work full time? I read your bio on your web site and it sounds like your wife’s income alone should be enough to raise a family on. Having you at home raising the kids would be a role reversal that isn't the best situation in the world but it seems to be better than having someone else do it for you.
I notice that you are in the ministry. I know that many pastors, especially those who are associate pastors usually do not make a lot of money, but I submit to you that if your church is not paying you a good living wage then they either do not want or do not need or cannot afford to have a "Coordinator of Adult Discipleship". It is my strong conviction that a man's first ministry is to his family.
1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
I don't know what your situation enough to say whether or not this applies to you. So don't take my comments to personally. It's just that as much as you might be convinced that you children are doing fine, I can guarantee you that they would do better if your wife quit her job and raised your children herself. It has been my experience to find that most of those who think they can't do it, only think that because they haven't found the proper motivation. Where there is a will, there is generally a way.
If it were me, I would sell my house and one car, buy or rent a smaller house that I could afford on my income, work more than one job, eat beans and rice and rice and beans and whatever else was necessary to make it happen where my wife could be at home being a mommy which is her highest and best calling as a woman, especially a Christian woman.
God bless, and once again, welcome to TOL! I look forward to your response.
Resting in Him,
Clete
Originally posted by gwoodard
Our daughter is very socialized and very mature for her age. David is much younger and so we cannot tell as well how things are going for him. We have them in a home daycare with a wonderful lady who is very gifted in caring for children.
Having said the above, I do wish that our situation did not require both of us to work full time and hope that in the future, we can have David at home more with mom. I think it might be important for him as a boy.
Just my opinions.
Blessings,
Greg Woodard
WoodardFamilyOnline.com
Greeting Greg and welcome to TOL! It's always nice to get another poster who is not afraid to use their real name! :thumb:
I was wondering just what "situation" is it that causes you and your wife to both "have to" work full time? I read your bio on your web site and it sounds like your wife’s income alone should be enough to raise a family on. Having you at home raising the kids would be a role reversal that isn't the best situation in the world but it seems to be better than having someone else do it for you.
I notice that you are in the ministry. I know that many pastors, especially those who are associate pastors usually do not make a lot of money, but I submit to you that if your church is not paying you a good living wage then they either do not want or do not need or cannot afford to have a "Coordinator of Adult Discipleship". It is my strong conviction that a man's first ministry is to his family.
1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
I don't know what your situation enough to say whether or not this applies to you. So don't take my comments to personally. It's just that as much as you might be convinced that you children are doing fine, I can guarantee you that they would do better if your wife quit her job and raised your children herself. It has been my experience to find that most of those who think they can't do it, only think that because they haven't found the proper motivation. Where there is a will, there is generally a way.
If it were me, I would sell my house and one car, buy or rent a smaller house that I could afford on my income, work more than one job, eat beans and rice and rice and beans and whatever else was necessary to make it happen where my wife could be at home being a mommy which is her highest and best calling as a woman, especially a Christian woman.
God bless, and once again, welcome to TOL! I look forward to your response.
Resting in Him,
Clete
